My ex and I broke up a month and a week ago. I have been doing the no contact rule for 38 days and still ongoing. I’m still doing it because I know he’s a stubborn person. I thought I was okay and already emotionally and mentally ready until my friends told me that they found him with someone else. It hurt me to the core. He was the one who broke up with me (had been cold for almost a month before that) and saying he wanted to be open and see other people. I asked him if there already was someone else and he denied. At first I tried saving the relationship but in the end, I gave him his freedom. I even gave him a closure message 2 days after the break up and he replied too. 1 week after the closure message, I texted him because I found out his grandpa died. When he replied so late still, that was when i realized and started the NC rule. And now, I’m so confused on what to do. I thought about still continuing the NC until 90 days just to make sure that I feel better emotionally and mentally again (and I’ve been working out on my physical too and had good results so far). If you have any idea on what I should do, please let me know.
I like this article. It was very insightful, and really aimed to help the obsessive psyche of women fixated on what they can’t have, relationships that they want to mend, trying to get married…etc. While I agree that being happy and getting over the guy truly can attract him back, the truth is most of the time it doesn’t. And well, this tactic is rather hypocritical ‘cuz if a women has truly moved on, what will make her want the guy back if he comes back? It’s a tricky maneuver to do. It’s basically saying get over him, no strings attached, but ya, look over your shoulder in case he does. It’s not a true method of getting him back, in my opinion. But sometimes this method is the best outcome for both parties.
These qualities will impress your ex, and you are giving the impression that you are not desperate for another chance. You will become the entirely different girl that your ex boyfriend will surely like.
My ex and I have been together for 6 months and he broke up with me last Saturday over the phone. We were each other’s first loves. We’ve had the ‘Honeymoon’ phase but from around 2 months into the relationship up until our recent breakup, we’ve been having arguments based on jealousy, mistrust and miscommunications. We would make up the day after the argument and be good then have another argument a few days later. Most of the arguments were started by me due to my overthinking, insecurities and accusations. We broke up once in September over some trust issues and an argument, but got back together after a week. He said he needed time off to forget the pain and it was him who apologised asked me back. Anyway, this time we’ve had constant arguments for a week straight before the breakup, he said the mistrust and me always starting shit was too much for him and that he’s lost the attraction for me. I haven’t been needy after the breakup and haven’t done any of the 5 things to avoid. I have took time to reflect on my behaviours and realised my mistakes. I really wish we could start again. I’ve only texted him 2 days after the breakup, saying “hey” and asking him how he is. He responded rather quick and said he’s “decent”. I haven’t texted him back ever since and neither did he. Should I start the NC period now? And for how long should it last? Is there anything else I can do to contribute towards getting back together?
Show him that you are fine without him. It will be clear to him that you aren’t an obsessed ex girlfriend, but it will also show him that you’re having fun without him, which may result in him missing you more.
Exercise regularly. Walking, running, swimming and biking will actually offer immediate relief from your pain because staying active stimulates brain chemicals and increases serotonin, which advances the growth of nerve cells. You’ll also gain valuable reflection time with which to ruminate and think over your feelings. You could come to some valuable conclusions this way. You’ll not only enjoy physical health, but experience more energy to make it through the day.
better for your criminal record than slashing your ex’s tires when you see his or her car parked outside a new date’s place. The pluses are plenty: Going to the gym fills the time you would otherwise spend sulking at home, exercise releases chemicals that will actually help you feel less depressed, and you’ll boost your confidence because you’ll find yourself looking hot to trot.
Hopefully, there are more good experiences in his memory of you than bad ones, and over time, left to his imagination, the good ones will trump any recent bad ones that have surfaced around the breakup. If there are more bad memories than good ones, it’s worth asking the question if you should get back together with your ex in the first place.
I don’t know about my boyfriend but I always love him from my deep heart and want to spend rest of my life with him. I tried texting him, begging him to get back but he was not ready to create any sort of relationship with me again.
Okay, so you’re not ready to get back out there just yet. But that doesn’t mean you should quarantine your libido until further notice. Take a striptease aerobics class, finally download 50 Shades of Grey, or just flirt with the scruffy barista at the coffee shop. Just do something to keep your sexual energy burningeven if it is on low for now.
Let the ego go: The second thing you can do in those times is to let your ego go. Ask your partner politely about your situation of relationship. Ask him the reason of being furious. Let him speak and cool down his mind while you hear his side of story.
Before we created the above guide on this particular topic of the proven 4-step method to rebuilding a relationship, we used to recommend the following information below. Although I recommend that you download the free book I told you about above, I’m still including the original info below because it’s still good for you to have.
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Paulo Coelho says in one of his books, “When somebody leaves, it’s so that somebody else can arrive.” Know that just because your ex left you, this is for a reason. Maybe it’s a good thing, even if your ego is hurt and your heart broken. Look at it from a positive side.
I sent him a goodbye letter after asking if he would leave his girl and start over with me because I believe we could work things out. He didn’t respond to that. But he did respond to the goodbye letter with a little crying emoji. He called me right after the goodbye letter and I didn’t answer and right after he sent me the crying emoji. That was on Sunday Sept. 17, 2017.
This time off will also help you to distinguish between normal grief after a breakup and a real desire to be with your ex again. Nearly everyone feels sad after a breakup, even if their ex was a jerk and they were truly incompatible. Time alone will help you sort out these feelings.
Letting go can be hard to do. But everything in life always come and gone, and we pass it through. Why do you think you cant get over your ex. I am sure you can. Move on your life and start doing things before you met him, or continue trying things you never done. Make yourself busy with something more exciting, something new, something fresh.
It sounds cliche, but time. Time is the best healer, and also the only healer. You can’t force yourself over someone, the only thing you can do is keep yourself busy and distracted to keep you as happy as possible, and eventually you will find that you think about him less and less. Eventually you will meet somebody else, somebody who is perfect for you, and you will realise why the other relationship failed, so that you could find him – the one.
What eases the pain is the internal image vs actual presence theory. On paper, in my heart, I met the guy I always wanted to have, he made me feel so satisfied,equal and comfortable, but I had to let go knowing I thought of my ex too much, and I never wanted to hurt this very kind man.
Peter’s young wife Paulette had said to him, “That’s it. You’ve betrayed my trust one time too many. You are far too nice when you talk on the phone to the mother of your daughter, and by contrast you show no love toward me. All you do with me is avoid me or get mad. I’ve had it. Please, leave the house.” [otp_overlay]