Trust is critical for establishing and maintaining a healthy, successful relationship. While most will agree with that statement, many marriages and relationships fail because neither person took the time to build trust in a relationship.
So many other things come to mind first, like being romantic, keeping the spice in the marriage, “dull” prevention, you name it. The truth is that people do not really connect without trusting each other; and, most women will not sleep with someone they do not trust (there’s a hint, guys!).
While it will always be popular to surprise your lover with candy (both sexes), flowers (mostly women), tickets to that concert, or a new restaurant to try, put just as much effort into making sure you are a trustworthy companion and mate.
Here are 7 ways you can succeed to build trust in a relationship:
- Be predictable. I mean that from a standpoint of being reliable from day to day. You can still be unpredictable in what music you are in the mood for, what clothes you wear or what gifts you give, but always show up on time and be known for being “reliable”.
- Say what you mean. Make sure you are not giving one message with your mouth and a different one with your body language. Saying you love someone but being “cold” to the touch or saying you are happy when your face and body language clearly state you are not will give your partner an uneasiness towards you and question both what you do and what you say.
- Believe in your partner. Trust is mutual, and if you do not have a basic faith in your partner that he or she is competent in the things they do at work or at home then you cannot be supportive (honestly) and they will perceive a lack of trust. This makes it difficult for them to reciprocate trust to you.
- Do not be secretive. Sometimes you need to be secretive to pull off a surprise party or a gift, but try not to show it, and do not extend it for a long period of time. If your partner becomes uncomfortably suspicious the relationship may sour before you ever get to the joy of the surprise; which will be muted at that.
- Communicate your needs. Do not strive to be selfish or high maintenance, but do not make your partner guess what you want and need. At the same time, make sure you inquire of your spouse or partner what their needs are, both emotionally and physically.
- Learn to say no. You want to meet his or her needs and help them in most any way you can. What you do not want to do is become a slave or feel like you are subservient to him or her – like a doormat. Saying “no” once in a while, where appropriate, actually builds your partners respect of you and will help build trust in the relationship.
- Seek to grow your relationship, not just preserve it. Sometimes this results in a little friction that is resolved with some turmoil or mini crisis. Do not be afraid of some conflict in the relationship, just make sure you seek to resolve it calmly, promptly and in a mutually beneficial manner.
Successful, happy marriages and relationships are work for both of you. When you proactively seek to build trust in a relationship that work will pay dividends for years and years to come, bringing both of you greater happiness and fulfillment.
Some pain is to be expected, but working through it will make both of you and your relationship all that much stronger.