I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, and i broke up with him Because i felt that he is cold at me for almost a week he didn’t want to text me and even during our anniversary he don’t provide same effort to see me or text me I thought he never love me anymore. Within those 9 months we broke up I have been in no contact rule and like what you said in your other article all the sign that he still loves me are all present. Then now he said to me he wants to go back what we have but he is confused on what he felt he said that he loves me but he want to make sure of that feeling first. that’s why I have doubt and question his love for me and I can’t see his sincerity that he really what me back. Also my feelings start to be confused. I need your advice if I should go back with him, until know it’s hard for me to list my pros and cons of getting back with him. What do you think should I do?
I would stop being the one to continue reaching out. Take things slow and do not give him 100% until you have the title of the relationship again. Be positive, and show him confidence. Possibly take a while to reply to his text just like he does to you. If you would like tailored advice I highly encourage you to reach out to we can give you a tailored action plan to your situation. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
My ex and I broke up. I successfully did no contact for one month immediately after the break up and sent a follow-up text. In the initial first text I asked him in the message if he’d like to catch up for coffee, he said he it was too soon as he was struggling to find normality. I said I understood and we had a really good catch up chat via text. We have been texting almost everyday, good chats about friends, work, movies etc. I then asked him about a week or two later if he’d like to catch up for a drink he said he’s not ready to just hang out and it might be a while and he was sorry, but wants to stay in touch. He isn’t much of a texter even in our two year relationship. So I was a bit confused when he said no but I acted cool about it and said I understood and I’m happy to keep chatting (texting). We continued texting for about two weeks about random things and I got a fine in the mail I approached him about it cause I didn’t believe it was me driving (the fine was from a few months ago) and he said in a long message he remembered that day because I come over cooked for him and we had coffee in the park, he also joked in the message about a lunch we had made that’s still in his fridge and looks a bit dangerous lol. We sent a few more texts about our pet fishes and what not, seemed to be good. He said the suburb I was livin in now suited me 🙂 and then I said you should check it out sometime and he said yeah that would be nice :). So then a few days after that I said what is he up to this weekend and would he like to come check out my place/pool (he seemed to respond better to that then the coffee idea hence why I asked). But then he took two days to reply and said sorry he had a busy week and probably not this weekend and that he needs a pool at this place. Honestly at this point I felt confused so I replied saying ok when were you thinking to catch up as I will be away most of January? And he said he’s not in a huge rush, it’d be nice to see me but he feels he needs to find his own feet first and maybe closer to Xmas/New Years but he doesn’t know and not too rush it. I said it does suck but I understand and hope I catch you before I go :). That was our last text about 3-4 days ago and I’m not sure what to do now since I’ve asked to catch up a few times. I’m confused, I feel he’s definitely shown some positive signs, especially sending me some money for the fine even though he didn’t think it was him. My friends said I should just let him text me and not text him so I haven’t and it’s been a few days now. He was never much of a texter anyway but I’m not too sure what to do from here. Thanks 🙂
If a girl in a gang of girls is told by one of the group that she’s not brave enough to shoplift, it often happens that the girl will do just that as proof that she had the guts to do it. And this happens even if she had no need to shoplift and was really worried about getting caught. Essentially someone has got them to do something they didn’t want to do. And this is exactly what you are trying to achieve in trying to get your ex back who may currently be showing no signs of wanting to get back with you.
From this point you can move on to the next stage of building the desire in him to want to be with you again. If the above three-step formula shows that there is still a chance of the two of you getting back together then it should be more than possible to re-ignite those flames of love quickly.
SIDE NOTE: One thing I want you to see here is that to your ex or any other girl, your DMV/ perceived superiority is as high as your behavior makes it, and is only partially related to your job, income, looks etc. This is why no guy reading this has any excuse for not being able to become the kind of guy his ex wants for a relationship.
They act apathetic, but will still reply to me, and has hugged me since then. Half of their family has messaged me, including their mother and grandmother. They’re talking about feeling suicidal, dropping out of school, not wanting friends or to be around people.
Many relationship experts don’t tell you but Push/Pull technique is one of the best ways to getting your girl back. This technique is based on notion that the thing you want, is the thing you can’t get. Currently you are feeling you can’t get your ex girlfriend which is driving you insane. It is common for human behavior.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your concerns are valid, especially when it comes to trying to get back with an ex after years apart. However, when it comes to determining next steps with your ex, try focussing more on what happened in your relationship with her and not with what happened in your failed marriage. The two relationships need to be kept separate. If you can determine what went wrong between you and your ex five years ago, and find solutions to avoid it happening again, you should be in good shape for the next shot. If you need help in this, feel free to reach out to us and book a session. We work with a variety of couples dealing with issues similar to yours.
We are dedicated to helping couples improve their relationships and marriages. We also help bring people together by giving tips and selling programs that contain advice on dating as well as breakups.
Consider in Scripture, how Jesus responded to those who wept over the loss of Lazarus (John 11:33-35). Although he knew he was going to resurrect Lazarus from the dead, he empathized with the mourners’ heartache. He didn’t try to talk them into a more chipper attitude, by presenting them with the fact of Lazarus’ forthcoming resurrection. He didn’t remain perky, although he knew he had a great surprise in store for them. Verse 33 says that when Jesus saw them weeping, “…he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled,” and verse 35 says, “Jesus wept.” Although their grief was unfounded, he didn’t invalidate their pain, he felt it with them.
Hello, after a relationship of 2 years with my bestfriend (since 5 years) I heard from one of his mate he was already with this girl from his class. I taught she was a rebound because 3 weeks after the breakup they already were dating. My ex told me that he would tell me if he has a new girlfriend but he never told about her. But now I think she is more than a rebound.. It’s been 2 months and they follow the familymembers on instagram. I don’t understand him, why doesn’t he just tell me he has a new girlfriend? I’m the kind of person who wants always the best for the other person. I told him I want him to be happy, even if it’s not me who makes him happy. We had a fight last month because I still had contact with one of his best friends. He told me he could not party with me on NYE because he couldn’t be drunk in the same room as me (we have a lot of common friends). I wrote him a letter to say I’m okay with the breakup and I think it’s for the best to give each other space. He didn’t respond on the letter, but after that he puts more snapchats in our friends group to make me look at it. I don’t understand him?
This one is obvious. The more you text or call your ex; the less attractive you will look to her. Even if you act all casual when you text her; you will still come off as needy as your ex will see right through it.
Wherever possible, and once you are able to do so after the painful period has passed, get back to being you, do things that make you happy and do all you can so you are living your life to the point of a radiance coming off you. Women who carry themselves in this way are very attractive to men.
It is very likely that she will contact you in these No-Contact days, especially if you follow my plan exactly. She will start feeling ‘fear of loss’ and start placing your value once again. It will be her natural instinct to contact you once again.
I may do a review of the book you mention. If so I will reference your excellent comment. Thanks so much for writing in, and also for your encouraging feedback about my perspective of hope and attempts to change before writing off an abusive person.
You have a fear of failure. Many times, people want to get back together to prove they didn’t do anything wrong, and that they can “make it work this time.” If all you’re doing is trying to feel that you can make a bad situation good for your own personal reasons, move on. Regardless of who did what to whom, you can’t fix the past; you can only learn from it to improve your future. [otp_overlay]