Relationship Advice For Guys
Relationships seem to come more naturally to girls than guys. And just like many men will not ask for directions until completely lost, many will not seek relationship advice until they are really in trouble, a break up is imminent or maybe until after they are dumped with no clue as to what happened.
The thing is, guys usually expect everything to just happen naturally in a relationship and do not expect to have to “work” at getting along with a girl. These guys are in for a rude shock and probably a break up or two. Let us hope they learn before they get married and suffer a subsequent divorce.
Women generally realize that they have to work at the relationship, although from a man’s point of view, a lot of the effort is skewed to making them happy. Whether true or not, it is typical for a man not to fully comprehend what his wife or girlfriend does do to try to make him happy, serve his needs emotionally and physically and generally enrich his life.
Men will do well to understand early an important piece of relationship advice; there are key ingredients to making a woman happy:
- Treat her with respect both for her person and for her ideas
- Show appreciation for the things she does for you
- Go out of your way to find a way to surprise her (pleasantly, of course)
- Open up to her about her feelings and your feelings; communicate on her level, not yours
- Continually seek to earn her trust by always being honest and open
Ignore this aspects of your relationship with your wife or girlfriend at your own peril, guys.
Pay attention to your gal, both what she says and what she does. If she does something for you where she really went to a lot of trouble you need to notice that and say so in an approving manner.
Now here can be a tough part: do so sincerely. A compliment that is not sincere she will see through! What do I mean? Here is an example that most men will encounter sooner or later.
Say she prepares a meal for you and you know it was a lot of work. It tastes terrible. What do you do? There are a couple of ways of handling it, but do NOT show your honesty by coming out and saying it. Emphasize how it looks extraordinary in display or complexity and you admire her for being able to do all the work and put it all together.
If she notices that you are not enjoying it, maybe she is not either; then perhaps you can ask if she is enjoying all of her hard work. But you can certainly find some way to build her up and thank her for working so hard to please you. Eventually she may admit it is bad and you never have to say it.
Tell her, then, that you would like to help her with the cleanup. Not only does it give you more time with her but you want to lighten her load after she spent so much effort with the preparation and serving of the meal. You never have to imply that you like the task, only that you enjoy making her life easier, if only in a small way.
What to do when you do need relationship advice
It is typical for guys to get together at the bar after work or even during work and talk about their wives and girlfriends. Often this leads to a gripe session. In the process of griping, three detrimental things happen:
- What you say MAY be used against you if it gets back to your wife or girl (and it might, perhaps by someone trying to steal her from you!)
- You will get down about the relationship yourself and justify feeling bad towards her, a negative spiral that can lead to unhappiness and break up.
- The other guys will give you advice that “sounds” good in front of the boys, but will usually result in further arguments and trouble at home.
What you need is objective advice that will smooth things over now and lead to a healthier relationship long term. Your buddies may provide lines you can use to try to win the battle but you will ultimately lose the war and she will be gone.
Some of the best relationship advice for guys I can recommend is The Magic of Making Up by T.W. (TDub) Jackson. Check out what he has to say and what other guys say about his advice by clicking here.
You will be glad you did – and she will be too!
Tags: how to make a woman happy, relationship advice for guys