How To Make Him Fall In Love With Me Again

If you are one of those women who are in a relationship but you feel unloved or have had your boyfriend or husband break up with you, then take heart, this is for you. You still love him and want to know how to make him fall in love with me again.

There can be a lot of reasons why your guy does not love you anymore; in fact, he may love you but just does not show it. Has he left you yet? If not, there is a good chance that – unless you are just making life too good for him – he is staying because he does still love you.

Start by evaluating your relationship with him. Is your love for him real or are you just scared of the alternative? Make sure you are asking how to make him fall in love with me again for the right, long term reasons. Fixing short term problems in our lives feels good for a while, but hurts more in the long run.

Your goal should be a healthy relationship based on mutual love, respect and admiration. If you have all of that for him, then let’s move forward and reignite his love for you.

How has your behavior been so far? Have you been begging, pleading, nagging at him to love you? I hope not, but if you have, that needs to stop right away. Even step back from the situation a little bit and let things cool off. If you are married, I am not saying to leave at all, but just make sure you give him some space and do not aggravate him further.

How to Make Him Fall In Love With Me Again

Is there anything in particular that you know of that could have put a dent in the relationship or somehow cooled his love for you? Did you have an affair, change your appearance, do something to anger him?

Often times there is no one set reason that causes a man’s love to fade for his wife or girlfriend. It is pretty common for people to just get used to things over time and forget to have and to show appreciation for what is most important in their lives – sometimes even loved ones.

Initially there was probably a strong physical attraction that quite naturally loses its draw over time. Boredom sets in even with a Ferrari, so you do not have to take it personally. But it does require extra effort in the relationship to keep the spark alive.

As you go through this process you want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. You need to eat right, exercise and even do little things for yourself so that your energy levels are high, you do not slip into depression and that you are able to put a smile on your face each day.

Happy, positive people are enjoyable to be around. Everyone wants to be surrounded by people that pull them up and not drag them down. Even in the midst of life’s most complicated problems you want to do your best to look on the bright side, count your blessings and find something to smile about.

Keep moving forward with your own life, too. Take every opportunity to show affection and care for your man but do not have him thinking that you are just there as a doormat, waiting to serve him or waiting for him to make your life better. We are each responsible for our own happiness, do not be waiting for him to provide that for you.

Go Back to The Start

Think back about when you two first got together. What types of things were you attracted to and vice versa – what attracted him to you? If some of those things are not evident anymore, can they be resurrected? Maybe a sense of humor that has been crushed by the troubles of life.

Everyone “does” more things when first dating, and usually that is an expense of time and money that can not be carried on indefinitely. But are there some activities that you always used to love to do together that you have not done in a while?

Perhaps if you cannot do some of those things you could bring it up in conversation or bring out some photos of you two in those happy times. Remind your guy of the good times you had together and indicate your willingness to have good times once again.

You want to make sure you are taking care of his needs physically and emotionally, just without the appearance of a slave. Yet at the same time do not ignore yourself and your needs. Be the person you need to be and that should remind him of the reasons he fell in love with you.

Maintain your appearance like you did when first dating. There are times for grunge clothes, sweats, no makeup and rollers, but make sure you do all you can with your physical appearance often enough to keep him looking at you.

The additional benefit of this is that you will feel better about yourself and project a more positive image to everyone around you. You may be surprised at how much better you are treated not only at home but at work or even running errands.

This is not the entire story, by a long shot, but it should get you started and give you even more to think about.

If you are really serious about finding out “how to make him fall in love with me again“, then I highly recommend you take a look at a great resource. It’s called the Magic of Making Up and it has now sold over 50,000 copies and helped women like you the world over.

It can change your life, save your marriage or get your boyfriend back. I highly recommend it.

Be Sociable, Share!

{ 113 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather April 10, 2013 at 12:43 am

I too, like Jenni, have been in my relationship for 7 years this month. Although still in the dating phase, no signs of moving past that.
I love him, but love who he was in our earlier days. Now we feel more like roommates. It’s a two-sided fault though. If I’m home first, I still get up to greet him, not vice versa.
I don’t feel as confident in myself anymore, so I don’t feel as attracting to him. I miss the hand holding and when he would put his arm around my waist as we pass through a crowded area. We go for walks, but holding his hand, “messes up his rhythm.” I need those little things. … not only to feel about our relationship, but to feel good about myself. I feel better when I “feel lived.” His description of “feeling loved” is in the bedroom, and bc my esteem and sense of feeling desirable has dwindled, so has our activity in bed. So now he feels “less loved” and so do I. We both love each other and say it every day. But I want us to feel the love and the butterflies again.

Will Scott April 11, 2013 at 11:43 am

Heather,

Thanks for writing; this is actually somewhat encouraging as most problems I deal with are a bad situation.

Not that yours is “good”, but I feel much more confident that it can be helped.

You know the problem, so now the issue is to help him know the problem. The question is, does he REALLY love you or does he just want to be “friends with benefits”?

On the one hand, the “new-ness” of love is hard to replicate life long. If I had a fix for that I’d be insanely rich!

Maybe you would get some ideas watching the (free) video over at Girl Gets Ring – you didn’t say directly that you wanted to progress to marriage, but “between the lines” that’s sort of what I’m hearing. Anyway the traffic light analogy will probably resonate with you.

Let me know if that helps.

Best,
Will.

Sue May 8, 2014 at 9:55 am

My boyfriend and I were together for a year and lived together for10 months when he asked me to leave because I treated him very badly. I didn’t show any love or affection unless we were having sex, which was quite often though. When I moved out of his house, I realized that I am very deeply in love with him and don’t want to lose him.

I pleaded with him to give me another chance and yesterday (it’s been a month since I moved out) he told me he loves me but isn’t in love with me. He said he wants to get those feelings back but I need to give him time and space. We are supposed to see each other tonight, but I think it’s so he can give me my stuff back. I had a major freak out two nights ago when he wouldn’t respond to me and I found out yesterday he had an emergency at work and lost his phone during the emergency.

I love him very much and haven’t contacted him since yesterday when he told me he wants to get the feelings back but needs time and space. His job is demanding in the summer months and his parents live a couple hundred miles away and his mom is really sick, so he needs to see them every other weekend.

Is it possible for him to fall in love with me again if he says he loves me and wants to get those feelings back?? Please help!!

Will Scott May 8, 2014 at 2:16 pm

Sue,

It sounds like there is definitely potential but there are some roadblocks on your end..a few of which you have already identified.

I think it’s important right now that you meet him as requested and just be calm no matter what happens.

You already miss him, you now need him to miss you.

The first step is to take any pressure off that he might be feeling about seeing you.

Let things cool off just a bit then.

If his job is going to requiring MORE of him that is one opportunity for you.

With his mother being ill so far away, that’s another OPPORTUNITY for you.

But you cannot rush this.

Your situation is probably ideal for taking a look at The Magic of Making Up. I know Tdub personally and he really knows how to help in situations like this. Watch the video on his site (it’s free) and see if don’t agree.

Hope this helps.
Will

Rebecca May 16, 2014 at 12:18 pm

My husband and I have had a hard year. He started having an affair last May. It ended when the other woman and I found out in October. He says he loves me but isn’t in love with me. We have been married for 14 years and have 4 children. I have been a home maker, and only now have a part time job. He was still on dating sites and hiding his phone until this past weekend. He wants to think through things and maybe fix things. Neither of us wants a divorce, and we have been together over half our lives. What should we or I do? I am willing to forgive, even through the hurt. I am not someone to dig up the past, I would love to just bury it all, and move on. The only arguments we ever have are about him seeing other women or texting them. He says he wants to build trust, and work it out, yet has continued to be unfaithful. He says he loves me, we are intimate, though he rarely kisses me anymore. what is your opinion?

Rebecca May 16, 2014 at 12:38 pm

I also just got off the phone with him a bit ago, he is at work. He wants us to talk to our older children (12, and 14 both girls) who know everything, and lay out the what may happen, and hear their thoughts. He wants to make a change for sure, because we can’t keep going on the way things are (still feeling the need to be out all weekend with other women or at bars, or where ever he may end up-without letting us know). If he chooses for us not to be together, the children and I will have to move an hour away to my family’s. He hates that Idea. He doesn’t want us to go anywhere. He talks as though he is going to stop the childish behavior (and spending ) and be daddy and husband. Yet he also sounds like he is on the fence.

Will Scott May 16, 2014 at 12:42 pm

Rebecca,

The only time I start to feel a little bit of compassion for someone who has an affair is when their spouse has been holding out on them, for whatever reason(s). Does not sound like that is the case with you. My heart really goes out to you.

Being able to forgive him and being willing to move forward puts you ahead of about 99% of all other people; it’s just so hard to do – so he *should* consider himself VERY fortunate.

He needs to be told that the only way to build trust is by being completely open, honest and FAITHFUL over time.

The best definition of truth I have heard is: “when the word and the deed become one”.

So he needs to know that to build trust he has to do what he says he is going to do. The phone needs to be “open”, the computer restricted to worthwhile uses. And maybe he needs to know that if he wants your affections and intimacy he has to forsake all others, just like what was probably in your marriage vows. You are not there to be “used” at his whim & convenience just when some other woman isn’t available.

Then go back to what made him fall in love with you initially. Understanding that things change, neither of you are as young as you were and perhaps your body shows that a little. That’s OK. If it shows it too much, maybe that’s something you want to work on for both your benefit and his. Becoming a mom changes things too, and he has to understand that. You both have lots more duties and responsibilities.

Question, though…do you two “date” anymore? As in “date nights”? Chances are he misses some of the excitement of “the chase” that goes on when two people are courting and getting to know each other.

That’s a start…

Let me know if that helps at all.

Best,
Will

Will Scott May 16, 2014 at 12:48 pm

Rebecca,

Your children should not be (in my opinion) brought into the “inner circle” of the marriage itself. This is between you and your husband.

Once you two decide then you can keep your children informed of what’s happening in their family, but it is not their decision to make BUT

*MOST IMPORTANTLY*

This is NOT their PRESSURE to ENDURE!

They are children and should not be subjected to the pressures of this kind of decision, nor are they developed enough to make a wise decision.

Would you ask a 12 or 14 year old’s advice about a mortgage on your home? I doubt it. Your marriage is infinitely a more important decision than a mortgage (maybe a poor example, but hopefully you understand my point).

Definitely sounds like he needs to grow up a bit and take some responsibility.

Best,
Will

Rebecca May 20, 2014 at 3:07 pm

We have had dates, but it’s so hard to get him to talk…it may be easier to pull teeth. He is still on the site and locked his phone. He disappeared Saturday. We had a date planned but he spent that money in a bar, then came in around midnight. He started crying. Now I’m just praying. I want to make the right/best decision for us. I truly love him, but can’t make it work without help. He swears he wants to work it out.

Rebecca May 20, 2014 at 6:17 pm

By the way I’m only 31 and he is 33…we both look even younger than that.

Will Scott May 20, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Rebecca,

You are truly in a tough spot.

He needs consequences for his actions – though I’m not in a position to suggest what those be.

Perhaps someone he gives permission to hold him accountable for his actions and have that someone be a person who will be tough with him and demand an appropriate level of commitment to making things right.

If you are 31 & 33 and your oldest is 14, you two obviously got an early start on family life – not something I would recommend. But that’s water under the bridge. Maybe he feels he “lost” some of his youth due to early fatherhood but that’s something every promiscuous young man needs to be willing to pay the price for. Sadly, 99.9% never give it a thought.

No one is to blame for his situation other than himself, he either works with you on building your joint future or he will lose that which he has. How to get that message into his head is hard for me to say since I don’t know him.

I wish I could help more.

Best,
Will

Anonymous June 11, 2014 at 4:35 pm

My husband and i have been together for 13 years now and married for 8 of those years. We have been together since we were 16 years old. I am a stay at home mom with our 2 boys. He works out of town and sometimes out of state a lot. A few months ago he came out and told me he doesnt love me like he use to. A few weeks after that he totally broke down and said he was done and wanted a divorce. We talked things out and reconciled for a week. When he returned to work i noticed he was being distant again and he said he had returned to “reality”. He finally confessed to cheating at least 3 times and is now “just talking” to a woman at his work. Which was a big shock to me but explains his actions. He said he likes her and she makes him happy. She is going through a divorce also. He said he doesnt like me which i can understand. I have done all the wrong things to try to get him back by pleading and crying. And he refuses to want to work things out. He says the biggest struggle between us is that i don’t let him talk or listen to what he is saying. And i think he has a hard time with just saying what he means. So obviously there is communication struggles. I have asked him to slow things down with the other woman cause it has a big influence on how we both act toward other about the situation, but he is probly still talking to her. I have invited him over for some time together without talking about the situation and i hope it goes well. Any advice?

Will Scott June 11, 2014 at 6:20 pm

Did anything in particular come to light when you did talk things out?

Chances are that he does not like some of the normal changes & responsibilities in life; instead wants the “excitement” of a new woman/challenge.

Try to note the differences there may have been in the “you” he fell in love with and the “you” of today. Granted, you are a mother now and that changes a lot, but look past that at some of the other attributes and just see if there is something you can identify.

Do NOT feel like this is your fault, I’m sure there is blame enough for two. We just want to see if there is a way to compromise and reconcile the way things are with the way we would like them to be.

Please let us know what you find out.

Best,
Will

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: