If you are one of those women who are in a relationship but you feel unloved or have had your boyfriend or husband break up with you, then take heart, this is for you. You still love him and want to know how to make him fall in love with me again.
There can be a lot of reasons why your guy does not love you anymore; in fact, he may love you but just does not show it. Has he left you yet? If not, there is a good chance that – unless you are just making life too good for him – he is staying because he does still love you.
Start by evaluating your relationship with him. Is your love for him real or are you just scared of the alternative? Make sure you are asking how to make him fall in love with me again for the right, long term reasons. Fixing short term problems in our lives feels good for a while, but hurts more in the long run.
Your goal should be a healthy relationship based on mutual love, respect and admiration. If you have all of that for him, then let’s move forward and reignite his love for you.
How has your behavior been so far? Have you been begging, pleading, nagging at him to love you? I hope not, but if you have, that needs to stop right away. Even step back from the situation a little bit and let things cool off. If you are married, I am not saying to leave at all, but just make sure you give him some space and do not aggravate him further.
How to Make Him Fall In Love With Me Again
Is there anything in particular that you know of that could have put a dent in the relationship or somehow cooled his love for you? Did you have an affair, change your appearance, do something to anger him?
Often times there is no one set reason that causes a man’s love to fade for his wife or girlfriend. It is pretty common for people to just get used to things over time and forget to have and to show appreciation for what is most important in their lives – sometimes even loved ones.
Initially there was probably a strong physical attraction that quite naturally loses its draw over time. Boredom sets in even with a Ferrari, so you do not have to take it personally. But it does require extra effort in the relationship to keep the spark alive.
As you go through this process you want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. You need to eat right, exercise and even do little things for yourself so that your energy levels are high, you do not slip into depression and that you are able to put a smile on your face each day.
Happy, positive people are enjoyable to be around. Everyone wants to be surrounded by people that pull them up and not drag them down. Even in the midst of life’s most complicated problems you want to do your best to look on the bright side, count your blessings and find something to smile about.
Keep moving forward with your own life, too. Take every opportunity to show affection and care for your man but do not have him thinking that you are just there as a doormat, waiting to serve him or waiting for him to make your life better. We are each responsible for our own happiness, do not be waiting for him to provide that for you.
Go Back to The Start
Think back about when you two first got together. What types of things were you attracted to and vice versa – what attracted him to you? If some of those things are not evident anymore, can they be resurrected? Maybe a sense of humor that has been crushed by the troubles of life.
Everyone “does” more things when first dating, and usually that is an expense of time and money that can not be carried on indefinitely. But are there some activities that you always used to love to do together that you have not done in a while?
Perhaps if you cannot do some of those things you could bring it up in conversation or bring out some photos of you two in those happy times. Remind your guy of the good times you had together and indicate your willingness to have good times once again.
You want to make sure you are taking care of his needs physically and emotionally, just without the appearance of a slave. Yet at the same time do not ignore yourself and your needs. Be the person you need to be and that should remind him of the reasons he fell in love with you.
Maintain your appearance like you did when first dating. There are times for grunge clothes, sweats, no makeup and rollers, but make sure you do all you can with your physical appearance often enough to keep him looking at you.
The additional benefit of this is that you will feel better about yourself and project a more positive image to everyone around you. You may be surprised at how much better you are treated not only at home but at work or even running errands.
This is not the entire story, by a long shot, but it should get you started and give you even more to think about.
If you are really serious about finding out “how to make him fall in love with me again“, then I highly recommend you take a look at a great resource. It’s called the Magic of Making Up and it has now sold over 50,000 copies and helped women like you the world over.
It can change your life, save your marriage or get your boyfriend back. I highly recommend it.
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
I need help with my husband.
Diana,
I would love to try to help if I can, is it something we can discuss through the comments here or should I email you (I don’t want to email without permission).
Best,
Will
me and my b/f of 5 years are breaking up he says he doesn’t think he loves me anymore. Please email
I will try to get an email to you tomorrow.
thanks.
My boyfriend of 7 years and I broke-up. I am not doing well at all, even with the help of family,friends and professional help. I still love this man very much and want to repair the damage that’s been done by both of us to this relationship. He’s unwilling to work on it and just wants to walk away. He says he doesn’t love me anymore. I’m in need of your assistance. Can you help me?
Hi there, I was wondering if you could advise me on the problems I am having with my
Boyfriend of five years. We had the most wonderful relationship in the beginning until he started his overseas education a year ago and things have been rocky ever since. I tried with best efforts to remind him of my
Love and presence by sending him parcels containing gifts and letters occasionally. He is studying law overseas while I have begun my career as a teacher. It seems like at times he would get so carried away with lofty ambitions and thirst for money (although he is just a student at this point of time) and I would remind him of the need of humilty. I was afraid as this was the very man who once said that he would be happy enough having a simple life with me. And then there are all too many times when I waited by the phone or his calls only to have him return the calls hours later telling me that he was sorry and he was out with friends. Perhaps I’ve been too sticky but he used to be so needy of me. I feel like I am the only one working hard for this relationship. I really love him but he prioritized his Friends and work over me. The only times he seemed to need me are times when his friends are away or when he is feeling stressed. But I can’t help feeling that this is so unfair. He says he loves me but it’s hardly shown through his actions. I cannot recall the last time he gave me a gift. He failed to spend my birthday with me even when he was back in town. He’s returned this time promising to spend a lot of time with me. But this promise seems to be, once again, failing to materialize. How can I make him need me more and appreciate me more? I’m so unhappy but yet I can’t bear to lose him. I look forward to your email.
Jeena,
Will help if I can, may I email you?
Will
My b/f of 4 yrs and I are on again off again…we have a 2 yr old and have had a rocky past. The spark has definitly died and I don’t know what to do. I want him to look at me the way he used to, and desire to be with me the way he used to…
Hi, my fiance and i went to school together but never dated(even though he showed a lot of interest). Two years after leaving school he found me and never gave up until i gave in…. He loved me unconditionally. We have been together 3 yrs now and are living together with our 7 month old baby…. I dont feel loved anymore, he ignores me and parties with his friends ever so often(he usually never goes anywhere without me)…. Now he doesn’t even say”I Love You” something he use to say alot(so i don’t either)….Does he not love me anymore?? Should i take our child and move on??? Plz HELP….. I thought we would last a lifetime
You can email me.
Im having problems with my boyfriend of only 9 months. We have been through a lot together already, we went through a rough patch where mistakes were made and we broke up for about a month, we got back together and have been back together for 2 months now. We recently had an argument about a past problem and he has since told me that he is unsure if he is in love with me anymore and needs some time to sort it out. I’m completely hurt by this because right up until he told me this he told me I was everything he wanted and that he loved me. It hurts because i’ve seen that he loves me, his friends have told me they see it and so has his mom. I don’t know if he’s using it as an excuse because he is afraid of getting hurt after what he went through with the first break up. Or if the reason he says the relationship isn’t the same is because for the summer we both live at home (2 hours apart). Where we were normally together every day at school. I’m just so lost and hurt by him and I need to know what is going through his mind.
You can e-mail me.
Clare,
Hope you got my email??
Will
My husband and I have been married for over 2 years and together almost 5 years. He recently told me that he loves me and I am his best friend but he is no longer romantically in love with me. He has been feeling this way for 6 months and tried to deal with it on his own. Neither one of us wants a divorce, but we don’t know where to go from here. We will be starting counseling next week. I need to know how to break the ice and have him fall back in love with me. Any advice would be most helpful.
Cynthia,
Would love to help if I can, should I respond here or would you rather I email you?
Best,
Will
email works
Hi, how are you? well, to make it simple, this is going for 5 years, im divorse, i met a married man that wanted to start a new life with me, he fall in love at the beginnig madly, i just wanted fun, it was very difficult since he said he will always loved me and keep saying it all the time. Finally i gave in and we started to look for another child ( he has two, i have one) we tried for two years with no luck, he never separated and finally came with the excuse that he loved more his daughters than me and was not going to separate, but that he was always going to love me. That hurt me a lot and decided to leave him During the realtionship i was always saying that what we had was just one of those lust things and i did not believe he ever loved me. I continued with my life and after a year an a half that we broke up, i still love him very much and like a month ago, i spoke to him to see how he was doing since i learned he was separating and he said again he will always love me but that he did not wanted to have any contact with me. He is finally separating but he does not want to talk me. I know he is hurt with his first decisiton and that a separation is difficult but do not understand why he is saying that he will always love me. He is a good person and very responsible man but i feel he is suffering very much and do not know how to approach to him. I believe we never truly had the chance to be together the correct way and will love to have that chance. How in the world you do that? i have tried forgeting him but he always comes back to my mind. I will love to keep at least his friendship so that i do not lose him as the very valuable person he is to me.
I understand that this is really painful for you, and I am sorry to hear it.
And I’m trying to not to sound hurtful when I say this, but, I have to tell you the truth about what I’m thinking:
1. Often we find that the more adamant someone is in insisting something is true – it’s because it isn’t. This COULD be the case with him continually telling you how much he loves you. If it were true, he’d have left his wife.
2. I’m not sure if I am understanding you correctly on the child, but my advice is to never try to have a child with a man who doesn’t commit to you with a ring and a commitment. That’s not only better for the child, it’s better for you and even better for him.
3. Going back to #1, if he really loved you and he is now separated but doesn’t want to see you, I fear he was only with you for the fun – same as you (at the beginning) – only he is not honest enough to admit it (or maybe doesn’t want to hurt your feelings – and admit to the previous lies). It certainly seems he doesn’t appreciate what he has in you.
Please remember, I don’t know all of the story so I could be very wrong, but that’s my impression after reading your comment.
Hope that helps.
Hi My relationship with my bf happened so fast where been together just a few months when I got preggo.After I find out I was preggo he was in denial.I was so depressed but We were able to work it out foruntil my baby turn two months.he left me and saying that he doesn’t love me anymore and he wants mme to moveon.I was mad,devastated and depressed.I beg him to stay and try to work it out out for d baby.but he was so selfish that he only think of himself.Now his looking for a place for means the baby to stay.I atold him Im willing to change everything just to work things out.I love him somuch.hopefully you can help.me on what should I do
Would you like me to reply here or by email?
hi im having a hard time with my boyfriend’s cold treatment to me. it almost make me want to give up. we had been to a terrible breakup and i ask him back. he agreed to try to work things out between us, but he’s so cold and it really hurts me. what’s the right thing to do? i need help. thanks.
I think you might be answering your own question.
If he is cold toward you – and naturally that hurts, it would hurt anyone – why did you ask him back?
People can – and sometimes do – change, but consider how much better it would be to be with someone who loves and appreciates you.
Best,
Will
Hi,
Please help. Me and my boyfriend of close to 3 years are having the ‘time out’ period.
I do not want to give up on this r/s at all. What should I do? He’s going out with his buddies more often, going places as and when he likes. What should I do? He claims he still loves me but I just don’t feel it. Please email me.
Vanese,
I just sent you an email.
Best,
Will
Hi,
I could really use some objective advice on this one. I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 11 years now. We don’t live together, but I would say we have a pretty loving, stable, fun relationship. My problem is, that about 3 weeks ago, seemingly out of the blue he said those dreaded words: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” He said he doesn’t know what’s going on, but doesn’t want to break-up with me, because there’s still some love. I’m sure no third party is involved. What is interesting is, when this happened, he started a another job, and he’s always exhausted, could there be a connection? At first, I tried to be nice, cool, about
it, hoping to see some improvement. I try not to nag him about it, but when I asked a few times, he said there’s no improvement, and he doesn’t know what will happen. By the way, the same thing has happened about 3 years ago, and his love returned. Although then I think he loved me a bit more. Could you please give me advice? Is there hope? What should I do? Thanks!
Olivia,
Yes, stress can certainly be a factor, but if so, then he needs help to realize that he is not living in a bubble, his life is interconnected with others.
I just posted a new article, in part because of your comment:
http://relationshipadvicehelp.com/blog/how-long-should-i-be-in-a-relationship-before-i-either-marry-or-end-it/
Understand, the article is based on lots of questions over the years, but parts might be helpful for you – I hope!
Let me know,
Will
Someone please help me…im in serious need of help with my live in fiance…. i dont want our love to faid..please someone with a serious deaire to help someone in need email me
Sent you an email
My boyfriend and I juat recently broke up. I am almost 9 months pregnant with his child. He says I try to control him and that he wants nothing to do with me anymore, but loves his child. He has been hot and cold my whole pregnancy, the littlest things make him mad and he will fly off the deep end. I love him not just because he is the father of my child but because I truly care. Im starting to think it is hopeless. What do I do to make him love me again…please email me.
I am not really sure where to start and I am afraid it might be too late on both accounts. I am 27 years old and have been married twice and I am currently going through my second divorce. My first husband and I married when I was just 18 and he was 24. We have two children together, but they don’t live with us. We had sort of a “falling out” in our marriage. We seemed to have fallen out of love with each other and thus we began to see other people. I started to date this guy that I knew from the past and we became inseparable. My husband and I divorced and about 2 years later I married my second husband (soon-to-be ex-husband). Things were going great in the beginning just like my first marriage and then I started to feel like I was being loved or appreciated anymore. We tried many times to make it work and even went through counseling, but nothing was successful. I still love him but he told me that he no longer loves me. We have been separated for over four months. I am back together with my first husband and I currently live with him, however I can’t seem to let go of my second husband. First husband and I dated 3 months and we were married for 5 years, second husband I dated for 3 years and were married 1 and 3 months. I love them both. The first one cheated on me and we couldn’t trust each other. The second one I cheated onhim and he cheated on me to get even. The first one and I have re-established that trust, but the second one says he will never trust me again. I don’t really know what to do. I have seen or spoken to the second one in over four months and I have tomeet wit him on Wednesday. I need your help. Please email me. I will give you more information if needed.
I’ll send you an email.
thanks,
Will
I sent you an email.
Best,
Will
I been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, he always been good to me and to my to kids from previous marriage. He has a facebook account that I don’t have access to see and I start noticing that he was adding a lot of girls, I ask him why he was adding girls that he didnt even know and he never had and answer and block me at the begging of the relationship I ask him to add me to his friend and he play crazy never add me. Now 3 weeks ago we have and argument cuz I told him why he had his ex fiancé on his friend he got really upset and stop taking to me for few days then one they we talk and he told me that he was tired that he love me but that he was confused that sometime he feels like wants to leave the house it’s been three weeks and we talk but it’s more like roomates , I ask him if he wants to leave he told me no, but that now he don’t know what he wants he acts really tours me and the kids, I love him so much and his a good guy just lately it’s been getting a lot of call from his old buddies to go out, so he told me he don’t want lose his friend, I’m so confused and scare to lose him how can I fix this.
Elizabeth,
You can “fix” it by just accepting him as he is and letting him use you… but I do NOT recommend that for your sake.
A good, long term relationship is built on trust, not secrets and suspicion.
He doesn’t want to leave you because he is getting what he wants and has not found anything better..yet.
I know this sounds hard and is not what you want to hear, but you need a good man who you love and can trust AND who will love you and not give you ample reason for continuous suspicion.
Look at it the other way around:
You have obviously committed to him, but it doesn’t sound like he has committed to you. I’m curious if you are concerned that if you lose him you won’t find someone else? (This is very common, especially since you already had children).
The truth is likely that you deserve someone better than you think you do.
Think about all of this and let me know.
Best,
Will
My BF of 2 yrs told me he loves me but is not in love with me. We have a four month old together as well as a blended family. I know i havent appreciated him enough and ive been working on that. he says he wants to be friends (work on being friends) for our kids sake and to see where it goes. He works with a girl he says hes attracted to (which makes me so jealous) and i knew men like confience but its hard to stay positive when u know there is another woman. we are currently living together and looks like we are going to be for atleast a couple more months. I want him to stay. I love this man with all my heart and dont wanna lose him! Please help me … email please
My boyfriend and I have hit a rough patch in our relationship. He questions my love for him and talks about how he misses the feeling of being in love. How can I give him that feeling again and show him how in love I am with him at the same time?
Hello anyone that could help it would be great. I have been married for almost 10 years. We have to little boys and he said that he has always cared and still loves me but isn’t in love with me any more, due to finding a very young 27 year old lady with no kids part time job. He just turned 40. Everyone tells me its a midlife thing that all guys do. So he moved out into this young lady’s house, that we rent to her. He comes up every night to help with the kids and anything that needs done around the house. He’s always texting her. He just bought a house 3 houses down from are home now. He tells me he still cares so much about are family but just isn’t in love with me. I have asked him to pack somethings and give us (kids n I) space and he tells me he can’t. I find him still looking at me the same way he always has. This has been going on for 3 months and we r lost with out him. If anyone has any ideas to help with feeling of lost love. That would be great.
Hi,
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have a one year old son together. When our relationship began, it was very passionate, we fell very deeply in love, very quickly. For about the last year, I have felt like he has been drifting away. He still tells me he loves me, but I dont feel it, well, as much. I don’t feel wanted or needed. When I talk to him or ask him simple questions, the way he looks at me and answeres me, it makes me feel like he is annoyed. He works a terrible shift at work, so he isn’t home much, and when he isn’t working, he is out with his friends. I have tried everything i could think of, from letting him do whatever he wants, trying not to care, to trying to spice things up with sexy outfits, or sending him sexy pictures and messages through out the day, to leaving him sweet notes in his lunch just telling him how much I love him.
I have found inappropriate pictures from women other than me. When I confronted him about them, he blew it off and blamed me for snooping. I can’t get thoses images out of my head.
He told me he would never do anything to hurt or break up our family.
I feel torn. I love him so much, and want our relationship to work, but I don’t want to fight for something that he doesn’t want to be a part of. Any advice would be helpful! please e-mail
Hi
We’ve been together nearly three years it was very intense and the beginning and we’ve had a couple of rough patches but we always work it out. This time it feels different, he wont talk to me we’re still living together but I’m sleeping in the spare room. He tells me he loves me but he’s unhappy and he thinks I’m unhappy in the relationship too. I’ve suffered with bouts of depression since I was a teenager and have an under active thyroid which means I’m prone to it. When I’m sad I can’t explain to him why and he doesnt understand depression at all. I push people away and shut them out, this is what i’ve done to him. He’s also coping with an elderly mother in the throws of dementia, I think perhaps one crazy person is all he can handle.
I’ve kept people at a distance since my father died when I was a teenager, he’s the first person I ever let in my first love at the age of 29.
He’s struggling, I see the signs of depression in him I really want to help him but now he’s shutting me out completely.
He’s said he wants a break for a couple of months and then we’ll see what happens with our relationship – I think he’s already made up his mind. Yes, i’m heart broken I cry eveytime he talks about a future without me – but he said whatever happens he always wants me in his life.
I know I need to be strong for him and accept what he decides but it’s just so hard.
He say’s we havent had a proper relationship for ages, our sex life has been almost non-exsistant because of the way I feel again i pushed him away.
I feel like i’ve created this, that I’ve made this happen and i’ve got no idea haow to fix it. He knows I love him deeply but I just dont know if thats enough
any thoughts would be appriciated, I look forward to an email.
thanks
I really need advice
I really need advice
Please email !
I need help with my boyfriend. I am pregnant and before i told him that, he told me he wanted to break up and now the only reason he is stay is because he wants to do “the right thing” but i dont want him to stay just because of that i want him to love me like he used to
I really could use some advice. My situation is similar to many of the above posts. My husband is so stressed and overwhelmed by life and work and financial responsibilities that he is just miserable. He says he still loves me but he just doesn’t know what to do anymore. We have been together for 11 years and married for 6 1/2. We have two small children together. We have been having issues for a long time now. He ran into a young lady about a year ago whom he knew when we first met. They became friends as she wanted him to help her work on her image, ( he was a make-up artist for may years). She has feelings for him and he doesn’t understand why their relationship is inappropriate. They used to flirt alot until I told him how much it hurt me. Now he says he likes her a little but he doesn’t know what he wants. He feels like he is trapped and unhappy and does not know how to feel happy again. He says he does not want to leave me for her and he really does just want to be friends with her but I just can’t handle that when I know it goes deeper. He thinks he might want to try being separated for a while and see what happens. Is there any hope that he will come back to me and want me to be the one to make him happy? I of course love my husband dearly and I have made my share of mistakes in our relationship like neglecting him. Please help, any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am stay at home mom who has not worked in 7 years and don’t know how I would take care of our children, one of whom has epilepsy. PLease help.
My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me claiming he doesn’t love me anymore, but we used to have the most intense relationship (with many ups and downs) since we first met, and we used to be deeply in love with one another. I love him still very much and can’t bear the thought of him never feeling love for me again or never wanting me back again. I haven’t spoken to him in 3 weeks, don’t know what to do, and as i said i don’t want to accept that the love is actually lost. what can i do? You many email me, thank you
Hi I am having some issues. If you could please email me that would be awesome. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I have Bern searching the internet for months trying to figure out what I can do to save my marriage. I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore and initially it was my fault. I have genuinely changed but he doesn’t seem to care. I really need help. We have been together 11 years and have 2 children. He shows no interest in saving our marriage but turned around when going to get the papers. I left and he asked me to come home. This makes me believe that he still wants to be married but has some doubts. Please help me.
I would agree, it’s not good long term to have him stay just because he feels he has to. That will lead to resentment, among other problems.
Years ago a priest made the statement, “Don’t make one mistake just because of another”.
Not knowing more about your circumstances all I can do is ask what has changed since he loved you before, and did he really love you before.. or was it just physical attraction? Love that is fleeting may have never been love.
Try going back in your mind and seeing why he fell in love with you to begin with and whether there is something you can do to return to those circumstances.
Feel free to contact us with more details and we will try to help further.
You are right that his relationship with this other woman is inappropriate.
An analogy that a man might understand:
Suppose you own a new Mustang GT, paid for. Likely you will be VERY happy. That is, until you start stopping by the Corvette, Camero or Lamborghini dealerships. Even though your Mustang is incredible, the grass is always greener, as they say, and nothing has the appeal of something (or someone) new.. until they aren’t new any longer either.
While I can only imagine your daily workload taking care of your children, try to always reserve time for your husband..just as he should reserve time for you.
What you can perhaps do is just simple acts of kindness toward him. Maybe make food he likes (or a treat like cookies). Fathers often find that they end up eating (or not eating) what their kids like (strange flavored ice cream instead of Rocky Road or whatever). They find ‘their’ stuff pushed to the back of the refrigerator.
Maybe the wife throws out his favorite recliner because it doesn’t “go with” the new furniture she wanted.
An overstressed husband can really appreciate a neck rub or other acknowledgement by his wife that his life is rough too. Some women think the man has it made because he gets to leave the problems of home and the kids every day go off to that fun office or work place. Again, the grass is always greener.
If you start doing the things you should do as a wife, you might find that eventually he starts doing what he should do as a husband. (Why Should I Be The First To Change is a good book)
Being separated is probably a bad idea, as you already know.
The best thing I can think of is to treat him the way you want to be treated, be patient – never nag (even if he deserves it) and do your best to let your love for him show through.
Hope this helps, contact us if we can help more.
If you want to provide some more specifics, please use our contact page and we can email back to you if you like.
Yes, it does seem that he may still want to save your marriage; let’s hope so.
Getting a spouse to forgive your mistakes or past transgressions can be very hard, it may be asking to rebuild trust, depending on the circumstances.
Show your love in simple, every day ways and do not smother him.
Let us know how we can help.