She is not worth that!

Your are worth more than you realize and it sounds as if she is not worth you.

She broke up with a text and Facebook. Yes, today is a different generation. But someone you love? Please!

She’s in love with Facebook, look for someone who is in love with YOU.

Please get help – you are worth it.

Will

I met the love of my life at 14 and now we have two children together 3 and 2. Family is the most important thing to me, but I lost my way more then once. The only thing is I never stopped loving her. She always came first in my heart and more then once when decision time came… I always choose her. Because deep down she was always the other half of me that made me whole. But I messed up big time this past December when we got into an argument over a very stupid thing omission of the truth. It was past midnight and we started arguing and I finally walked out on her. I didn’t come back after that and I’ve since moved out. The part that hurts though is I finally crossed that line, but now more than ever I regret every second of it. I started missing her after a few weeks and started to in my own way try and repair our relationship, but I got angry when I learned she had started to see a “friend” of hers. I stormed out and didn’t look back, but I think that was my last shot with her. Nowadays we’ve been fighting more and more over the children and other things, but all the while we fight I still love her. Deep down I’m killing myself slowly cause she’s all I think about. She’s now dating her friend and I actually tried to move on with my own life and started dating another girl, but every time I’m with my current girlfriend she’ll do something that just sparks a memory of my old Fiance and I get depressed all over again.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I know I’m not being faithful to my current girlfriend when all I do when she touches me is close my eyes and imagine my old Fiance, But I can’t keep killing myself when my old Fiance doesn’t want me anymore after everything we’ve been through. I honestly can’t love and give myself to another girl the way I love her. What should I do? Do I even deserve another chance after so many?

You don’t want to have to get between a girl and her mother. Not only is it a bad time for you, it’s hard to win in the long run.

And often: The girl becomes like her mother. Not her fault, it’s just in her genes.

Hope that helps.

Will

Her mother had shouted a lot at me even after i spoke to her last year and when i confronted my girl she said her mom will take time.,.. but i said i cant move on coz i have no security or guarantee from her side coz i don wanna see her go away with someone else at the end of the day.. but my gal kept crying and begging me not to leave her..

about 3 months back i even quit my job coz i was not able to concentrate coz of all the stress.. my parents are ok with her and even they are waiting for an answer. she had promised me that she wouldn join any job until she convinces things with her mom and recently she she just broke her words and joined for a job..even before i could start searching for one. and she is saying she had to do this coz she has loads of pressures at home.. but i feel she has changed a lot.. she wants me to be ok with her if she keeps in touch with anyone.. but i have to keep away from certain girls.. she is not able to give me proper time also and i feel so alone.,. i dont wanna cheat on her so i am not going behind any other gal! My health has GONE down ALSO A LOT..

i dont live in the same state as her.. i dunno if i should look for a job where i am comfortable or should i take the risk to going to her state.. what if at the end anyways her mom wont agree.what if she wont be able to give me time coz of her job coz i cant force her to go against her mom coz her mom is a widow also,when i ask her an answer she is like her answer is she wants me but she cant do anything coz of her mom and is waiting ..nor will her church allow for me… but at the same time she needs me.. i am so confused… i feel i am clingy but i dont wanna lose her coz this is not her,, she wasnt like this.. and she has no other guy also.

BADLY NEED SOME ADVICE!

She loves someone else but is chatting with and meeting you? Is she a liar, 2-timer or what?

She is cheating on the guy she is with now and thinks nothing of it. That means she will cheat on you too.

Even if you are her “friend” her relationship with you is inappropriate. A girl making “friends” with other guys besides her lover is just a path to eventual breakup; she needs to break up with the other guy before making new guy friends via facebook or anything else.

Who knows, this could even be a setup of some type.

Think carefully before getting involved with a woman who is willing to treat a guy the way she is treating her current boyfriend.

Probably not what you WANTED to hear, but please consider it.

Best,
Will

The concern is that she already in a relationship with a guy who is 3yr elder than her. They both love each other ( as she says to me). Also, she keeps on messaging me what I have been doing, what I ate , where I am and also what she is doing, what she is eating and all that.
We have met twice and she wants to meet again (just after two days).
Does she loves me or just sees me as her friend??

Wow, I can really feel your pain. This is a tough one.

By now you probably know that the pleading and begging was not the right approach, so just leave it at that and don’t pursue that avenue again.

The neglect part I would need to know more about, but I’ll comment based on what I do see here.

MLM’s are funny beasts; some people do excel there and make a lot of money, or just enjoy being around it.

The “meetings” can be like legal “drugs”; quit going and the effect wears off; i.e., the confidence is not necessarily permanent.

Maybe you neglected her, maybe she said something back when there was time to fix it or maybe not. But lying to you is not a mature or honorable response. And yes, kids are a responsibility she signed up for and cannot expect to just walk away from it.

For now I fear the best you can do is to act as you wish you had all along:

1) be a responsible father
2) treat your wife respectfully and lovingly, but don’t “push” her to show love in return.
3) be honest with her even if she is not honest with you
4) improve yourself anyway you can (gym, grooming, dress, job)

Since you read the Magic of Making Up, did you try the Clean Slate Method at all?

Trust is something that takes a long time to build up but can be lost in a second. She has lost your trust and needs to earn it back. Not too much you can do about that, it’s up to her.

But you can continue to be the trustworthy husband and by example showing her what a spouse should be doing and acting like.

Hope this helps some. Please write back if you can.

best,
Will

Distance relationships are tough, and based on what little information I have here there is no way I can really make a sound suggestion.

If she has broken up that many times, I wonder why she is giving it another chance at all; then to allow “2 weeks” is pretty unrealistic.

Evaluate whether or not there is something in this girl that really makes her “the one” and worth you pursuing.

If there are really good reasons why she broke up with you that many times, then it’s time for some self-evaluation on your part.

With more info I will try to help further, but that’s about all I can really say at this point.

Best,
Will