Many guys have lost a wife or girlfriends love, maybe even break up or divorce, yet still have strong feelings for her. They want desperately to know how to make her fall in love with me again. If she has not left yet, they want to prevent it; get her back if she has.
So if you are in that category you are not alone. There is help and it can be possible to get her back or keep her from leaving you. The question is how committed are you to doing that?
Anytime we are in a situation where emotions run high we risk making hasty and not so well thought out decisions. Sometimes it is best to be able to step away from the situation, avoid any rash or angry behavior and just let the situation cool off.
That could mean that stepping away from the situation for a while is called for. If you are married that may be less appropriate, but you do need to make sure you do not act inappropriately or in any way even lose dignity over the situation.
No matter how she may be acting, you want to make sure that you are not doing something that will count against you and reduce your chance to make her fall in love with you again. Women do not want to be attached to a loser and you certainly do not want to end up before a judge over your actions.
How to Make Her Fall In Love With Me Again
What happened in the relationship, do you know why she no longer loves you? Perhaps she told you or gave you a clue; many women will not.
But as you know people tend to get bored with something, even something terrific, after a period of time. Just watch kids with toys after Christmas; what the child cannot put down on Christmas day might be forgotten in a closet by Spring.
Or even that adorable puppy that brings initial excitement. After a few months of taking care of it the puppy is not near so fawned over as when it first came into the house.
That happens with relationships, too. That does not mean we need to change out partners, it just means that the relationship moves to a different level. Unfortunately, that level often brings with it a tendency to take each other for granted and not show some of the common courtesies that we did when first dating.
Do not think of yourself as a victim, nor as a loser just because she does not seem to love you currently. On the contrary, continue to take care of yourself: workout, eat right, get enough sleep, hang out with friends that will cheer you up.
Try to get up each morning and think about positive things that will make you smile, put you in a good mood and make people want to be around you. Avoid moping and complaining, that gets old quick, friends will abandon you and strangers shun you.
You do not want your wife or girlfriend thinking you are just waiting around for them; you are not. You want to make them love you again and sometimes people want what they cannot have – or in this case, what is not immediately available to them.
Any time your paths cross, be sincere with a smile and be polite. You do not need to bring up the relationship right away, that can come later. Let’s get her to like you again first. If you are married and living together, make sure you not only do your household chores – the right way! – but see if you can help her out too.
Think back about the things you did and talked about when you were dating and what you were like then. I know life might suck now with the job, bills and problems with the kids perhaps, but concentrate on your blessings, however corny that might sound it really does work.
Turn your thinking around and think about others. Most people really feel best when concentrating on helping others instead of their own problems. Eliminate any time wasters in your life and put the time to more productive use. Maybe that means turning off the TV and playing basketball with the kids.
We are doing two important things here:
- We are getting you out of a depression “hole” if you are in one
- By focusing on others we are keeping you out of that “hole”
Consider this for a minute. Who do you know in life that is:
- Clean and well kept
- Always ready with a smile
- Always helping others
- Never moping or complaining
- Spends time with their kids, if they have them
Anyone come to mind? Chances are, they are a popular person. And probably popular with the opposite sex too, regardless of how good looking they are.
Now if you work toward that, and you are a happier person because of it, isn’t it worth the extra effort?
How about your girlfriend or wife, how will she view you? Will you still be coming here looking for answers on “how to make her fall in love with me again”? Probably not (but you are welcome here anyway!).
This is not the whole story, it is really just a primer to get you started.
If you are really serious about finding out “how to make her fall in love with me again“, then I highly recommend you take a look at a great resource. It’s called the Magic of Making Up and it has now sold over 50,000 copies.
It can change your life, save your marriage or get your girlfriend back. I highly recommend it.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
My girlfriend of 17 years told me 2 months ago that she didn’t think she wanted to be with me anymore. We’ve had our problems in the past, but not as much since we had 2 kids together, the youngest being 8 months. I took the news very hard, not eating for a week after she told me and have fallen into some depression. I did the begging and asking to stay together, not only for me, but for our children and because I still love her deeply. I feel so alone and it is hard to get through each day. She has asked me to move out, but I said that I could not, that I wanted to be able to be with my children as much as I can, so I have been living downstairs, her upstairs, our 4 year old son sleeps with me, our 8 month old daughter with her. We’ve had some arguments that I try to avoid at all cost, have been doing the majority of the housework, watching the kids while she has been going out at night. I want to do everything/anything I can to be with her again, I worry for her because it seems at times she would rather be out than with her children. Please help me.
I really feel for you, friend, you are in a tough spot. I am so glad to hear that you still love her after all this time and want to be with your children. Keep in mind, that anything I say comes from a distance and don’t – and won’t – know every detail.
But it kind of sounds like she needs some space. So far it sounds like you are doing some of the right things, except for the begging. Make sure that you don’t make her feel pressured to love you or stay around; hopefully she will make those choices herself.
Has she been under any kind of extreme pressure lately, something that maybe did not used to be present in her life? There is also the possibility of postpartum depression on her part. A new baby in the house is certainly lots of stress (joy too!) all on its own. These can be trying times.
What other people are influencing her right now, if any? Friends, her side of the family?
I have quite a few posts on this site that might help you, also lots of articles I have written for other online directories. Let me know if any of this helps, answer the questions if you can (no names or anything here – anyone can read this), and I will certainly help if I can.
My girlfriend of ten months left me, saying I wasn’t giving her enough attention and care and now she’s met another guy who can give her those. I’ve been through the begging period, and now we’re just typical friends but I still love her a lot and I want to try to get her back. I’m willing to give her space, and yet she still brings me into things in her life e.g. she wants to write together with me for competitions, what does this mean? Does it mean she has lost all feelings for me, or is it a hint for a second chance? I’m not doing anything now as she likes another guy, but I’m rather confused too.
Mark, my wife of 10 years did the same thing to me last month. We have a 9 y.o, 5 y.o and a 8 month old. For about 2 months prior to “the talk” she was blaming me for everything that had gone wrong in our relationship, going back 10 years and more. On fathers day of this year, she told me she wasnt happy, saw me as a roomate, didnt love me the way she used to and wanted me to move out. I had to move out because we rent from her dad. I keep asking her to talk to me and she just keeps telling me she needs space and time to herself or “not yet” or “not right now”. She says there is no other guy or that she is looking, and I believe her. I feel she is getting a lot of influence from her stepmom. Im losing my mind because I had no idea what happened. One minute shes happy and nice to me and the next she is cold and short. I wish there was an easy fix, but I am having a very hard time. I cry at night and constantly shake. I went to the doc and he put me on anxiety pills, which seem to help but I dont want to take them. Im going to try a send card just to say hi. I’d asked her out on dates, but she blows it off. I’m afraid to push in fear she will run away. Everybody I’ve talked to tells me to get an attorney and file for divorce, but after 10 years, I see her as my other half, my best friend and my love. I cant throw in the towel. So I just plan on being friendly, as much as it hurts cause i just want to hug her, and take things minute by minute. IF in the end she decides she wants a divorce, then I know I’ve tried everything. Hang tough bro!
Orroyo,
That attention thing is a biggie. Heard it before many times. BTW, the “begging” was a mistake, nothing you can do about that now but just remember for the future.
The thing is, that she won’t figure out for a while, is that the “new” guy will stop doing all those nice things over time, too. It really takes work in a relationship to keep up that attention level when there are so many other things in life demanding our time and energy – work, home repairs, kids, etc.
If she wants to write with you then that could be a hint of a second chance. Pursue that, but at some point perhaps you can explain to her that you love her too much to just be friends and that being around her for the writing will be hard for you to focus. See how she responds. Women (usually) want men to share their feelings, well, there you have it – and see how she responds to that.
On the other hand, make sure she’s not requiring TOO much… a “needy” person is one you can never make happy. Need is like a drug, you have to keep increasing the “fix” in order to make a difference. It soon becomes more than any man could ever provide.
Hope that helps.
Will
Randy,
Thanks for sharing your situation.
I see you have an 8 month old; could there be any post-partum issues going on with your wife? If so, it’s not you. You still suffer, but perhaps that’s another angle to pursue – if she needs help, try to get it for her (not easy, I know, she has to recognize the situation).
I wouldn’t jump to divorce, either, especially since that’s always really hard on the kids. Mood swings are really tough to deal with and that’s one reason I’m wondering about the postpartum possibility.
Do continue to give her some space; make sure you offer to help with the kids and lighten that load for her. That “should” gain you some points over time, but that’s not the only reason you do it. They are your kids, so that’s your responsibility – AND – it gives you more time with your kids.
But it also gives you a chance to get in there frequently, and avoid an excuse for her to have step mom help out, or be around, or be another thing for her to complain about to step mom.
Hope that helps, my best to you.
Will
I feel for you. I’m going through a similar problem, except I know I was the reason we are on the brink. I have two kids and one step daughter. For years I’ve treated my wife’s daughter with disrespect. Now my wife resents me for it. For the past 6 months I’ve worked on fixing my relationship with my step daughter, and things are great. But according to my wife, it’s to late for us. She says she is not in love with me, the feelings are not there anymore. I refuse to accept this, and I am working on the assumption that she is really pissed at me and that is blocking her feelings. She has brought up things in the past that I have said and did that have crippled my marriage. Things between my step daughter and things I said and did with my wife. I look back and think “what an idiot I was”, but I accepted blame. I agreed with her because she was right. Moving forward, I have worked hard at giving her space to go out, time to relax, and made time for us ( dating ). I think everything can be saved. I just needed to realize what I did to push her away and accept it. I don’t know if we can bring our relationship from divource and looking at separate living arraignments, to love, but it is moving in the right direction. We’ve been on several dates and were intimate yesterday. So my advice is find out what went wrong, accept it, fix it and don’t give up. I am going to fight for my marriage and you should do the same. I forgot over time that the woman is the prize, so it’s worth fighting for. Good luck.
Dan,
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Sounds like you clearly “get it” and wish you the best in getting your “prize” back.
Will
So me and this girl have been friends for about two years and about 3 months ago she started to flirt with me. I liked her very much but I couldn’t tell her so I took the opportunity and started flirting with her. It progressed to where she would talk about how she wanted a nice guy and that maybe I could be that guy. I was ecstatic to know she really wanted to be with me so I asked her out. She said she would have to think about it. The next I woke to a friend telling me she was dating another guy. I was devastated. I rarely put my heart out (long story) so to know that she was just walking all over it by leading me on was just heart breaking. After about a month this guy dumped her and I was ready to be there for her because she is one of my best friends no matter what happens and she just didn’t seem like the same girl. We would text eachother and she would just stop responding. When we hung out we use to laugh and tell stories but now she just talks about day to day things (nothing personal). I see her hanging out with some of our mutual friends and I want to run over and have a good time but afraid that I will make it akward. Very briefly but sometimes she talks to me and she sounds like the girl I fell in love with. I really want her back in my life but I don’t know how. Please help me.
It’s really hard for me to know for sure, but it sounds like this girl is a user – and just an opportunity for you to get hurt.
Is it possible she knows she is not good enough for you? What was the other guy like who she dated?
Your situation reminds me of the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. Another guy has fun with her, you pick up the pieces. After she recovers, she goes back to him.
My advice is to be careful.
Best,
Will
Hey will…so my problem is that my girlfriend of almost 6 years just told me she doesn’t love me anymore…this happened not even two months after she had a misscarriege…we’ve talked it over and she’s willing to try to make it work but its been like a month and she says there’s no changes….I’ve been doing everything I can to be the best boyfriend for her and the best father for my 1 year old son…I love her so much that ever since she told me she didn’t love me I can’t sleep eat and all this thoughts go trough my head I just dnt know Wat I would do if I lost her….but I have hope that she will go back to being the loving gf I met in high school
my girlfriend and i have been dating for about 2 years know and every sense we moved in together everything is starting to fall apart and i try my best to stop the arguing but she always find something to be mad at me about i try to talk it out with her but she never listen or forgive if i was wrong i try my best to be the best boyfriend but she doesnt talk to me any more i love with all my heart i just wish she would open up with me and tell me how she feel some time and talk thing out without arguments
the girl i have been dating for the last year and a half recently decided to leave. but she didnt leave because she was unhappy she left because her parents do not approve, and she was forced to, she was forced too because as long as shes with me then she has no life, and i dont want her to be treated like that because of me but i need her to also tell me why she left and what her plans are, she has been talking to this other guy, is it because she has to prove it to her parents that shes not truly with me, because i know she loves me we have been fighting all of this for so long and we both have been so strong. all i want is to get her back to make her fall in love with me because shes all that truly makes me happy, i just need to know, i know she still loves me but will she come back will she realize that they are creating a fantasy and that it will soon fade into where she can see through the illusion? what can i do i am being friendly but i also tried to change her mind to show her that i will fight for her but i cant do that because it will push her away, so will being friendly make her see that i love her and will it change her mind ive tried making her laugh and she has seemed happy to talk to me, her mom told her that i left her a message and sounded excited is that a sign that she still loves me? do you think she will come back if i do everything right? what are more suggestions on how i can make her come back? i dont knw what to do im scared and lonely and anxious. she has no idea how much i love her and no matter what she will always be my true love and my first true love. i will always love her and i will never give up on trying to win her back. i just need help tell me what i need to do to make her come back.
I know little of your circumstances and really feel for you being in a one-sided love relationship.
One thing I have to throw out there, though, is: Is this really the person you want to spend your life with?
Maybe something in her life is causing her to act this way when ordinarily she wouldn’t. But from what you have said here the situation does not sound promising for your enduring happiness.
Do the parents not approve of you or not approve of her living with you?
A girl is going to want her parents approval in life, if she can get it. Living with their disapproval – even if she loves you – can be very tough long term.
We would need to know some more details of what is going on to really be too specific, feel free to use our contact page to get hold of us.