Many guys have lost a wife or girlfriends love, maybe even break up or divorce, yet still have strong feelings for her. They want desperately to know how to make her fall in love with me again. If she has not left yet, they want to prevent it; get her back if she has.
So if you are in that category you are not alone. There is help and it can be possible to get her back or keep her from leaving you. The question is how committed are you to doing that?
Anytime we are in a situation where emotions run high we risk making hasty and not so well thought out decisions. Sometimes it is best to be able to step away from the situation, avoid any rash or angry behavior and just let the situation cool off.
That could mean that stepping away from the situation for a while is called for. If you are married that may be less appropriate, but you do need to make sure you do not act inappropriately or in any way even lose dignity over the situation.
No matter how she may be acting, you want to make sure that you are not doing something that will count against you and reduce your chance to make her fall in love with you again. Women do not want to be attached to a loser and you certainly do not want to end up before a judge over your actions.
How to Make Her Fall In Love With Me Again
What happened in the relationship, do you know why she no longer loves you? Perhaps she told you or gave you a clue; many women will not.
But as you know people tend to get bored with something, even something terrific, after a period of time. Just watch kids with toys after Christmas; what the child cannot put down on Christmas day might be forgotten in a closet by Spring.
Or even that adorable puppy that brings initial excitement. After a few months of taking care of it the puppy is not near so fawned over as when it first came into the house.
That happens with relationships, too. That does not mean we need to change out partners, it just means that the relationship moves to a different level. Unfortunately, that level often brings with it a tendency to take each other for granted and not show some of the common courtesies that we did when first dating.
Do not think of yourself as a victim, nor as a loser just because she does not seem to love you currently. On the contrary, continue to take care of yourself: workout, eat right, get enough sleep, hang out with friends that will cheer you up.
Try to get up each morning and think about positive things that will make you smile, put you in a good mood and make people want to be around you. Avoid moping and complaining, that gets old quick, friends will abandon you and strangers shun you.
You do not want your wife or girlfriend thinking you are just waiting around for them; you are not. You want to make them love you again and sometimes people want what they cannot have – or in this case, what is not immediately available to them.
Any time your paths cross, be sincere with a smile and be polite. You do not need to bring up the relationship right away, that can come later. Let’s get her to like you again first. If you are married and living together, make sure you not only do your household chores – the right way! – but see if you can help her out too.
Think back about the things you did and talked about when you were dating and what you were like then. I know life might suck now with the job, bills and problems with the kids perhaps, but concentrate on your blessings, however corny that might sound it really does work.
Turn your thinking around and think about others. Most people really feel best when concentrating on helping others instead of their own problems. Eliminate any time wasters in your life and put the time to more productive use. Maybe that means turning off the TV and playing basketball with the kids.
We are doing two important things here:
- We are getting you out of a depression “hole” if you are in one
- By focusing on others we are keeping you out of that “hole”
Consider this for a minute. Who do you know in life that is:
- Clean and well kept
- Always ready with a smile
- Always helping others
- Never moping or complaining
- Spends time with their kids, if they have them
Anyone come to mind? Chances are, they are a popular person. And probably popular with the opposite sex too, regardless of how good looking they are.
Now if you work toward that, and you are a happier person because of it, isn’t it worth the extra effort?
How about your girlfriend or wife, how will she view you? Will you still be coming here looking for answers on “how to make her fall in love with me again”? Probably not (but you are welcome here anyway!).
This is not the whole story, it is really just a primer to get you started.
If you are really serious about finding out “how to make her fall in love with me again“, then I highly recommend you take a look at a great resource. It’s called the Magic of Making Up and it has now sold over 50,000 copies.
It can change your life, save your marriage or get your girlfriend back. I highly recommend it.
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
My girlfriend of 17 years told me 2 months ago that she didn’t think she wanted to be with me anymore. We’ve had our problems in the past, but not as much since we had 2 kids together, the youngest being 8 months. I took the news very hard, not eating for a week after she told me and have fallen into some depression. I did the begging and asking to stay together, not only for me, but for our children and because I still love her deeply. I feel so alone and it is hard to get through each day. She has asked me to move out, but I said that I could not, that I wanted to be able to be with my children as much as I can, so I have been living downstairs, her upstairs, our 4 year old son sleeps with me, our 8 month old daughter with her. We’ve had some arguments that I try to avoid at all cost, have been doing the majority of the housework, watching the kids while she has been going out at night. I want to do everything/anything I can to be with her again, I worry for her because it seems at times she would rather be out than with her children. Please help me.
I really feel for you, friend, you are in a tough spot. I am so glad to hear that you still love her after all this time and want to be with your children. Keep in mind, that anything I say comes from a distance and don’t – and won’t – know every detail.
But it kind of sounds like she needs some space. So far it sounds like you are doing some of the right things, except for the begging. Make sure that you don’t make her feel pressured to love you or stay around; hopefully she will make those choices herself.
Has she been under any kind of extreme pressure lately, something that maybe did not used to be present in her life? There is also the possibility of postpartum depression on her part. A new baby in the house is certainly lots of stress (joy too!) all on its own. These can be trying times.
What other people are influencing her right now, if any? Friends, her side of the family?
I have quite a few posts on this site that might help you, also lots of articles I have written for other online directories. Let me know if any of this helps, answer the questions if you can (no names or anything here – anyone can read this), and I will certainly help if I can.
My girlfriend of ten months left me, saying I wasn’t giving her enough attention and care and now she’s met another guy who can give her those. I’ve been through the begging period, and now we’re just typical friends but I still love her a lot and I want to try to get her back. I’m willing to give her space, and yet she still brings me into things in her life e.g. she wants to write together with me for competitions, what does this mean? Does it mean she has lost all feelings for me, or is it a hint for a second chance? I’m not doing anything now as she likes another guy, but I’m rather confused too.
Mark, my wife of 10 years did the same thing to me last month. We have a 9 y.o, 5 y.o and a 8 month old. For about 2 months prior to “the talk” she was blaming me for everything that had gone wrong in our relationship, going back 10 years and more. On fathers day of this year, she told me she wasnt happy, saw me as a roomate, didnt love me the way she used to and wanted me to move out. I had to move out because we rent from her dad. I keep asking her to talk to me and she just keeps telling me she needs space and time to herself or “not yet” or “not right now”. She says there is no other guy or that she is looking, and I believe her. I feel she is getting a lot of influence from her stepmom. Im losing my mind because I had no idea what happened. One minute shes happy and nice to me and the next she is cold and short. I wish there was an easy fix, but I am having a very hard time. I cry at night and constantly shake. I went to the doc and he put me on anxiety pills, which seem to help but I dont want to take them. Im going to try a send card just to say hi. I’d asked her out on dates, but she blows it off. I’m afraid to push in fear she will run away. Everybody I’ve talked to tells me to get an attorney and file for divorce, but after 10 years, I see her as my other half, my best friend and my love. I cant throw in the towel. So I just plan on being friendly, as much as it hurts cause i just want to hug her, and take things minute by minute. IF in the end she decides she wants a divorce, then I know I’ve tried everything. Hang tough bro!
Orroyo,
That attention thing is a biggie. Heard it before many times. BTW, the “begging” was a mistake, nothing you can do about that now but just remember for the future.
The thing is, that she won’t figure out for a while, is that the “new” guy will stop doing all those nice things over time, too. It really takes work in a relationship to keep up that attention level when there are so many other things in life demanding our time and energy – work, home repairs, kids, etc.
If she wants to write with you then that could be a hint of a second chance. Pursue that, but at some point perhaps you can explain to her that you love her too much to just be friends and that being around her for the writing will be hard for you to focus. See how she responds. Women (usually) want men to share their feelings, well, there you have it – and see how she responds to that.
On the other hand, make sure she’s not requiring TOO much… a “needy” person is one you can never make happy. Need is like a drug, you have to keep increasing the “fix” in order to make a difference. It soon becomes more than any man could ever provide.
Hope that helps.
Will
Randy,
Thanks for sharing your situation.
I see you have an 8 month old; could there be any post-partum issues going on with your wife? If so, it’s not you. You still suffer, but perhaps that’s another angle to pursue – if she needs help, try to get it for her (not easy, I know, she has to recognize the situation).
I wouldn’t jump to divorce, either, especially since that’s always really hard on the kids. Mood swings are really tough to deal with and that’s one reason I’m wondering about the postpartum possibility.
Do continue to give her some space; make sure you offer to help with the kids and lighten that load for her. That “should” gain you some points over time, but that’s not the only reason you do it. They are your kids, so that’s your responsibility – AND – it gives you more time with your kids.
But it also gives you a chance to get in there frequently, and avoid an excuse for her to have step mom help out, or be around, or be another thing for her to complain about to step mom.
Hope that helps, my best to you.
Will
I feel for you. I’m going through a similar problem, except I know I was the reason we are on the brink. I have two kids and one step daughter. For years I’ve treated my wife’s daughter with disrespect. Now my wife resents me for it. For the past 6 months I’ve worked on fixing my relationship with my step daughter, and things are great. But according to my wife, it’s to late for us. She says she is not in love with me, the feelings are not there anymore. I refuse to accept this, and I am working on the assumption that she is really pissed at me and that is blocking her feelings. She has brought up things in the past that I have said and did that have crippled my marriage. Things between my step daughter and things I said and did with my wife. I look back and think “what an idiot I was”, but I accepted blame. I agreed with her because she was right. Moving forward, I have worked hard at giving her space to go out, time to relax, and made time for us ( dating ). I think everything can be saved. I just needed to realize what I did to push her away and accept it. I don’t know if we can bring our relationship from divource and looking at separate living arraignments, to love, but it is moving in the right direction. We’ve been on several dates and were intimate yesterday. So my advice is find out what went wrong, accept it, fix it and don’t give up. I am going to fight for my marriage and you should do the same. I forgot over time that the woman is the prize, so it’s worth fighting for. Good luck.
Dan,
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Sounds like you clearly “get it” and wish you the best in getting your “prize” back.
Will
So me and this girl have been friends for about two years and about 3 months ago she started to flirt with me. I liked her very much but I couldn’t tell her so I took the opportunity and started flirting with her. It progressed to where she would talk about how she wanted a nice guy and that maybe I could be that guy. I was ecstatic to know she really wanted to be with me so I asked her out. She said she would have to think about it. The next I woke to a friend telling me she was dating another guy. I was devastated. I rarely put my heart out (long story) so to know that she was just walking all over it by leading me on was just heart breaking. After about a month this guy dumped her and I was ready to be there for her because she is one of my best friends no matter what happens and she just didn’t seem like the same girl. We would text eachother and she would just stop responding. When we hung out we use to laugh and tell stories but now she just talks about day to day things (nothing personal). I see her hanging out with some of our mutual friends and I want to run over and have a good time but afraid that I will make it akward. Very briefly but sometimes she talks to me and she sounds like the girl I fell in love with. I really want her back in my life but I don’t know how. Please help me.
It’s really hard for me to know for sure, but it sounds like this girl is a user – and just an opportunity for you to get hurt.
Is it possible she knows she is not good enough for you? What was the other guy like who she dated?
Your situation reminds me of the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. Another guy has fun with her, you pick up the pieces. After she recovers, she goes back to him.
My advice is to be careful.
Best,
Will
Hey will…so my problem is that my girlfriend of almost 6 years just told me she doesn’t love me anymore…this happened not even two months after she had a misscarriege…we’ve talked it over and she’s willing to try to make it work but its been like a month and she says there’s no changes….I’ve been doing everything I can to be the best boyfriend for her and the best father for my 1 year old son…I love her so much that ever since she told me she didn’t love me I can’t sleep eat and all this thoughts go trough my head I just dnt know Wat I would do if I lost her….but I have hope that she will go back to being the loving gf I met in high school
my girlfriend and i have been dating for about 2 years know and every sense we moved in together everything is starting to fall apart and i try my best to stop the arguing but she always find something to be mad at me about i try to talk it out with her but she never listen or forgive if i was wrong i try my best to be the best boyfriend but she doesnt talk to me any more i love with all my heart i just wish she would open up with me and tell me how she feel some time and talk thing out without arguments
the girl i have been dating for the last year and a half recently decided to leave. but she didnt leave because she was unhappy she left because her parents do not approve, and she was forced to, she was forced too because as long as shes with me then she has no life, and i dont want her to be treated like that because of me but i need her to also tell me why she left and what her plans are, she has been talking to this other guy, is it because she has to prove it to her parents that shes not truly with me, because i know she loves me we have been fighting all of this for so long and we both have been so strong. all i want is to get her back to make her fall in love with me because shes all that truly makes me happy, i just need to know, i know she still loves me but will she come back will she realize that they are creating a fantasy and that it will soon fade into where she can see through the illusion? what can i do i am being friendly but i also tried to change her mind to show her that i will fight for her but i cant do that because it will push her away, so will being friendly make her see that i love her and will it change her mind ive tried making her laugh and she has seemed happy to talk to me, her mom told her that i left her a message and sounded excited is that a sign that she still loves me? do you think she will come back if i do everything right? what are more suggestions on how i can make her come back? i dont knw what to do im scared and lonely and anxious. she has no idea how much i love her and no matter what she will always be my true love and my first true love. i will always love her and i will never give up on trying to win her back. i just need help tell me what i need to do to make her come back.
I know little of your circumstances and really feel for you being in a one-sided love relationship.
One thing I have to throw out there, though, is: Is this really the person you want to spend your life with?
Maybe something in her life is causing her to act this way when ordinarily she wouldn’t. But from what you have said here the situation does not sound promising for your enduring happiness.
Do the parents not approve of you or not approve of her living with you?
A girl is going to want her parents approval in life, if she can get it. Living with their disapproval – even if she loves you – can be very tough long term.
We would need to know some more details of what is going on to really be too specific, feel free to use our contact page to get hold of us.
I being in a complicated relationship for the last two and half years and now it seems to come to an end. We work together and since day one when we met for the first time the attraction was there for both of us. Our feelings growth in different ways. She fall in love and she wanted a relationship that I wanted but I was afraid of, so I kept pushing her on the brink of the relationship and made millions of mistakes hurting her in bad ways that I did not intend to, but I did. I did really messed up everything and made her feel unhappy and miserable. We were never totally honest to each other and I guess we let each other to second-guess what was going on within us. Late in the relationship she confessed to me that she was in love but these feelings were fading away because how I treated her. After that conversation everything went down in spiral and I could see who she is shutting down her heart to me in every single way. No matter what I say or what I do now, she is so resentful that she does not want to hear anything from me. She told me that the her feelings are gone and that she is not in love with me anymore and asked me to move on.
Well, here I am grieving like a teen and not accepting it and working on the assumption that she is blocking all her feelings. Every time I say or do something for her, she brings back the comparison of what I did not say or did not do in the past and how it was so hurtful for her. I know I was a total jerk not realizing what she means for me way before all this got out of hand. I accept all the blame for what happened and I have told her so, but it doesn’t fix the past, it doesn’t take away the pain I caused to her.
I think (wish) everything can be saved, but I am not so sure. I have mixed feelings on what to do next. I know for sure I have to give her time but I am really afraid that she is using that time to block her heart even more than it is today and I may end losing her forever. Other days I think I should be telling everyday how I feel about her and how important she is to me, but I am afraid that it will push her even further from me. So I guess I am in the predicament of how much it’s too much and how little it’s too little.
The only thing I know for sure is that she is important to me, I love her and I want her back, I don’t want to lose her and I want to fight for her but don’t know how without making things worst…any help????
my ex girlfriend broke with me i did all the begging and making excuses up for why i did what i did to her. I was being to clingy and jelous of her being with other lads and talking to other lads. I made alot of mistakes but now she has another boyfriend literally a day after breaking up with me and she says she has moved on and does not love me anymore. I said to her that i am happy that she has found someone but deep down i really love her still and want her back in my life. I have not talked to her since she said she has another boyfriend its being 2month since she has being going out with him so i don’t know if i will ever get her back or not because she seems to be happier with him than she was with me. I don’t know how to get her to come back to me if there is even a slim chance i have tried moving on but everything i do just reminds me of her even now after a month of no contact. I know people say time is a healer but i don’t believe i will ever forget this girl i fell for her the moment i laid eyes on her and she did with me but i think i have lost her for good after making the mistakes i did.
You are worse than square one. Rebuilding trust takes longer than initial trust building.
Give her time and space, occasionally send her a card or some simple way of telling her that you are thinking of her.
If you seriously want her back, you might consider getting the Magic of Making Up, studying it, and carefully applying what is suggested.
If she left you that easily and found someone else that quickly then her feelings for you were probably not that deep.
Give her space, treat her as you SHOULD when you do see her, let her know she still matters to you.
Do NOT crowd her or show jealousy; make every attempt to BETTER yourself in this time alone. Maybe by working on your body, your mind, your job… Make YOU a better YOU. Later on she may notice, but if she doesn’t, chances are someone ELSE will!
Me and my wife have been together for 7 years we have a 15 year old son which is my stepson, and of mines a 6 year old and 1.. I always have this problem that always make a big deal when she wants to go out clubbing one or twice a months with her friends and sometimes we go together as well I have not problem going clubbing with her.. For some reason maybe I feel weird that she might find somebody else in the club. That went for a while and she got tired of that situation so now she have tell me that she didn’t love me anymore because of all this big deal and arguments of she going out with friends to have her alone time. Now I’m working on making her love me again but it doesn’t seem like is working she really wants to be with me I even told her that I was really sorry and that I realize how stupid was me making a big deal of her going clubbing and that I will change that. She tells me that she needs her space as well as I do too. We do house duties together if she doesn’t cook I’ll cook etc… Now she have this thing that she will spend most of the day texting, facebook etc and I told that’s not going to make anything better specially we having kids they need us.. I really want her to focus on us to save our marriage..
i hav problem nd i need solution.. plzz help..
i hav a bst friend he is ma bstfrnd since 2 years.. nd i liked him since d begining.. nd i dint realise dat he loved me too.. he was the best person eva to me dat tym… den later i thot he doesnt love me coz i wasnt aware it.. than his frnd started liking me nd i went dated with him.. without realising dat ma bst frnd loved me and was upset… atlast i broke up with da guy whom i was dating coz i realised dat i love ma best frnd… nw dat i hav realised i hav been waiting for ma bstie from 13 months.. nd i sumhow managed to tell him dat i love him .. but he is angry with me coz i went out with his friend.. nd wenever i ask abt love he tells me a lie saying dat he has a gulfriend. but actually he is single.. i trully love him… nd i need advice pllz do help… i litrally cry thinking abt ma best friend nd ma friendship.. which was just a special thing to me.. all d tym we spent with each other was special.. i really cant live adae without speaking txting nd calling him.. he loves me but he cant tell me… nd he is very angry with me but he doesnt show.i want ma best friend to love me nd propose me… wat shpuld i do ? plzzz help:(
My girlfriend of the past 3 yrs has. Broken up with me numerous times over our relationship! When she does she starts talking to all her x’s again an cont to talk to me an have sex with me. She tells me i dont give her enough attention an dont text her back fast enough thats y she talks to her guy friends an x’s!!! I broke it off over a yr ago told her i can’t be in competion with her x’s an guy friends anymore! A week goes by an shes begging me back! An told me she would cut the guys out of her life!!! 4 months ago i found out she lied to me an never broke the comunication with them so i broke it off again she promised me again it would stop!! I gave her another chance!!! She has broken it off with me an got back with 20 times in 3 years!! An has done it again today said she wants to see other people tht we just wont work!!! We have a 9 month daughter together as well. I love her with all my heart an soul an want us to work!!! Sometimes its great i just cant handle the late night flirting with the other guys how do i make it stop is it possible to make her feel im the only one for her an make her see how much im their for her!!! Or am i hanging on to a bad egg!!!
Skip,
I’m sure this girl has some positive qualities, but; what draws you to a person who:
I’m sorry to hear you have a baby together because it makes this all the harder for you and for me to write this to you. (And why we really recommend having children only for couples committed to each other enough to say “I do” in front of witnesses.)
I cringe in saying this, but from what you have said I must ask: are you sure the child is yours?
Perhaps the reason you don’t text her back fast enough is because you have a life, work, and obligations (like supporting that child). What does she do all day?
Anyone can change, but the truth is that few do.
Unfortunately, it sounds like you have a bad egg. You are a person of value and don’t need to “win” her from her ex’s every single day. Why are the ex’s talking to her? What is she doing for them, or what do they hope to get from her (and you know what I mean)?
She cannot possibly be in TRUE love with you if she flip flops every week. Relationships have ups and downs but this sounds insane.
Protect your baby, protect yourself.
Let us know if we can help more.
Best,
Will
By the age of 16 I faced more than my fare share of life’s difficulties. It left me broken and struggling everyday to overcome them. I had very significant trust and commitment issues. The end of my sophomore year in high school my best friend died in a hunting accident, leaving me even more torn. However just a month after that I met a girl. I was hesitant from the beginning to letting her into my life, but in just a couple months we had fallen head over heels in love. She always said we were soulmates. We were together for almost a year when I left her for her twin. After a couple months I realized how much of a huge mistake I made. Throughout it all we were able to remain friends and when i told her i made a mistake she told me it might be too late to fix it. However, she continued to get closer and closer to me for the next year. At times she’d act like we were together again, and then when things started going well she’d run as fast as she could. She’s tried being in other relationships, but they never work out. I realized we have a lot to work on. I made the worst mistake possible, and it took me a long time to even be able to apologize for that. When i finally did, and finally tried to explain why i did everything i did (because it was all out of my own fears and insecurities, not because i didn’t love her), she shut me out of her life and wouldn’t talk to me. She doesn’t even want to be close friends anymore. She has so much built up hatred toward me, and won’t even let me try to mend anything. From the day i realized i made a mistake, i haven’t stopped loving her. Through all the difficulties of our relationship since then, i haven’t stopped loving her. I know that i’d do anything it took to make things right again. But, i don’t know how to make things right again. Countless people, even her twin, have told her that they think she still loves me. A times she’ll even show me that she does. It seems as though everytime she starts to try to forgive me and fix our relationship, she gets scared and shuts me out. She’s even said she doesn’t want to get attached again. I’d work every day for the rest of my life to gain her love and trust back because life without her isn’t right.
Kara,
When people act irrationally, as it sounds she is, it can be difficult to determine how best to approach the person or the situation.
In the Magic of Making Up there are two approaches taught that both sound like they might be a good way to start:
It’s a paid product but if you reply back and give me permission to email you I will go ahead and slip you the one I feel might have the better chance (don’t tell Tdub, the author of Magic of Making Up, I did that, OK?)
Waiting to hear back from you,
Will
Will,
You have my permission.
My lips are sealed
Me and my girlfriend of a year and 2month told me she fell out of love and she want me to fix it if I want our relationship to work. She broke up with me 4 times and now she’s at the end. She said this is my very last chance. So I have 2weeks for her to fall inlove with me again. But she lives 6hours away and most of our relationship is on the phone. What should I do?
I don’t suspect anyone is going to “fall in love” in 2 weeks, especially at a distance.
Distance relationships are tough, and based on what little information I have here there is no way I can really make a sound suggestion.
If she has broken up that many times, I wonder why she is giving it another chance at all; then to allow “2 weeks” is pretty unrealistic.
Evaluate whether or not there is something in this girl that really makes her “the one” and worth you pursuing.
If there are really good reasons why she broke up with you that many times, then it’s time for some self-evaluation on your part.
With more info I will try to help further, but that’s about all I can really say at this point.
Best,
Will
Hi,
I have been searching for the answers left and right. Read a ton of book, including The Magic of Making Up. And I just started applying it. Here is my story.
Three weeks ago today my wife told me she is done, wants a divorce. Wow, what a kick in the b**s that was. She is typical Walk Away Wife. The reasons for this was the years of neglect on my part. She said I was never there for her, she was never happy, that we were just best friends never lovers. She recently started working for one of those MLM companies where she gained a lot of confidence. She is constantly at the meetings, talking to people…in the beginning I was pleading, begging, telling her to think about the kids (two boys 6 and 4). She decided to stay home for a week. We were even sleeping in the same bed, until one night I confronted her about another man. She started seeing him after the “breakup”. He recently separated from his wife too. She swears there was no sex. But says he understands her and it feels good to talk to him. She even promised she would break up with him. But I later found out she didn’t. When asked her about him again she said she is moving out. That was two days ago. She is still seeing him, but won’t admit it. They work together and have to hide every time they are together. They talk for hour on the phone. I understand this is just a rebound…but I am hurt. I needed to get this out of me. I still love her, 12 years of marriage and 15 years together. I know we can make it better than ever. But I don’t think I an prepared to wait too long. Especially now that she is with him. Just don’t know what to do. As I said I read the magic of making up, but I am just doubting everything now….just need some encouragement. Thanks.
Danny,
Wow, I can really feel your pain. This is a tough one.
By now you probably know that the pleading and begging was not the right approach, so just leave it at that and don’t pursue that avenue again.
The neglect part I would need to know more about, but I’ll comment based on what I do see here.
MLM’s are funny beasts; some people do excel there and make a lot of money, or just enjoy being around it.
The “meetings” can be like legal “drugs”; quit going and the effect wears off; i.e., the confidence is not necessarily permanent.
Maybe you neglected her, maybe she said something back when there was time to fix it or maybe not. But lying to you is not a mature or honorable response. And yes, kids are a responsibility she signed up for and cannot expect to just walk away from it.
For now I fear the best you can do is to act as you wish you had all along:
1) be a responsible father
2) treat your wife respectfully and lovingly, but don’t “push” her to show love in return.
3) be honest with her even if she is not honest with you
4) improve yourself anyway you can (gym, grooming, dress, job)
Since you read the Magic of Making Up, did you try the Clean Slate Method at all?
Trust is something that takes a long time to build up but can be lost in a second. She has lost your trust and needs to earn it back. Not too much you can do about that, it’s up to her.
But you can continue to be the trustworthy husband and by example showing her what a spouse should be doing and acting like.
Hope this helps some. Please write back if you can.
best,
Will
I met a girl on facebook. We clicked almost instantly, we chatted for about 15 hours in our first conversation. As the conversation moved, first we chatted and the girl shared her mobile number with me. Since then we have been taking for about an hour daily on phone.
I am in love with her. In next 2-3 days we will be meeting each other.She is so simple and beautiful.
The concern is that she already in a relationship with a guy who is 3yr elder than her. They both love each other ( as she says to me). Also, she keeps on messaging me what I have been doing, what I ate , where I am and also what she is doing, what she is eating and all that.
We have met twice and she wants to meet again (just after two days).
Does she loves me or just sees me as her friend??
I see some alarm bells.
She loves someone else but is chatting with and meeting you? Is she a liar, 2-timer or what?
She is cheating on the guy she is with now and thinks nothing of it. That means she will cheat on you too.
Even if you are her “friend” her relationship with you is inappropriate. A girl making “friends” with other guys besides her lover is just a path to eventual breakup; she needs to break up with the other guy before making new guy friends via facebook or anything else.
Who knows, this could even be a setup of some type.
Think carefully before getting involved with a woman who is willing to treat a guy the way she is treating her current boyfriend.
Probably not what you WANTED to hear, but please consider it.
Best,
Will
I have been dating this girl for a year and a half and we are very serious. I was not interested to carry on coz her mom had not agreed for this relationship and she is not even willing to meet me(though i am a christian i dont belong to the same Christianity community as them ) since my girls father had passed away long back, her mom says she does not want this to happen and she will get her married to someone from her caste..
Her mother had shouted a lot at me even after i spoke to her last year and when i confronted my girl she said her mom will take time.,.. but i said i cant move on coz i have no security or guarantee from her side coz i don wanna see her go away with someone else at the end of the day.. but my gal kept crying and begging me not to leave her..
about 3 months back i even quit my job coz i was not able to concentrate coz of all the stress.. my parents are ok with her and even they are waiting for an answer. she had promised me that she wouldn join any job until she convinces things with her mom and recently she she just broke her words and joined for a job..even before i could start searching for one. and she is saying she had to do this coz she has loads of pressures at home.. but i feel she has changed a lot.. she wants me to be ok with her if she keeps in touch with anyone.. but i have to keep away from certain girls.. she is not able to give me proper time also and i feel so alone.,. i dont wanna cheat on her so i am not going behind any other gal! My health has GONE down ALSO A LOT..
i dont live in the same state as her.. i dunno if i should look for a job where i am comfortable or should i take the risk to going to her state.. what if at the end anyways her mom wont agree.what if she wont be able to give me time coz of her job coz i cant force her to go against her mom coz her mom is a widow also,when i ask her an answer she is like her answer is she wants me but she cant do anything coz of her mom and is waiting ..nor will her church allow for me… but at the same time she needs me.. i am so confused… i feel i am clingy but i dont wanna lose her coz this is not her,, she wasnt like this.. and she has no other guy also.
BADLY NEED SOME ADVICE!
Priority #1 is to keep your life together. Ditching everything and following her seems pretty risky when it seems she may not be 100% committed to you. You need a job that fits you and allows you to provide.
You don’t want to have to get between a girl and her mother. Not only is it a bad time for you, it’s hard to win in the long run.
And often: The girl becomes like her mother. Not her fault, it’s just in her genes.
Hope that helps.
Will
I know my faults. I know I’m the one who destroyed my relationship with my Fiance of five and half years together this past December. For the first time I’m openly willing to admit I’ve cheated on her more than once, Lied to her about stupid and petty insignificant things, Lost faith in our relationship and overall stopped being that guy that I once was and she fell in love with. I can honestly say I turned myself into that guy no girl truly wants to date. The smooth talking, empathic SOB and all around jackass that every Dad hopes his daughter never meets.
I met the love of my life at 14 and now we have two children together 3 and 2. Family is the most important thing to me, but I lost my way more then once. The only thing is I never stopped loving her. She always came first in my heart and more then once when decision time came… I always choose her. Because deep down she was always the other half of me that made me whole. But I messed up big time this past December when we got into an argument over a very stupid thing omission of the truth. It was past midnight and we started arguing and I finally walked out on her. I didn’t come back after that and I’ve since moved out. The part that hurts though is I finally crossed that line, but now more than ever I regret every second of it. I started missing her after a few weeks and started to in my own way try and repair our relationship, but I got angry when I learned she had started to see a “friend” of hers. I stormed out and didn’t look back, but I think that was my last shot with her. Nowadays we’ve been fighting more and more over the children and other things, but all the while we fight I still love her. Deep down I’m killing myself slowly cause she’s all I think about. She’s now dating her friend and I actually tried to move on with my own life and started dating another girl, but every time I’m with my current girlfriend she’ll do something that just sparks a memory of my old Fiance and I get depressed all over again.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I know I’m not being faithful to my current girlfriend when all I do when she touches me is close my eyes and imagine my old Fiance, But I can’t keep killing myself when my old Fiance doesn’t want me anymore after everything we’ve been through. I honestly can’t love and give myself to another girl the way I love her. What should I do? Do I even deserve another chance after so many?
My girlfriend broke up with me after thirteen months together. She did it over a text, and Facebook, claiming that I couldn’t see that she was hurting. I could, but I just couldn’t do anything about it, seeing as the previous two weeks that I’ve seen it, and tried to help, she simply either ignored my help or just shunned me and ignored me to go on Facebook to talk with other men. So I decided to give her some space, and it seemed to be working for a few days, but then neither helping nor giving space seemed to cheer her up. I tried asking her, and she wouldn’t tell me and just shrug. I thought it was because she was having troubles with those said men on Facebook, since she is deeply attached to them (they’re old/good friends). After about a week of this, she sent a text saying she was not happy with me, and that she did not love me anymore, stating that I was stuck in the past and immature. Of course I defended myself, but it was all in vain. She promptly told me to f*** off and leave her alone. I’ve already attempted to get her back via logical arguments, showing her that I still love her, and even doing a bit of begging (stupid, I know…). None has worked, and she’s claiming to already be in love with someone who is 3,000 miles across the country, and moved on. I’m in a deep depression, already having attempted suicide three times now. I’ve nowhere else to turn to help, seeing as my family just gives false smiles saying “it’ll be all right, honey.” and my friends just say “go meet a new girl!”. I really just don’t know what to do, seeing as she’s back in love, and resenting me…
Please get help for the suicide inclinations.
She is not worth that!
Your are worth more than you realize and it sounds as if she is not worth you.
She broke up with a text and Facebook. Yes, today is a different generation. But someone you love? Please!
She’s in love with Facebook, look for someone who is in love with YOU.
Please get help – you are worth it.
Will