How To Make Her Fall In Love With Me Again

how-to-make-her-fall-in-loveMany guys have lost a wife or girlfriends love, maybe even break up or divorce, yet still have strong feelings for her. They want desperately to know how to make her fall in love with me again. If she has not left yet, they want to prevent it; get her back if she has.

So if you are in that category you are not alone. There is help and it can be possible to get her back or keep her from leaving you. The question is how committed are you to doing that?

Anytime we are in a situation where emotions run high we risk making hasty and not so well thought out decisions. Sometimes it is best to be able to step away from the situation, avoid any rash or angry behavior and just let the situation cool off.

That could mean that stepping away from the situation for a while is called for. If you are married that may be less appropriate, but you do need to make sure you do not act inappropriately or in any way even lose dignity over the situation.

No matter how she may be acting, you want to make sure that you are not doing something that will count against you and reduce your chance to make her fall in love with you again. Women do not want to be attached to a loser and you certainly do not want to end up before a judge over your actions.

How to Make Her Fall In Love With Me Again

What happened in the relationship, do you know why she no longer loves you? Perhaps she told you or gave you a clue; many women will not.

But as you know people tend to get bored with something, even something terrific, after a period of time. Just watch kids with toys after Christmas; what the child cannot put down on Christmas day might be forgotten in a closet by Spring.

Or even that adorable puppy that brings initial excitement. After a few months of taking care of it the puppy is not near so fawned over as when it first came into the house.

That happens with relationships, too. That does not mean we need to change out partners, it just means that the relationship moves to a different level. Unfortunately, that level often brings with it a tendency to take each other for granted and not show some of the common courtesies that we did when first dating.

Do not think of yourself as a victim, nor as a loser just because she does not seem to love you currently. On the contrary, continue to take care of yourself: workout, eat right, get enough sleep, hang out with friends that will cheer you up.

Try to get up each morning and think about positive things that will make you smile, put you in a good mood and make people want to be around you. Avoid moping and complaining, that gets old quick, friends will abandon you and strangers shun you.

You do not want your wife or girlfriend thinking you are just waiting around for them; you are not. You want to make them love you again and sometimes people want what they cannot have – or in this case, what is not immediately available to them.

Any time your paths cross, be sincere with a smile and be polite. You do not need to bring up the relationship right away, that can come later. Let’s get her to like you again first. If you are married and living together, make sure you not only do your household chores – the right way! – but see if you can help her out too.

Think back about the things you did and talked about when you were dating and what you were like then. I know life might suck now with the job, bills and problems with the kids perhaps, but concentrate on your blessings, however corny that might sound it really does work.

Turn your thinking around and think about others. Most people really feel best when concentrating on helping others instead of their own problems. Eliminate any time wasters in your life and put the time to more productive use. Maybe that means turning off the TV and playing basketball with the kids.

We are doing two important things here:

  1. We are getting you out of a depression “hole” if you are in one
  2. By focusing on others we are keeping you out of that “hole”

Consider this for a minute. Who do you know in life that is:

  • Clean and well kept
  • Always ready with a smile
  • Always helping others
  • Never moping or complaining
  • Spends time with their kids, if they have them

Anyone come to mind? Chances are, they are a popular person. And probably popular with the opposite sex too, regardless of how good looking they are.

Now if you work toward that, and you are a happier person because of it, isn’t it worth the extra effort?

How about your girlfriend or wife, how will she view you? Will you still be coming here looking for answers on “how to make her fall in love with me again”? Probably not (but you are welcome here anyway!).

This is not the whole story, it is really just a primer to get you started.

If you are really serious about finding out “how to make her fall in love with me again“, then I highly recommend you take a look at a great resource. It’s called the Magic of Making Up and it has now sold over 50,000 copies.

It can change your life, save your marriage or get your girlfriend back. I highly recommend it.

Comments

  1. Mark says

    My girlfriend of 17 years told me 2 months ago that she didn’t think she wanted to be with me anymore. We’ve had our problems in the past, but not as much since we had 2 kids together, the youngest being 8 months. I took the news very hard, not eating for a week after she told me and have fallen into some depression. I did the begging and asking to stay together, not only for me, but for our children and because I still love her deeply. I feel so alone and it is hard to get through each day. She has asked me to move out, but I said that I could not, that I wanted to be able to be with my children as much as I can, so I have been living downstairs, her upstairs, our 4 year old son sleeps with me, our 8 month old daughter with her. We’ve had some arguments that I try to avoid at all cost, have been doing the majority of the housework, watching the kids while she has been going out at night. I want to do everything/anything I can to be with her again, I worry for her because it seems at times she would rather be out than with her children. Please help me.

  2. Will Scott says

    I really feel for you, friend, you are in a tough spot. I am so glad to hear that you still love her after all this time and want to be with your children. Keep in mind, that anything I say comes from a distance and don’t – and won’t – know every detail.

    But it kind of sounds like she needs some space. So far it sounds like you are doing some of the right things, except for the begging. Make sure that you don’t make her feel pressured to love you or stay around; hopefully she will make those choices herself.

    Has she been under any kind of extreme pressure lately, something that maybe did not used to be present in her life? There is also the possibility of postpartum depression on her part. A new baby in the house is certainly lots of stress (joy too!) all on its own. These can be trying times.

    What other people are influencing her right now, if any? Friends, her side of the family?

    I have quite a few posts on this site that might help you, also lots of articles I have written for other online directories. Let me know if any of this helps, answer the questions if you can (no names or anything here – anyone can read this), and I will certainly help if I can.

  3. Orroyo says

    My girlfriend of ten months left me, saying I wasn’t giving her enough attention and care and now she’s met another guy who can give her those. I’ve been through the begging period, and now we’re just typical friends but I still love her a lot and I want to try to get her back. I’m willing to give her space, and yet she still brings me into things in her life e.g. she wants to write together with me for competitions, what does this mean? Does it mean she has lost all feelings for me, or is it a hint for a second chance? I’m not doing anything now as she likes another guy, but I’m rather confused too.

  4. Randy says

    Mark, my wife of 10 years did the same thing to me last month. We have a 9 y.o, 5 y.o and a 8 month old. For about 2 months prior to “the talk” she was blaming me for everything that had gone wrong in our relationship, going back 10 years and more. On fathers day of this year, she told me she wasnt happy, saw me as a roomate, didnt love me the way she used to and wanted me to move out. I had to move out because we rent from her dad. I keep asking her to talk to me and she just keeps telling me she needs space and time to herself or “not yet” or “not right now”. She says there is no other guy or that she is looking, and I believe her. I feel she is getting a lot of influence from her stepmom. Im losing my mind because I had no idea what happened. One minute shes happy and nice to me and the next she is cold and short. I wish there was an easy fix, but I am having a very hard time. I cry at night and constantly shake. I went to the doc and he put me on anxiety pills, which seem to help but I dont want to take them. Im going to try a send card just to say hi. I’d asked her out on dates, but she blows it off. I’m afraid to push in fear she will run away. Everybody I’ve talked to tells me to get an attorney and file for divorce, but after 10 years, I see her as my other half, my best friend and my love. I cant throw in the towel. So I just plan on being friendly, as much as it hurts cause i just want to hug her, and take things minute by minute. IF in the end she decides she wants a divorce, then I know I’ve tried everything. Hang tough bro!

  5. Will Scott says

    Orroyo,

    That attention thing is a biggie. Heard it before many times. BTW, the “begging” was a mistake, nothing you can do about that now but just remember for the future.

    The thing is, that she won’t figure out for a while, is that the “new” guy will stop doing all those nice things over time, too. It really takes work in a relationship to keep up that attention level when there are so many other things in life demanding our time and energy – work, home repairs, kids, etc.

    If she wants to write with you then that could be a hint of a second chance. Pursue that, but at some point perhaps you can explain to her that you love her too much to just be friends and that being around her for the writing will be hard for you to focus. See how she responds. Women (usually) want men to share their feelings, well, there you have it – and see how she responds to that.

    On the other hand, make sure she’s not requiring TOO much… a “needy” person is one you can never make happy. Need is like a drug, you have to keep increasing the “fix” in order to make a difference. It soon becomes more than any man could ever provide.

    Hope that helps.
    Will

  6. Will Scott says

    Randy,

    Thanks for sharing your situation.

    I see you have an 8 month old; could there be any post-partum issues going on with your wife? If so, it’s not you. You still suffer, but perhaps that’s another angle to pursue – if she needs help, try to get it for her (not easy, I know, she has to recognize the situation).

    I wouldn’t jump to divorce, either, especially since that’s always really hard on the kids. Mood swings are really tough to deal with and that’s one reason I’m wondering about the postpartum possibility.

    Do continue to give her some space; make sure you offer to help with the kids and lighten that load for her. That “should” gain you some points over time, but that’s not the only reason you do it. They are your kids, so that’s your responsibility – AND – it gives you more time with your kids.

    But it also gives you a chance to get in there frequently, and avoid an excuse for her to have step mom help out, or be around, or be another thing for her to complain about to step mom.

    Hope that helps, my best to you.

    Will

  7. Dan says

    I feel for you. I’m going through a similar problem, except I know I was the reason we are on the brink. I have two kids and one step daughter. For years I’ve treated my wife’s daughter with disrespect. Now my wife resents me for it. For the past 6 months I’ve worked on fixing my relationship with my step daughter, and things are great. But according to my wife, it’s to late for us. She says she is not in love with me, the feelings are not there anymore. I refuse to accept this, and I am working on the assumption that she is really pissed at me and that is blocking her feelings. She has brought up things in the past that I have said and did that have crippled my marriage. Things between my step daughter and things I said and did with my wife. I look back and think “what an idiot I was”, but I accepted blame. I agreed with her because she was right. Moving forward, I have worked hard at giving her space to go out, time to relax, and made time for us ( dating ). I think everything can be saved. I just needed to realize what I did to push her away and accept it. I don’t know if we can bring our relationship from divource and looking at separate living arraignments, to love, but it is moving in the right direction. We’ve been on several dates and were intimate yesterday. So my advice is find out what went wrong, accept it, fix it and don’t give up. I am going to fight for my marriage and you should do the same. I forgot over time that the woman is the prize, so it’s worth fighting for. Good luck.

  8. Will Scott says

    Dan,

    Thanks for taking the time to comment.

    Sounds like you clearly “get it” and wish you the best in getting your “prize” back.

    Will

  9. Caleb says

    So me and this girl have been friends for about two years and about 3 months ago she started to flirt with me. I liked her very much but I couldn’t tell her so I took the opportunity and started flirting with her. It progressed to where she would talk about how she wanted a nice guy and that maybe I could be that guy. I was ecstatic to know she really wanted to be with me so I asked her out. She said she would have to think about it. The next I woke to a friend telling me she was dating another guy. I was devastated. I rarely put my heart out (long story) so to know that she was just walking all over it by leading me on was just heart breaking. After about a month this guy dumped her and I was ready to be there for her because she is one of my best friends no matter what happens and she just didn’t seem like the same girl. We would text eachother and she would just stop responding. When we hung out we use to laugh and tell stories but now she just talks about day to day things (nothing personal). I see her hanging out with some of our mutual friends and I want to run over and have a good time but afraid that I will make it akward. Very briefly but sometimes she talks to me and she sounds like the girl I fell in love with. I really want her back in my life but I don’t know how. Please help me.

  10. Will Scott says

    It’s really hard for me to know for sure, but it sounds like this girl is a user – and just an opportunity for you to get hurt.

    Is it possible she knows she is not good enough for you? What was the other guy like who she dated?

    Your situation reminds me of the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”. Another guy has fun with her, you pick up the pieces. After she recovers, she goes back to him.

    My advice is to be careful.

    Best,
    Will

  11. bert says

    Hey will…so my problem is that my girlfriend of almost 6 years just told me she doesn’t love me anymore…this happened not even two months after she had a misscarriege…we’ve talked it over and she’s willing to try to make it work but its been like a month and she says there’s no changes….I’ve been doing everything I can to be the best boyfriend for her and the best father for my 1 year old son…I love her so much that ever since she told me she didn’t love me I can’t sleep eat and all this thoughts go trough my head I just dnt know Wat I would do if I lost her….but I have hope that she will go back to being the loving gf I met in high school

  12. shakeem says

    my girlfriend and i have been dating for about 2 years know and every sense we moved in together everything is starting to fall apart and i try my best to stop the arguing but she always find something to be mad at me about i try to talk it out with her but she never listen or forgive if i was wrong i try my best to be the best boyfriend but she doesnt talk to me any more i love with all my heart i just wish she would open up with me and tell me how she feel some time and talk thing out without arguments

  13. Ian says

    the girl i have been dating for the last year and a half recently decided to leave. but she didnt leave because she was unhappy she left because her parents do not approve, and she was forced to, she was forced too because as long as shes with me then she has no life, and i dont want her to be treated like that because of me but i need her to also tell me why she left and what her plans are, she has been talking to this other guy, is it because she has to prove it to her parents that shes not truly with me, because i know she loves me we have been fighting all of this for so long and we both have been so strong. all i want is to get her back to make her fall in love with me because shes all that truly makes me happy, i just need to know, i know she still loves me but will she come back will she realize that they are creating a fantasy and that it will soon fade into where she can see through the illusion? what can i do i am being friendly but i also tried to change her mind to show her that i will fight for her but i cant do that because it will push her away, so will being friendly make her see that i love her and will it change her mind ive tried making her laugh and she has seemed happy to talk to me, her mom told her that i left her a message and sounded excited is that a sign that she still loves me? do you think she will come back if i do everything right? what are more suggestions on how i can make her come back? i dont knw what to do im scared and lonely and anxious. she has no idea how much i love her and no matter what she will always be my true love and my first true love. i will always love her and i will never give up on trying to win her back. i just need help tell me what i need to do to make her come back.

  14. Will Scott says

    I know little of your circumstances and really feel for you being in a one-sided love relationship.

    One thing I have to throw out there, though, is: Is this really the person you want to spend your life with?

    Maybe something in her life is causing her to act this way when ordinarily she wouldn’t. But from what you have said here the situation does not sound promising for your enduring happiness.

  15. Will Scott says

    Do the parents not approve of you or not approve of her living with you?

    A girl is going to want her parents approval in life, if she can get it. Living with their disapproval – even if she loves you – can be very tough long term.

    We would need to know some more details of what is going on to really be too specific, feel free to use our contact page to get hold of us.

  16. Peter says

    I being in a complicated relationship for the last two and half years and now it seems to come to an end. We work together and since day one when we met for the first time the attraction was there for both of us. Our feelings growth in different ways. She fall in love and she wanted a relationship that I wanted but I was afraid of, so I kept pushing her on the brink of the relationship and made millions of mistakes hurting her in bad ways that I did not intend to, but I did. I did really messed up everything and made her feel unhappy and miserable. We were never totally honest to each other and I guess we let each other to second-guess what was going on within us. Late in the relationship she confessed to me that she was in love but these feelings were fading away because how I treated her. After that conversation everything went down in spiral and I could see who she is shutting down her heart to me in every single way. No matter what I say or what I do now, she is so resentful that she does not want to hear anything from me. She told me that the her feelings are gone and that she is not in love with me anymore and asked me to move on.
    Well, here I am grieving like a teen and not accepting it and working on the assumption that she is blocking all her feelings. Every time I say or do something for her, she brings back the comparison of what I did not say or did not do in the past and how it was so hurtful for her. I know I was a total jerk not realizing what she means for me way before all this got out of hand. I accept all the blame for what happened and I have told her so, but it doesn’t fix the past, it doesn’t take away the pain I caused to her.
    I think (wish) everything can be saved, but I am not so sure. I have mixed feelings on what to do next. I know for sure I have to give her time but I am really afraid that she is using that time to block her heart even more than it is today and I may end losing her forever. Other days I think I should be telling everyday how I feel about her and how important she is to me, but I am afraid that it will push her even further from me. So I guess I am in the predicament of how much it’s too much and how little it’s too little.
    The only thing I know for sure is that she is important to me, I love her and I want her back, I don’t want to lose her and I want to fight for her but don’t know how without making things worst…any help????

  17. lee says

    my ex girlfriend broke with me i did all the begging and making excuses up for why i did what i did to her. I was being to clingy and jelous of her being with other lads and talking to other lads. I made alot of mistakes but now she has another boyfriend literally a day after breaking up with me and she says she has moved on and does not love me anymore. I said to her that i am happy that she has found someone but deep down i really love her still and want her back in my life. I have not talked to her since she said she has another boyfriend its being 2month since she has being going out with him so i don’t know if i will ever get her back or not because she seems to be happier with him than she was with me. I don’t know how to get her to come back to me if there is even a slim chance i have tried moving on but everything i do just reminds me of her even now after a month of no contact. I know people say time is a healer but i don’t believe i will ever forget this girl i fell for her the moment i laid eyes on her and she did with me but i think i have lost her for good after making the mistakes i did.

  18. Will Scott says

    You are worse than square one. Rebuilding trust takes longer than initial trust building.

    Give her time and space, occasionally send her a card or some simple way of telling her that you are thinking of her.

    If you seriously want her back, you might consider getting the Magic of Making Up, studying it, and carefully applying what is suggested.

  19. Will Scott says

    If she left you that easily and found someone else that quickly then her feelings for you were probably not that deep.

    Give her space, treat her as you SHOULD when you do see her, let her know she still matters to you.

    Do NOT crowd her or show jealousy; make every attempt to BETTER yourself in this time alone. Maybe by working on your body, your mind, your job… Make YOU a better YOU. Later on she may notice, but if she doesn’t, chances are someone ELSE will!

  20. Juan says

    Me and my wife have been together for 7 years we have a 15 year old son which is my stepson, and of mines a 6 year old and 1.. I always have this problem that always make a big deal when she wants to go out clubbing one or twice a months with her friends and sometimes we go together as well I have not problem going clubbing with her.. For some reason maybe I feel weird that she might find somebody else in the club. That went for a while and she got tired of that situation so now she have tell me that she didn’t love me anymore because of all this big deal and arguments of she going out with friends to have her alone time. Now I’m working on making her love me again but it doesn’t seem like is working she really wants to be with me I even told her that I was really sorry and that I realize how stupid was me making a big deal of her going clubbing and that I will change that. She tells me that she needs her space as well as I do too. We do house duties together if she doesn’t cook I’ll cook etc… Now she have this thing that she will spend most of the day texting, facebook etc and I told that’s not going to make anything better specially we having kids they need us.. I really want her to focus on us to save our marriage..

  21. dee says

    i hav problem nd i need solution.. plzz help..
    i hav a bst friend he is ma bstfrnd since 2 years.. nd i liked him since d begining.. nd i dint realise dat he loved me too.. he was the best person eva to me dat tym… den later i thot he doesnt love me coz i wasnt aware it.. than his frnd started liking me nd i went dated with him.. without realising dat ma bst frnd loved me and was upset… atlast i broke up with da guy whom i was dating coz i realised dat i love ma best frnd… nw dat i hav realised i hav been waiting for ma bstie from 13 months.. nd i sumhow managed to tell him dat i love him .. but he is angry with me coz i went out with his friend.. nd wenever i ask abt love he tells me a lie saying dat he has a gulfriend. but actually he is single.. i trully love him… nd i need advice pllz do help… i litrally cry thinking abt ma best friend nd ma friendship.. which was just a special thing to me.. all d tym we spent with each other was special.. i really cant live adae without speaking txting nd calling him.. he loves me but he cant tell me… nd he is very angry with me but he doesnt show.i want ma best friend to love me nd propose me… wat shpuld i do ? plzzz help:(

  22. Skip says

    My girlfriend of the past 3 yrs has. Broken up with me numerous times over our relationship! When she does she starts talking to all her x’s again an cont to talk to me an have sex with me. She tells me i dont give her enough attention an dont text her back fast enough thats y she talks to her guy friends an x’s!!! I broke it off over a yr ago told her i can’t be in competion with her x’s an guy friends anymore! A week goes by an shes begging me back! An told me she would cut the guys out of her life!!! 4 months ago i found out she lied to me an never broke the comunication with them so i broke it off again she promised me again it would stop!! I gave her another chance!!! She has broken it off with me an got back with 20 times in 3 years!! An has done it again today said she wants to see other people tht we just wont work!!! We have a 9 month daughter together as well. I love her with all my heart an soul an want us to work!!! Sometimes its great i just cant handle the late night flirting with the other guys how do i make it stop is it possible to make her feel im the only one for her an make her see how much im their for her!!! Or am i hanging on to a bad egg!!!

  23. Will Scott says

    Skip,

    I’m sure this girl has some positive qualities, but; what draws you to a person who:

    1. Is demanding
    2. Lies
    3. Has no focus in life despite being a mother

    I’m sorry to hear you have a baby together because it makes this all the harder for you and for me to write this to you. (And why we really recommend having children only for couples committed to each other enough to say “I do” in front of witnesses.)

    I cringe in saying this, but from what you have said I must ask: are you sure the child is yours?

    Perhaps the reason you don’t text her back fast enough is because you have a life, work, and obligations (like supporting that child). What does she do all day?

    Anyone can change, but the truth is that few do.

    Unfortunately, it sounds like you have a bad egg. You are a person of value and don’t need to “win” her from her ex’s every single day. Why are the ex’s talking to her? What is she doing for them, or what do they hope to get from her (and you know what I mean)?

    She cannot possibly be in TRUE love with you if she flip flops every week. Relationships have ups and downs but this sounds insane.

    Protect your baby, protect yourself.

    Let us know if we can help more.

    Best,
    Will

  24. Kara says

    By the age of 16 I faced more than my fare share of life’s difficulties. It left me broken and struggling everyday to overcome them. I had very significant trust and commitment issues. The end of my sophomore year in high school my best friend died in a hunting accident, leaving me even more torn. However just a month after that I met a girl. I was hesitant from the beginning to letting her into my life, but in just a couple months we had fallen head over heels in love. She always said we were soulmates. We were together for almost a year when I left her for her twin. After a couple months I realized how much of a huge mistake I made. Throughout it all we were able to remain friends and when i told her i made a mistake she told me it might be too late to fix it. However, she continued to get closer and closer to me for the next year. At times she’d act like we were together again, and then when things started going well she’d run as fast as she could. She’s tried being in other relationships, but they never work out. I realized we have a lot to work on. I made the worst mistake possible, and it took me a long time to even be able to apologize for that. When i finally did, and finally tried to explain why i did everything i did (because it was all out of my own fears and insecurities, not because i didn’t love her), she shut me out of her life and wouldn’t talk to me. She doesn’t even want to be close friends anymore. She has so much built up hatred toward me, and won’t even let me try to mend anything. From the day i realized i made a mistake, i haven’t stopped loving her. Through all the difficulties of our relationship since then, i haven’t stopped loving her. I know that i’d do anything it took to make things right again. But, i don’t know how to make things right again. Countless people, even her twin, have told her that they think she still loves me. A times she’ll even show me that she does. It seems as though everytime she starts to try to forgive me and fix our relationship, she gets scared and shuts me out. She’s even said she doesn’t want to get attached again. I’d work every day for the rest of my life to gain her love and trust back because life without her isn’t right.

  25. Will Scott says

    Kara,

    When people act irrationally, as it sounds she is, it can be difficult to determine how best to approach the person or the situation.

    In the Magic of Making Up there are two approaches taught that both sound like they might be a good way to start:

    1. The Magic Second Chance
    2. The Clean Slate Method

    It’s a paid product but if you reply back and give me permission to email you I will go ahead and slip you the one I feel might have the better chance (don’t tell Tdub, the author of Magic of Making Up, I did that, OK?)

    Waiting to hear back from you,
    Will

  26. Lucas says

    Me and my girlfriend of a year and 2month told me she fell out of love and she want me to fix it if I want our relationship to work. She broke up with me 4 times and now she’s at the end. She said this is my very last chance. So I have 2weeks for her to fall inlove with me again. But she lives 6hours away and most of our relationship is on the phone. What should I do?

  27. Will Scott says

    I don’t suspect anyone is going to “fall in love” in 2 weeks, especially at a distance.

    Distance relationships are tough, and based on what little information I have here there is no way I can really make a sound suggestion.

    If she has broken up that many times, I wonder why she is giving it another chance at all; then to allow “2 weeks” is pretty unrealistic.

    Evaluate whether or not there is something in this girl that really makes her “the one” and worth you pursuing.

    If there are really good reasons why she broke up with you that many times, then it’s time for some self-evaluation on your part.

    With more info I will try to help further, but that’s about all I can really say at this point.

    Best,
    Will

  28. danny says

    Hi,
    I have been searching for the answers left and right. Read a ton of book, including The Magic of Making Up. And I just started applying it. Here is my story.
    Three weeks ago today my wife told me she is done, wants a divorce. Wow, what a kick in the b**s that was. She is typical Walk Away Wife. The reasons for this was the years of neglect on my part. She said I was never there for her, she was never happy, that we were just best friends never lovers. She recently started working for one of those MLM companies where she gained a lot of confidence. She is constantly at the meetings, talking to people…in the beginning I was pleading, begging, telling her to think about the kids (two boys 6 and 4). She decided to stay home for a week. We were even sleeping in the same bed, until one night I confronted her about another man. She started seeing him after the “breakup”. He recently separated from his wife too. She swears there was no sex. But says he understands her and it feels good to talk to him. She even promised she would break up with him. But I later found out she didn’t. When asked her about him again she said she is moving out. That was two days ago. She is still seeing him, but won’t admit it. They work together and have to hide every time they are together. They talk for hour on the phone. I understand this is just a rebound…but I am hurt. I needed to get this out of me. I still love her, 12 years of marriage and 15 years together. I know we can make it better than ever. But I don’t think I an prepared to wait too long. Especially now that she is with him. Just don’t know what to do. As I said I read the magic of making up, but I am just doubting everything now….just need some encouragement. Thanks.

  29. Will Scott says

    Danny,

    Wow, I can really feel your pain. This is a tough one.

    By now you probably know that the pleading and begging was not the right approach, so just leave it at that and don’t pursue that avenue again.

    The neglect part I would need to know more about, but I’ll comment based on what I do see here.

    MLM’s are funny beasts; some people do excel there and make a lot of money, or just enjoy being around it.

    The “meetings” can be like legal “drugs”; quit going and the effect wears off; i.e., the confidence is not necessarily permanent.

    Maybe you neglected her, maybe she said something back when there was time to fix it or maybe not. But lying to you is not a mature or honorable response. And yes, kids are a responsibility she signed up for and cannot expect to just walk away from it.

    For now I fear the best you can do is to act as you wish you had all along:

    1) be a responsible father
    2) treat your wife respectfully and lovingly, but don’t “push” her to show love in return.
    3) be honest with her even if she is not honest with you
    4) improve yourself anyway you can (gym, grooming, dress, job)

    Since you read the Magic of Making Up, did you try the Clean Slate Method at all?

    Trust is something that takes a long time to build up but can be lost in a second. She has lost your trust and needs to earn it back. Not too much you can do about that, it’s up to her.

    But you can continue to be the trustworthy husband and by example showing her what a spouse should be doing and acting like.

    Hope this helps some. Please write back if you can.

    best,
    Will

  30. Venkatesan says

    I met a girl on facebook. We clicked almost instantly, we chatted for about 15 hours in our first conversation. As the conversation moved, first we chatted and the girl shared her mobile number with me. Since then we have been taking for about an hour daily on phone.
    I am in love with her. In next 2-3 days we will be meeting each other.She is so simple and beautiful.

    The concern is that she already in a relationship with a guy who is 3yr elder than her. They both love each other ( as she says to me). Also, she keeps on messaging me what I have been doing, what I ate , where I am and also what she is doing, what she is eating and all that.
    We have met twice and she wants to meet again (just after two days).
    Does she loves me or just sees me as her friend??

  31. Will Scott says

    I see some alarm bells.

    She loves someone else but is chatting with and meeting you? Is she a liar, 2-timer or what?

    She is cheating on the guy she is with now and thinks nothing of it. That means she will cheat on you too.

    Even if you are her “friend” her relationship with you is inappropriate. A girl making “friends” with other guys besides her lover is just a path to eventual breakup; she needs to break up with the other guy before making new guy friends via facebook or anything else.

    Who knows, this could even be a setup of some type.

    Think carefully before getting involved with a woman who is willing to treat a guy the way she is treating her current boyfriend.

    Probably not what you WANTED to hear, but please consider it.

    Best,
    Will

  32. Dave says

    I have been dating this girl for a year and a half and we are very serious. I was not interested to carry on coz her mom had not agreed for this relationship and she is not even willing to meet me(though i am a christian i dont belong to the same Christianity community as them ) since my girls father had passed away long back, her mom says she does not want this to happen and she will get her married to someone from her caste..

    Her mother had shouted a lot at me even after i spoke to her last year and when i confronted my girl she said her mom will take time.,.. but i said i cant move on coz i have no security or guarantee from her side coz i don wanna see her go away with someone else at the end of the day.. but my gal kept crying and begging me not to leave her..

    about 3 months back i even quit my job coz i was not able to concentrate coz of all the stress.. my parents are ok with her and even they are waiting for an answer. she had promised me that she wouldn join any job until she convinces things with her mom and recently she she just broke her words and joined for a job..even before i could start searching for one. and she is saying she had to do this coz she has loads of pressures at home.. but i feel she has changed a lot.. she wants me to be ok with her if she keeps in touch with anyone.. but i have to keep away from certain girls.. she is not able to give me proper time also and i feel so alone.,. i dont wanna cheat on her so i am not going behind any other gal! My health has GONE down ALSO A LOT..

    i dont live in the same state as her.. i dunno if i should look for a job where i am comfortable or should i take the risk to going to her state.. what if at the end anyways her mom wont agree.what if she wont be able to give me time coz of her job coz i cant force her to go against her mom coz her mom is a widow also,when i ask her an answer she is like her answer is she wants me but she cant do anything coz of her mom and is waiting ..nor will her church allow for me… but at the same time she needs me.. i am so confused… i feel i am clingy but i dont wanna lose her coz this is not her,, she wasnt like this.. and she has no other guy also.

    BADLY NEED SOME ADVICE!

  33. Will Scott says

    Priority #1 is to keep your life together. Ditching everything and following her seems pretty risky when it seems she may not be 100% committed to you. You need a job that fits you and allows you to provide.

    You don’t want to have to get between a girl and her mother. Not only is it a bad time for you, it’s hard to win in the long run.

    And often: The girl becomes like her mother. Not her fault, it’s just in her genes.

    Hope that helps.

    Will

  34. Jon says

    I know my faults. I know I’m the one who destroyed my relationship with my Fiance of five and half years together this past December. For the first time I’m openly willing to admit I’ve cheated on her more than once, Lied to her about stupid and petty insignificant things, Lost faith in our relationship and overall stopped being that guy that I once was and she fell in love with. I can honestly say I turned myself into that guy no girl truly wants to date. The smooth talking, empathic SOB and all around jackass that every Dad hopes his daughter never meets.

    I met the love of my life at 14 and now we have two children together 3 and 2. Family is the most important thing to me, but I lost my way more then once. The only thing is I never stopped loving her. She always came first in my heart and more then once when decision time came… I always choose her. Because deep down she was always the other half of me that made me whole. But I messed up big time this past December when we got into an argument over a very stupid thing omission of the truth. It was past midnight and we started arguing and I finally walked out on her. I didn’t come back after that and I’ve since moved out. The part that hurts though is I finally crossed that line, but now more than ever I regret every second of it. I started missing her after a few weeks and started to in my own way try and repair our relationship, but I got angry when I learned she had started to see a “friend” of hers. I stormed out and didn’t look back, but I think that was my last shot with her. Nowadays we’ve been fighting more and more over the children and other things, but all the while we fight I still love her. Deep down I’m killing myself slowly cause she’s all I think about. She’s now dating her friend and I actually tried to move on with my own life and started dating another girl, but every time I’m with my current girlfriend she’ll do something that just sparks a memory of my old Fiance and I get depressed all over again.

    I don’t know what to do anymore. I know I’m not being faithful to my current girlfriend when all I do when she touches me is close my eyes and imagine my old Fiance, But I can’t keep killing myself when my old Fiance doesn’t want me anymore after everything we’ve been through. I honestly can’t love and give myself to another girl the way I love her. What should I do? Do I even deserve another chance after so many?

  35. Riley says

    My girlfriend broke up with me after thirteen months together. She did it over a text, and Facebook, claiming that I couldn’t see that she was hurting. I could, but I just couldn’t do anything about it, seeing as the previous two weeks that I’ve seen it, and tried to help, she simply either ignored my help or just shunned me and ignored me to go on Facebook to talk with other men. So I decided to give her some space, and it seemed to be working for a few days, but then neither helping nor giving space seemed to cheer her up. I tried asking her, and she wouldn’t tell me and just shrug. I thought it was because she was having troubles with those said men on Facebook, since she is deeply attached to them (they’re old/good friends). After about a week of this, she sent a text saying she was not happy with me, and that she did not love me anymore, stating that I was stuck in the past and immature. Of course I defended myself, but it was all in vain. She promptly told me to f*** off and leave her alone. I’ve already attempted to get her back via logical arguments, showing her that I still love her, and even doing a bit of begging (stupid, I know…). None has worked, and she’s claiming to already be in love with someone who is 3,000 miles across the country, and moved on. I’m in a deep depression, already having attempted suicide three times now. I’ve nowhere else to turn to help, seeing as my family just gives false smiles saying “it’ll be all right, honey.” and my friends just say “go meet a new girl!”. I really just don’t know what to do, seeing as she’s back in love, and resenting me…

  36. Will Scott says

    Please get help for the suicide inclinations.

    She is not worth that!

    Your are worth more than you realize and it sounds as if she is not worth you.

    She broke up with a text and Facebook. Yes, today is a different generation. But someone you love? Please!

    She’s in love with Facebook, look for someone who is in love with YOU.

    Please get help – you are worth it.

    Will

  37. Louie says

    Here it goes… my wife of 11 years and mother of our 4 children decided last month to end our relationship. We have been together since we were 15, so that means we were actually together for 22 years! There were many infidelities and lies on my part during the first ten years. At one point I ran away and left her… but after some time we got back together. For the last ten years I have been faithful… and I thought that things were going great. She says that she has forgiven me for the past, but she can never forget. Every time that we get into an argument, she always brings these things up… always. I can never get a break from it. She also says that she is not IN love with me anymore. She says that she sent me multiple signs and told me things, but I never caught on.

    Well, a month ago I received a message on Facebook from a woman in another city. She told me that her fiance was receiving explicit pictures and videos from my wife. I couldn’t believe it and she sent them to me…. I was devastated. How could she? I confronted her about it. Then she tried to end the relationship over text messaging. I could not accept that. That evening I went home to check on my son because she had never come home. Mind you, I spent hours that day looking for her with her brother because we were worried. When I opened the door she was sitting on the sofa… so I talked… then we argued, then she told me that it was over. I felt a rush of anger, hurt, and sadness come over me and pushed a table out of my way so that I could leave. Unfortunately, that table flew in her direction and hit her. She had to go to the hospital for some stitches. I was in shock and scared. I didn’t know what to d0 so I called her brother and he took her to the hospital. Just so that you all know… I am not a wife beater… I have never touched any woman or my own children. This was an accident and she even acknowledges it.

    Since then, I left the house. I sleep in the basement of my brother in laws apartment. I have tried the begging and it obviously does not work. She now has Post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD), so she can’t even hear my voice or see me. We communicate through texts or chatting online. It has been hell for me… not eating well, crying myself to sleep, feeling angry. I did start doing a few things to keep myself busy. I started taking a 6 week salsa dance class, I started reading a book, I’m taking the kids out when I can, and I even took myself to see a therapist weekly. Everyone tells me to have faith… to give it time and her some space. What does that mean though? I’m afraid that if I let go too much that I will lose her forever. She still makes me breakfasts and dinners… is that a good sign? There is a girl-friend of hers that I know influences her in someway, and this woman is a cheater, doesn’t work, and takes advantage of people and I’m afraid that she is doing the same with my wife now. My oldest son hates me… my other two sons are suffering and my 4 year old daughter keeps asking me why I don’t come home anymore. It’s heart-breaking. I have accepted and have apologized for my past… but she is using this in her defense. It’s like she has built this wall around her to keep from loving me. She says that she doesn’t want a divorce and that there is no other guy for her… but she can not concentrate on us. She says that she has to do her first and then the children. I try to tell her that we are a family and that there is no reason for any of us to be going through this alone… that we can do it, fix it together. I don’t want to push her away. I want to win her back. I don’t want her to hate me. I am desperate… and I don’t know what to do… please help!

  38. john williams says

    Hey Will,

    Im in a situation where my x-gf and i have been together for 2 years. I have a son he is also 2 years old. I have full custody of my son and my gf has assumed a motherly roll in his life being that his biological mother has no visition and or custody. I took our relationship forgranted and didnt prioritize my life. I realized the error of my ways but i feel its to late and i dont have very much time to show her and display the changes have been willing and am willing to make to improve my life for myself my son and potentially her. The reason i dont have much time is because she is actually going to be joining the navy here in a month. Although her roots (parents / life long friends) are here she will be gone and wont be here very often. Although i feel i have been trying hard to better myself she isnt ready to be in a relationship. I guess its hard for me to have hope with a relationship with no foundation and barely any communication being that she will be in training and after that who knows where. I know that what i need to do is focus on myself and improving my son and my life. But i would like to be able to share my life with her at some point. Any advice would be appreciated.

  39. Magaly Ponce says

    I need to tell you my story, I am separate from my husband of 16 years married,since February, 2012 because he couldn’t get a job in his career, and was only doing some freelance online for about 6 months, but when i asked him to help me to pay the bills, he never had money and i am working full time and sometimes overtime, so i asked him to get another type of job and help me and we have 2 kids together (12, 14, years old), but the situation was turned really bad, arguing, and the kids were very sad, so he moved out of the house to another state with his family and his mother , ), but my sister found in Facebook a picture of him with another women, so I asked him for divorce, but he said he will do it when he gets a job, but the other women is from out of the country (Caribbean ), and I ask him for his new relationship , and he said it was nothing, was just a friend he met online, and he is still staying with his mother , and now he had a job in something different like i asked him before, and he asked that he want to stay with our kids for a couple of weeks, so my kids agreed and wanted to do it, but now what is going to happened, if we are working in different states, should I wait for the divorce? Need some advice….

  40. Will Scott says

    We never want to actually recommend divorce, especially since trying times such as these do (usually) eventually pass. (The Bible says: This too shall pass).

    However, both of you need to be doing your best to make the relationship work.

    Long distance relationships are not easy, let him know how you feel about him and wait patiently – not forever – to see if his stress settles down and he is thinking clearly again; and ask how he feels.

  41. J Crawf says

    My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. She was extremely happy in the beginning, we’ve had fights, arguments and bickering but all in all she has been happy.
    However, about a month ago she tells me out of the blue that she feels more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. I asked her what i can do or what i could have done and she said there’s nothing i can do or could have done to prevent this. She also says that if we were 5 years in the future, she would love where we are in the relationship. She wants to marry me and carry my children but she wants that in five years. I also am not looking for kids or marriage for some time. But I love her and I would do anything for her. I don’t know what I can do to win her back. She loves my kisses, loves spending time with me, still gets turned on by me but just doesn’t seem to love me. Is there anything i can do?

  42. Billy says

    My girlfriend of 4 years just told me she don’t love me anymore and she don’t wanna hear from me anymore we had some ups and downs but I thought we were strong and could make it though it I know her mom don’t like me and all her friends want her single cause they are and want her to help them get on other dudes and I tell them to stay out our relationship and she gets mad at me and says i’m disrespectful and now i’m on here trying to find some help to get her back her last words to me was I love you i’m just not in love with you anymore…Help Please

  43. Eddie says

    Ive been dating this girl for about a year and a half. she is short tempered and as a result she would break up with me fairly often. One of those times I thought it was the real deal. I didnt think we’d ever get back together, so I went out to a friends house (a girl my girlfriend feared id been talking to behind her back, which I wasnt) anyway, one thing lead to anouth and I had sex with her. I immediately regreted that decision and set out to get my girlfriend back. And with a little help from friends and her father she decided to go out with me again. She made it very cleat she wasnt happy about what I had done. So ive spent the last 6 months trying to make up for what I did and it seemed to be working. Untill 2 weeks ago. She stop talking to me, she admitted to take pleasure out of saying hurtful things to me and I had no clue what was going on. Finally she broke up with me and told me it was all because of what I did 6 months ago and now she didnt love me at all, in fact she hated me. Now, ive spent a good about of time beging and trying to convince her that im good for her….but it hasnt gotten me anywhere. We live together and niether of us really have anywhere to go. im lost…i feel more alone in bed with her than I do sleeping on the couch. I dont know what to do. I dont want anyone but her but she wants little to nothing to do with me. What do I do?

  44. Will Scott says

    I presume you are young.

    Don’t think issues like this get better with age.

    A few things jump out at me:

    1) short tempered
    2) enjoys saying hurtful things

    I’m not a big fan of living together before you are ready to make a lifelong commitment and this is one reason – it can become financially hard to break up.

    My advice is to treat her in a caring and loving way, because that’s the way we should treat everyone.

    Look for another place to live so you can make a fresh, clean start looking for someone who enjoys building you up, not tearing you down.

    Best,
    Will

  45. frankie says

    My girlfriend of six years and fiance of four months told me on christmas eve that she was unhappy that she wanted space to think about things. We have two kids together a 3year old son and a 1year old daughter so it was hard for me to just up and leave. in the six years together we been threw so much but managed a way to stay together. At first I said no I wouldnt leave because thats what she wanted but then decided if she has her space it might work for the better “hopefully” if not I would understand but I just hate the fact of being away from her for to long we see each other everyday when I get off of work I pick the kids up from babysitter and wait at home for her to get off then we sit eat with the kids and then later I go I feel like we see each other alot dailey that she will get used to just a friendship and not want to get together again. I proposed on our six year anaversary we were high schhol sweethearts nd I refuse to let her go but her happiness isall I care about and if its without me ill understand. where can all this come from why would she feel this way?

  46. Will Scott says

    Frankie,

    It’s really hard to know where this might come from, but it sounds like you have take the right approach already by:

    1) NOT freaking out
    2) NOT getting angry
    3) NOT trying to control her

    One possibility is that she may be realizing that she isn’t a kid anymore and that since you are her high school sweetheart, maybe she is missing something that’s “out there”.

    Remember our whole entertainment systems and society at large encourage no commitments (to heck with the kids well-being) and fun, fun, fun for me, me, me. Perhaps the proposal triggered the word “commitment” in her mind and scared her (it’s usually the guy who fears this word, but not always!). Never mind that having children with someone should speak the work “commitment”, but I digress…

    I would suggest you sit down with her and map out a strategy that gives her the space she needs but gives you the access to your children that you are entitled to.

    Also, of course, there are the living logistics, bills, etc. depending on just how much “space” she wants.

    If you truly love her, don’t be afraid to tell her that; but don’t let her think you are just a sap that she can “fall back on” should her plans not turn out so rosy.

    Hope that helps,
    Will

  47. Shannon says

    I was with my girlfriend for two years. As time went on our love grew for each other. I then ask her to be my wife and put a ring on her finger. After i did this, things seemed to change with us. She quit showing me any type of affection and begin to change me. Due to an issue at work, we got in a huge argument one night and I moved out, I could not take anymore of the fighting. When i returned from my trip, i have tried to work this out with her so we could repair our relationship and move forward. I’ve tried everything i known to do, she would get close to me and then she would turn on me. here lately we hardly speak at all. I have expressed my feelings to her and told her that i want to work it out, she is the love of my life. Now that all the drama has stopped between us and I try to talk to her, she says that she has thought about it and that we have nothing in common. I ask her if she ever thinks about me or if she missed me and she always says yes she does but she just needs her space. I have asked her if she was finished with our relationship and she will not answer that question. I’m at the point that i don’t know what to do anymore. When i start to move on and start having fun with my friends, she will call me and make me feel bad about having fun, but she is allowed to do what she wants to do, and i never get mad about it. She has told me that she is not seeing anybody else and that she just needs to find her self. I truly love her but i don’t know if is should keep trying for her love or not.

  48. Will Scott says

    Shannon,

    Maybe you love her but I smell a miserable life ahead for you with this woman.

    It’s just possible that she will never “find herself”; but if you marry her, you may have kids by the time you figure this out. In the meantime, her life is dedicated to controlling you, not enjoying each other’s love.

    I would love to give you better advice, but I would prefer you find a woman who will treat YOU right.

    Let me know if I can do any more for you, I do feel the pain of your predicament.

    Best,
    Will

  49. Javier says

    I dated my girlfriend for about 7 months. She fell in love with me because of my sweetness and the way I took things calmly. Everything was perfect we never had fights because we both loved each other a lot and we we’re both open minded about numerous of things. For example she wasn’t the jealous type and I was always calm and a listener. We never had love conflicts because she and I would express our love perfectly to each other. The problem was probably the hardest to deal with. A long distance relationship. In my point of view I felt it wasn’t bad because we lived two hours away she lived upstate NY and i lived in the city yet we would see each other once every two weeks or so. The problems started to arise with she started to at cold when we we’re apart. She would forget that I even existed and her feeling, she admitted would go away when we were apart. We would have fights over the smallest things when we where apart. We would sometimes stop talking and couldn’t work things out cause its hard to talk feelings by text or just phone calls. But the thing is when she would come visit me or I would visit her it was like heaven we were madly in love and desired our love so much. She broke up with me because she felt it wasn’t a healthy relationship she didn’t feel right because it felt like a roller coaster. An emotional roller coaster. I understand what she means I did get that same feeling but I wanted to keep going because I knew she was one day going to live in the city after college. That goal never worked out and now I hope maybe one day I can get her back. No one knows what can happen but I can one day find her because her cousin and her are extremely close. Her cousin was the reason I found her and she loved us dating because we were perfect. You think theres a chance she would probably live here in 4-5 years. I know i cant just wait for her i gotta live my life for now but I feel she the right girl.

  50. Will Scott says

    Javier,

    Some people are willing to wait forever for the right one so 4-5 years may not be the “end” (In the Bible check out Genesis 29:20, “So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her”); however you can’t wait and find out she didn’t!

    Long distance is tough and I really don’t recommend text or email for “discussions” as it’s just TOO EASY TO MISUNDERSTAND, not to mention the autocorrect problem in texts. Voice inflections say so much and are not present in text or email.

    I don’t know what your situation is, but I have known lots of people who commute 2 hours per day EACH WAY, so I’m not sure why you can’t trade off driving and see each other more often.

    Bottom line is that if she is not committed to you the way you are committed to her then it won’t work.

    For most of the people who leave a comment here I feel that breakup is probably best, however in your case it does seem that since things are SO good when you are together perhaps you are the exception. Why not take a look at The Magic of Making Up – at least watch the free video and see if it looks like it might offer you some help.

    Please post back and let us know how this came out.

    Best,
    Will

  51. Javier says

    The situation was difficult I do admit. We’re both in college and going down everyday is very very difficult task mostly because we still don’t drive or/and have a car. Buying a ticket would be expensive and if I were to go up her mom would have to pick me up because she lived bit far from the station. Relying on her mom was something we both didn’t like since she would work late sometimes. I was actually working on the driving. She broke up with me not because she wasn’t committed but because when we we’re apart she felt it wasn’t fair for her to treat me differently then when we were together. It was hard for both of us. She told me she wanted to move on because the pain of not being together was hurtful since it was out of our control. We’re still friends but as you know it’s not the same anymore after you date them. We talked about maybe in the future but we both agree that maybe just maybe it could happen, when she lives in the city. Holding on to her is probably not the best idea yes I want to recover her but if she doesn’t want me back then I would be hurt. To me it’s about seeing if she was the one and if she is then so be it if not then continue searching. The thing is our break up was probably the most peaceful discussion one could have heard. It’s probably more of the hope now the feeling that bothers me the most is that it was just cut in the middle leaving us both in question of what could have happened.

  52. Will Scott says

    Javier,

    Whatever you do, don’t make any rash decisions or rush into anything.

    Take things slowly, concentrate on your school and let things settle down.

    Hopefully, both of you will come to feel the right decision in your heart, without forcing anything one way or the other.

    We will hope the best for you both.

    Will

  53. EDDIE says

    ME AND MY EX WORK TOGETHER IT WAS A BAD BREAK UP AND SHE IS SOMEONE ELSE. ME AND HER FAMILY ARE VERY CLOSE AND HER MOM LOVES ME LIKE A SON.WE CANT BE FRIENDS B.C THERES STILL FEELINGS THERE BUT SHE DOSE NOT WANT TO BE WITH ME. I MADE THE CHOICE TO CUT ALL TIES DUE TO THE FACT THAT I DONT WANNA CAUSE PROBLEMS WITH HER NEW MAN NOR HER FAMILY BUT ITS HARD WE WORK TOGTHER AND I DO ALL I CAN NOT TO SEE HER. I STILL LOVE HER AND ID RATHER SEE HER HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE SINSE I SEEM NOT TO HAVE MADE HER HAPPY. IV TYRED ALL TO GET HER BACK BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TODO DID I MAKE THE WRITE CHOICE BY CUTING ALL TIES OR WILL THAT MAKE MY CHANCES OF LOOSEING HER GREATER

  54. Will Scott says

    Eddie,

    (Please don’t type in ALL CAPS – it’s hard to read and is usually designed to express SHOUTING)

    Cutting off all contact would not necessarily be required if everyone can act like an adult. If there are unresolvable behavior problems, sometimes getting out of the picture is easier.

    If you hope to win her back, just be the all around great guy that you are and treat her with respect and courtesy.

    This is your chance to show that you are a person of great character and can handle anything.

    Hope that helps,
    Will

  55. Dan Clark says

    This ones a little complicated but here goes. My Ex Amy and I met and we hit it off great and even engaged. She said she never loved any more more then me. i feel the same. Now due to the fact im still going through a divorce may of been the reason for the break up. ALthough she has a friend that didnt like me at all. would control her and all. Amy has said to me a part of her likes to get back with me but cant right now. She gives up and to say it never happen probably. Now her friend, likes to interfere and get her not to talk to me, or around me. Although amy said the other night she needed me there and want me around. she tries to please her friend and still keep me there. she ask me for things to have a excuse to see me. recently she asked me to come spend time with her while her friend and others were there. i did. they acted nice but then after i left talked about me. Amy my ex she asked again for me to come, but a little later said nevermind. now it has been a whole day and she never said anything to me at all. idk what to think. she has told me she missed me and everything i just wonder what can be done here. im afriad to lose her completely and never get another chance again.

  56. Will Scott says

    You both have an issue to deal with.

    How can you become engaged while still married? Do you think it’s a good idea to make a new commitment that quickly?

    She must choose between you and the friend. Not that she can’t have friends, but not friends who insist on controlling her and who she insists on pleasing. She needs to be pleasing her man, not her friend.

    I see no good prognosis until BOTH issues are CLEARLY worked out, ties cut.

    Best,
    Will

  57. Cesar says

    Ok to make things short.
    I been with my this girl for 4\5 years.
    a week after engagement she broke things off. Yes it was hard.
    but she told me to make her love me again cuz she has lost those feeling due to me
    working and perhaps taking her for granted.
    so I’m guessing the relationship has hope if she said this correct?
    also how can I show her I trust her with out being in a relationship?

  58. Will Scott says

    Well, a few ways to think about this (based on limited info).

    Almost 5 years is quite a while for a girl to wait for a proposal, she may have been growing frustrated.

    Yes, she is giving you permission to go back to square 1 and court her again. The question is, is this a case of a girl who doesn’t appreciate the hard work you do or a case of you mis-allocating your time and attention?

    That is something you will have to evaluate, because if you do win her love again and nothing else changes, you will be back in this same position in a year or two, perhaps married with a child…

    Maybe you should take some time to yourself to really think this through carefully. If you decide to proceed and make her love you again, you will likely find the Magic of Making Up to be quite helpful. If not, a man who works hard to provide for his family is greatly appreciated by the right woman, though finding her is not always easy.

    Best,
    Will

  59. curtis says

    Me and my wife have been married for only 2 yrs going on 3 in may of 2015. We’ve been together since 2009. Since being married was going thru a lengthy court proceeding due to the fact my oldest daughter which was 14 yrs old at the time didn’t like me dating a younger woman than myself. Well her and her mom schemed up and said I had touched my daughter. Which was never the case. But had to take a plea deal to keep from going to prison for 40 yrs trying to prove my innocence. My wife was with me the whole time knowing it never happened. There as been alot of strain on our relationship due to those circumstances. We have a child together as well. There was a point of depression during that time with the charges and what I coukd and couldn’t do. Couldn’t be alone with my youngest daughter with an adult always present till I got off probation. My wife caught feelings for a friend of our who praised her and did the things I didn’t then. Worked past all that. Then 3 weeks ago her younger sister tells her some stuff which I have no idea exactly what. But I was told it was sexual in nature that I supposedly tried back in 2010. None of which is true. But my wife left with my son. My daughter had to go to my sisters. Her sister had always been jealous of the relationship me and my wife had. But my wife is blind with family live to see it. She has lived out and getting her own place. Says she don’t love me nor will we ever get back together. I see her when she brings my son over cook dinner and all that for us to eat once a week. Is this possible for her to fall back in love with me and want me even due to the circumstances. She says she knows what her sister said is true. And it’s not by any means.

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