Have you gone through a painful breakup or divorce? Are you having second thoughts, maybe missing all the things you used to do together?
If so, you may be asking “how do i get my ex back?” There is no one single, magic answer that will work for everyone. Every relationship has it’s own unique issues and personalities.
Even so, there are some simple things that do tend to work for many people.
Here are 4 steps that can help you get your ex back and put your relationship back together:
1. It’s very important for you to recognize what went wrong in the relationship and what part you played in the problems. This is not easy to do, most people have a much easier time seeing what their partner’s did wrong than they do admitting what they did wrong
But if you don’t own up to your own issues and change them, what chance do you and your ex have of making the relationship work even if you do manage to get back together? You cannot repeat the same harmful and painful cycles; learn what you did wrong and make changes to become a better person.
2. Don’t crowd your ex. Give them time to miss you and to exhale a bit.
A breakup is difficult and can really knock you off balance. It’s not wise to make big decisions, even about whether or not you should get back together with your ex, during this time. Give him or her some time and space so that they can process everything that has happened and hopefully own up to the part they played in the problems of the relationship.
3. Spend time on yourself. No one likes a clingy person, so make sure that you don’t crowd your ex or appear needy. Instead use this time alone to do the things you like to do and improve yourself.
You may want to learn a new skill, put in some extra time at work, take a class, or just work on your fitness a little bit. Whatever it is, make sure that you spend time doing positive things that will enhance the person you are as well as your life in general. That way, no matter what happens with your ex, you’ll be a better person.
This step can help you come out a winner either way.
4. If you and your ex share the custody of children then you have to be especially careful during this time. You may be excited about your plan to reconcile with your ex, but your kids have got to be left out of it completely.
They have been through a lot already and you don’t want to add to that by putting them in the middle or getting their hopes up that mommy and daddy are going to get back together.
If the two of you can’t make it work it’ll be like going through the breakup all over again and the kids don’t need to go through that twice.
And never try to use them as leverage with your ex, such as by stressing how much better life would be for them if you were back together. While probably true at least in a way, that’s not the backbone of a solid relationship.
Use these tips to help move things along when you find yourself asking “how do i get my ex back?” . While there is no guarantee, you know that if you don’t do anything at all, or worse, the wrong thing, you will never get back with your ex.
The 4 steps outlined above have helped a lot of people in the past, and they may be able to help you too, if you give them an honest effort.
We are here to help too.
Leave a comment or contact us if we can be of assistance. Should you want to tap into our “toolbox” of relationship advice, check out the Magic of Making Up; the best resource we have found and it was created by a trusted friend of ours.
