Getting your ex back after a break up or divorce is goal accomplished through a series of steps, not just an afternoon adventure. Presuming that you did not initiate the break up in the first place, you are probably going to start with some soul searching.
Be totally honest with yourself. Is getting back together with your ex really going to make you happy or are you just lonely? You want to make sure that this specific person is what you really need and want. There is no sense winning them back only to end up down the same unhappy road to break up.
Break up and divorce seldom affect both parties equally. There were probably good times and bad times; did the good out weigh the bad? Will your ex agree with that answer? Do not go after an ex who was mentally or physically abusive to you, even if there were good times. Move on in life instead.
If after careful analysis of the relationship you still feel you want to pursue getting your ex back, that’s great. In reality, few relationships are not worthy of saving. Sometimes one or the other of you just does not realize there has to be give and take until it is too late. Maybe you or they have learned and will work harder next time.
I hope you have not been pestering your ex to get back together prior to reading this, but if you have – or are – STOP! Begging and pleading just make you appear pathetic and undesirable. You want to appear like you have your act together, not falling apart.
You need to put aside all past grievances. No score settling or score keeping, you want to start fresh with every advantage. Let your ex know that you are not holding grudges and want to do your best to treat him or her with the utmost of respect at all times.
Since you want to start anew, wait a short time if you have recently encountered your ex before trying to get together again in any way.
Once you do decide to make contact, try for something simple – you don’t even have to call it a date. Don’t tell all of your mutual friends about getting your ex back, either. Just let them know that you are happy, positive, looking forward to moving on in life with whoever you determine is the right person to do that with.
The first time back together could just be for coffee or at a snack kiosk in a mall or park. Sometimes there is something of hers/his you need to “return” to them. In the process of the time together always direct the conversation at things they are interested in and will make them happy.
You may even just want to give them a copy of a favorite photo of the two of you as a remembrance. This will remind them of one of the good times together and can reignite positive feelings toward you.
Start simple, do not push hard, never beg.
Getting your ex back is a process, not a task. You want the result to be long lasting and lead to a happy relationship, right?
Do it right and avoid the mistakes most people make. The best advice I can give you is to take a look at The Magic of Making Up, it has helped with thousands of relationships around the world and could help yours too.
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