Valentines Day can either bring romantic excitement or trepidation. Go a guy who has screwed up Valentines Day in the past, trepidation is the more likely experience. It’s all about love, right? If you think that, you are either a bit naive or are blessed with a woman to hang on to.

Some guys start out thinking they just need to buy some overpriced red roses, a box of overpriced chocolates that never taste as good as they look and get reservations for a nice restaurant – way in advance – and they will be living in ecstasy on Valentines night.

Wrong! Sometimes it does work out that way. If this is the first Valentines Day that your young girlfriend has had a guy in her life, that might work. But expectations quickly change.

Those items mentioned about have a tendency to become the starting line. That means, those things are a given and if you don’t do at least that, you are in the dog house big time. If you want to score on Valentine’s Day then you will do all of the above and then come up with something else to “sweeten” the deal.

Maybe jewelry will work for a year or two. Maybe jewelry will work for longer if you keep upping the price ante.

Face it, guy, you are going to run out of ideas before long. After the fact, listening to your sweetheart from the confines of the dog house, you will likely be entreated to wonderful things OTHER guys did for their sweethearts who happen to be BFF’s of your girl.

Most guys do not plan ahead for Valentines Day, screw it up, then sit shell shocked after spending $200 wondering why she is mad at him and DEFINITELY not adorned with Victoria’s Secret attire and fawning all over him.

You have to plan ahead, so here are some Valentines Day ideas:

• First, spending a lot of money only works with a young, naive girl, and not for long.
• Planning starts before Christmas
• Find out if red roses are really her favorite. There may be another color she prefers, and they may not be in stock at your local florist so you need to call ahead.
• Get that reservation at the restaurant. Here’s the key – NOT YOUR favorite restaurant, HERS
• Chocolates can be tricky. If she struggles with her weight, buying her expensive fat stick-ons for her thighs may not score you points – or anything else. Navigate those waters carefully.
• What has she been bugging you to do with her that you keep putting off. Valentine’s Day or the weekend nearest to it is the time to do that.

Case in point. I hate going to home shows; I don’t want to deal with contractors, remodeling or paying for it. And I really despise cleaning up after workmen and fixing what they did wrong or doing what they didn’t do.

But the home show in our area came up on Saturday, the day after Valentine’s Day. I took her. Smile on my face, didn’t complain. Tried to be interested in what she was interested in.

After that I took her to a furniture store in a an area she would not drive to on her own.

I picked up more points and other fringe benefits that weekend than any Valentine’s Day in recent memory.

Want a money saving tip? Depends on the woman, but…

I bought a nice bouquet of flowers a few days BEFORE Valentine’s Day. On sale. Had a couple of her favorite flowers in it. Those flowers easily lasted the entire “season” and they came as a surprise that day because she wasn’t expecting flowers until a few days later.

If you have been with your woman for a few years, mixing it up can make the day better for you and her both, but start thinking about it around Christmas time.

What to do if you screwed up Valentine’s Day?

This post is already long and there can be a few too many factors to get into as far as trying to save a relationship that was messed up by a poor performance on Valentine’s Day.

The best thing for you to do if you want to get back on solid ground with the woman you love is to check out the The Magic of Making Up, by T. W. Jackson. The Magic of Making Up will cover a wide variety of techniques designed to make up for the mistakes you have made with your love and how to get her to love you again.

In today’s fast paced world with seemingly infinite demands on our limited time and energy it is no wonder our relationships suffer making break up and divorce so common. So I want to give some basic advice for how to save a relationship or maybe in your case it is actually a marriage you are trying to save.

Now every relationship is different so maybe not each of these things apply directly to you but think about it in more general terms and I bet you can apply them to your situation regardless. And I will try to cover some things that apply more toward the guys and others that apply more toward the gals in the relationship.

The first point I want to make is some cliches, I guess I will call them, that I do not recommend for how to save a relationship – at least not in the long term.

What not to do to save a relationship

For guys, one of the first things that comes to mind when the marriage is in trouble or the girlfriend hints at breaking up is to run out and buy flowers. Guys used to buy candy too, but if the gal is weight conscious at all she might actually resent that.

Now who could think that buying flowers could backfire? It can, and here is how and it’s pretty simple. You have bought flowers before when things got a little dicey and she thinks this time you are just out for a quick, easy way to fix the relationship by spending a few bucks (no matter how hard it might be to earn those bucks).

She knows that the flowers only last a few days and then everything is back to the way it was before. She isn’t going to be fooled this time, and may even throw the flowers back in your face! Buying flowers does indicate a commitment to the relationship.

Now for the gals, some of you will try to fix things up by fixing a favorite meal and topping it off with you for dessert. Well, most guys would be quite happy to that kind of a quick fix more often, and they might not throw it back in your face, but they too know that in a day or so, everything is back to the way it was – heading downhill.

We have talked about what not to do, so here is what to do

People in a long term, loving relationship really want to know that their spouse or partner not only loves them, but actually respects him or her and makes them and the relationship a priority in life. When I say a priority, I do not mean that you are on his or her top list of 5 or 10 things, and you do not want to fall beneath a job or hobby.

Believe me, I know that you want to put a roof over girl’s head, make sure she (and you) have food to eat and all of that takes money; more money every year. And money seems to get harder and harder to get. So isn’t putting your job at #1 really, in a way, putting your partner at #1?

My answer is: “how’s that workin’ for ya?”

Probably not too well.

Now, if you are a gal in a traditional situation where the guy is the primary breadwinner, think about that for a minute. Are you asking him to make you #1 ahead of his job, but at the same time living a lifestyle with a lot of high dollar expectations? If so, that is a recipe for disaster, break up or divorce. He will, over time, resent you.

Many relationships these days are not traditional in that way, so again, you may have to extrapolate that scenario to fit your situation, but do you see what I mean?

Maybe a less demanding, and lower paying, job would leave more time and energy for the relationship. Could you downsize your lifestyle a little bit to make that happen? You could both end up being happier in the end.

How about another traditional example. I know a lot of woman who are die hard football fans, but that is not always the case. Many women feel like sports widows. It used to be the woman was neglected during a few months when the guys favorite sport was on; but now with longer seasons, more sports channels and more places to keep up with stats and scores, some woman feel alone all year long.

Perhaps you were a football star in high school, maybe even college, and the sport is in your blood. Is it so important to you that your relationship or marriage is #2? If so, tell your partner that and let her decide if that is the way she wants to spend the rest of her life and act accordingly. But if you want to know how to save a relationship, then turn off the TV.

Many woman would only accept a #2 position like that if they feel they have no options. If you are in that predicament, my advice would be to work on improving your options (work out, lose weight, get more education) while he is watching his favorite game. Perhaps he is shoving you into #2 position on his priority list simply because he thinks he can; show him otherwise.

It is all about respect and admiration

Hopefully you are getting the understanding that a healthy relationship is all about respect and admiration. When you respect and admire someone you treat them differently than when you don’t. To treat someone well you will:

• Be kind and courteous to them in speech and actions
• Recognize their value as a person
• Respect their ideas and what they say
• Show respect for their time
• Honor them, not “diss” them in front of your friends

When you treat someone with these things in mind, it makes it easy for them to like you, it almost demands that they treat you in similar fashion and will remove all roadblocks for them to love you. And that is what you want, isn’t it?

Make your relationship and the person you share it with a priority in your life; and yes, that means something else will get pushed aside. But do you really want your job in your life until the day you die? Are your favorite players still going to be on your favorite team until you die? Is that mall even going to still be standing on the day you die? My answer to all three is “I hope not”.

What you do want is your spouse or partner to still be in love with you and at your side until the day one of you dies.

Show them that is the way you feel.

There is a resource that is jam packed with ways to do just that and the best advice to save a relationship is to take a look at it.

That resource is called The Magic of Making Up, and it has sold over 50,000 copies in less than 2 years. I have gone through the materials myself and was blown away by the quality of material presented. It even comes with 2 bonus offerings that you can put to use right away. Please take a look at it.