Make sure you want your ex boyfriend back for the right reasons. Are you really still in love with him? If so, it might be worth trying to get him back, by showing him you still care and that you believe things will be better this time. Sometimes breaking up provides time for both people to realize that, more than anything, they just want to be together again. However, if you have any other reason for wanting your ex back, reexamine whether it’s a good idea to try to rekindle the relationship.
Milly, 27, learnt that when she and her boyfriend of a year and a half broke up then tried again. ‘After five months, we gave it another go and both agreed to make changes: I’d be less dependent on him and he’d be more understanding. In the end it didn’t work, it was never going to because he brought those things out in me. It was who we were when we were together.’
At this point, he may feel confused, maybe even having lost interest in you. But he does not want to deal with the thoughts and emotions of it. That’s why he chooses to avoid this topic altogether whenever it is brought up, which may be reinforced by the fact that you do not pursue the matter whenever he says he isn’t sure. If you do not wish to walk away from this relationship, you should not allow him to give you further ‘I don’t know’s for an answer and ask him to tell you honestly how he feels.
You are absolutely correct about waiting as long as you need to feel confident and independently happy. It’s hard for me to say whether or not you are making the right decision because I don’t know much about you and her. I think it’s definitely worth giving a shot. I think you will realize if it’s the right choice yourself during the no contact period.
Some of you probably noticed that I no longer answer emails and post them on this site. This is because I simply don’t have the time anymore with work and family obligations. Not to worry though as I’ve provided plenty of good places to turn if you need more help. Each one is trusted and risk-free. I never recommend anything unless it has a money back guarantee. There is too much going on your life now to be worrying about who to trust. You can also grab my mini-guide for more tips.
Hey so me and my ex finished our relationship 2 years ago i started one but idk i keep having things remind me of him i always think of little stuff we used to do and me and my new partner are always fighting i went to this party were i saw my ex and his new girlfriend ( which is my ex best friend) their currently engaged but they were arguing and fighting i didnt say hi to them or i didnt show that i was affected by it but i still have that connection with him and idk maybe i just want to talk to him and let things right since he was my bestfriemd for almost 7 years sometimes i do miss him his biethday is coming up and idk if i schould DM him since idk if his girlfriend has his password and i domt want to seem like im desperate what do i do ??? I dont knoe what to do
The answers to these questions can help you figure out the likelihood of getting back together and whether that’s a good idea. Even though a breakup hurts, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should continue fighting for a relationship that isn’t working.
Relationships are like roller-coaster ride there are some good romantic days while there is some tough days as well. Breakups are also part of any relationship there are many couples who broke their relationships many times and then they get back together. Breakups are not always the end of relationship sometime breakups can provide you opportunity to get back and create stronger relationship than before.
References to the past, encouragement for the future…in short, everything suggests you are moving past the breakup. But what direction are you heading? That is your “hook”, and you disguise it with the ultra-positive tone, and subtle flirting.
Look at it like this, every relationship has problems, fights, and disagreements. But if you two broke up, then there was something very wrong with your relationship. You need to analyze what went wrong and realize whether or not it’s a good idea to get back together.
That was the nail in the coffin for me, the writing is on the wall. Usually he’s on about getting together in the evening after his kids are back with their mother, resulting in dinner/fun/overnight stay. Lunch time makes no sense. It’s clear to me, unless I am THE most selfish woman on earth, that this is heading for a break up and so I thought that instead of panicking and going in tomorrow ready to cry and make a fool of myself – because after reading your articles it’s CLEAR that I’d have done that for all of the reasons that you stated (I love him, I want to help him work through this, I can convince him, etc.) – that I’d confide in your very well thought out advice.
It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact, given her space , never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me (we work together) and will barely reply to text messages. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her on Friday. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas! Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?
Then she say she dont want to and 1 week after my sister bday i ask her sister where she could be ? Because my sister invited her to my sister birthday party and she dont even reply it. Then suddenly at night she texted me that why you texted my family. Now everybody know and she tell me that she cant be with me anymore because we keep arguing and stuff. And she say for now she cant be in a relationship kind of thing.
I know that this isn’t exactly due to something wrong with me specifically, that he may still need time to find himself and a new balance after his split. I know that dating a separated man is risky, I was timid going into it. What I am trying to figure out now is this: if we do in fact break up tomorrow, I want him to know that I will still be here ready to work on things and keep cultivating a relationship. That I want him and I to pull through this and that if he needs time away, that’s completely fine with me. I have thought about my reasons for this and they’re centered around the fact that we established a great partnership, a wonderful connection, a respect for one another, a support system, that we have similar interests/morals/life goals, and that I see great potential for a future in this. I know that he needs to be his best self and completely mourn and detach himself from his former life as a twosome with his ex before he can be in a relationship, and if he suddenly realized that maybe he hasn’t completely done that yet – I get it. That’s okay (kind of wish the “I love you part” wasn’t said then…). All of that said, I still want HIM. I want HIM to be my person, I want him in my future. I am planning to go tomorrow and listen a great deal, say my bit, thank him for who and what he was to me and the time that we had together, and tell him that I’ll always be here for him. I plan on establishing and sticking to the “no contact contract” (yes, I gave it a nickname to try and think a little more positively about the whole situation…giggle away, everyone! 🙂 ) and then follow the rest of the steps. I just DON’T know how to convey to him that I see all of these things and want all of these things and that I DO love him and respect him and his process immensely without looking like a needy beggar who cannot accept reality. I am none of those things. I am a person who has met someone where unfortunately circumstances prevent from us having the relationship that I know we could and that we’ve had thus far, despite hiccups along the way. I am a strong and independent person who knows what she wants and is prepared to wait for/fight for it.
Keep in mind that your breakup didn’t happen just because you did something wrong or you said something wrong or you were not prettier enough to be with your ex or you gave too much to your ex for too little efforts.
Ouch! That definitely hurts. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Remember, you are the one that has to be in control. You may have made one of the following mistakes:
And after the break up my ex husband indicated he wanted me back (we have two kids) but I refused because I want someone better. Also, interestingly right after the break-up my former neighbour asked me out for a drink through facebook. But I did not want to play with others since I am into my ex boyfriend. So I refused especially because I know that my neighbour would be serious about the relationship. He was trying with me previously, confessed his feelings but he is too simple for me: I mean he is not interested in deeper things and I am. So I refused him previously as well. And I am chatting with a guy who is quite interested in me. So as you can see I dont have to feel that I would not have any other chance. I am on dating sites. I am friendly and quite ok for my age. Also, i have 4 degrees. So I am not absolutely stupid. Men are attracted to me. And I am 38. I am after a 20 year long marriage so obviously I know my feelings for this guy wont last forever. I am not that naive. The main point is that: I would like one more chance with this guy because maybe we would get on very well if I try seriously. And since I realized that I need not only sex but someone who loves me and who I can love, at the end of the day I have to change my approach/behaviour anyway. So why not now and why not with this guy. It is not that easy to find someone who is interested in deep-speaking and still sober enough and who behaves in a loving way towards me. Also we were perfectly in synch in sex. So what else would I want? Of course maybe it wont work. I am realistic. I know this guy only for 3 months and we had fights. I am nornmally not an agressive type but I was the one who started the fight, he remained polite while I was swearing. This shows that I tried to protect myself from emotions. He realized that it is my fear but i did not want to realize. And you know I want this only if it works well. Basically I dont want this guy at any cost but I wanna see where it goes if I really try without fears. Maybe he is the right person for me.
After a week of no real communication we got together for a chat where he said that he didn’t want to cut me completely out of his life but didn’t want a full-on relationship at the moment but proposed that we began dating again to see if we could “reignite the spark” with no real idea of where it might lead. It could lead to us getting back together it might not… but we would be exclusive to each other .
If you have been able to re-seduce your ex after years of being apart and ultimately got back together for good don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below. Your approach and tips could be of great benefit to someone looking to get back with a lost love!
We ended up breaking up arguing… she yelled at me and hung up on me.. i said things to her after that she said made her feel like a monster after I said how inconsiderate she was, etc… She messaged me the next day and tried to get back together the next day, and I said no…then she messaged me and said ‘good luck with your career’ and that was it. my last message was basically telling her its healthy for us to stop and that i dont want to be on bad terms and i feel we should talk, and told her its up to HER to call me as I wont message her again. apparently she is at ease now according to mutual friends. I think its because the relationship was emotionally draining the last 4 months.
my boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. although it was a break up, he also said he just wants time and space to think about things and he would consider getting back together if major things changed, but he’s not sure if that’s possible. we had a really great relationship full of respect and trust, we just started to argue more and more and i think we need some time apart for him to realize the problems can be fixed and are not worth throwing out an amazing relationship over. we’re both in college and on winter break, so i’m planning on reaching out when we both get back. i’m in the middle of no contact, but should i text him on christmas or new years? does this sound like a relationship that can be fixed?
So when I hear someone tell me I want my ex back, I always ask them if they are prepared to change or to evolve in positive sense to make their ex want to be with them again. If you are ready to step out of your comfort zone and in certain instances re-visit some of preconceived notions or beliefs that you may hold about you and your ex than anything is possible!
When women attempt to communicate their feelings of fear, dismay, or anxiety, they use words, cite facts, or employ a tone that causes a man to imagine he is being attacked. In her mind she is looking for compassion and understanding, but to his ears she is finding fault with him. Unfortunately, when a man feels attacked he responds defensively. He either waits quietly for his wife to finish her tirade, defends himself, counter attacks, or leaves.
Should I try an wrk it out in the future? When I left the 1st time. I never contacted him. He did it all. The 2nd time. Ya, I did for 9mos cause he was such an ass an I was pregnant. Hormonal!! This time, Im different. Confused. Conflicted. He needs help. I was a very troubled kid/teen/young adult.. but Ive prevailed. I did it alone an not by choice. No one thought I could. He needs help.. BAD.. HELP!!
It means that you are finding a perfect balance between your own personal aspirations and desires; and the beliefs that your ex hold’s, or projects that they may have, or that you are in tune with something that they also highly value.
2nd Step: Now delete her from all messaging service such as WhatsApp, Viber etc. The only exception is don’t delete her from your Facebook but don’t view her profile. You can also temporary shutdown notification from her in your Facebook profile.
Women are submissive by nature and they want their man to be the polar opposite (dominant). Leaving decisions (could be about anything) to her, is submissive behavior by you, and it places her in the dominant role – a role that the female kind doesn’t take naturally to.
Imagine putting in all this work to be with the one you love and then later forgetting to cherish the moments that you spend together. Perhaps it may seem unfathomable to you now but trust me, after a few years being and living with someone it’s very easy to forget how nice we have it and how special your bond really is.