7 days ago he broke up with me. Reason for breaking up was that he doesn’t have time for me, that he isn’t sure what he wants, maybe it’s other girls, but he has everything he wants with me, so he needs time to think. But I think that he has someone else now.
According to research, it is important to focus on the best parts of the breakup and relationship, especially how they helped you grow as a person, and let yourself forget the negative experiences. One strategy to help you do this is to spend 15 to 30 minutes each day for three days in a row writing about the positive aspects of the breakup.
Thank you. So you are saying it won’t be a bad move considering his ex wife is going to be on his mind that day and it will be the end of an era? Will it not make him think that I am pouncing on him the moment he is available? Or it will come across as me being there for him on a hard day, irrepsective of what has happened between us? Is there a chance he will think I am inconsiderate to message him that day to bring myself into the day as well?
Try to avoid seeing him at all, even when you’re hanging out with mutual friends. If you do catch yourselves at the same party, you don’t have to be rude to him, but you shouldn’t spend too much time talking to him.
The truth is, your ex is most probably in a rebound relationship (Read: Is Your Ex In a Rebound Relationship? Find Out With These Telltale Signs). And almost all of the rebound relationships end sooner rather than later. It sucks, but rebound relationships are a way for many people to deal with breakups. Fortunately for you, it’s one of the most ineffective way to move on. So, just because they are in a rebound relationship doesn’t mean they will forget about you and move on. In fact, it just means the opposite. It means that they are having a hard time moving on and as long as they are in this rebound relationship, they are avoiding grief. And that means it will take them longer to get over you.
I know how excruciating it feels when you still love him after your relationship ends. I’ve been that desperate woman who has tried to win my exes back. What I remember most is feeling so insecure during the process and downright embarrassed about some of the things I did in my efforts to prove why they should come back to me. But then a harsh wake-up call came and changed me for the better.
You’ve made mistakes in your life. Of course you have – we all have. But what do you do when you make mistakes? Do you grieve and pity yourself, locking yourself in your bedroom and hiding away from the world?
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So this is my story, I met a girl in college who is a couple years younger than me and throughout that year and the next we just had an unbelievable relationship. We would talk everyday and occasionally see each other on weekends. I knew she liked me through her friends and she knew I liked her, but we never were official boyfriend and girlfriend, but there were times when we both hinted at that outcome. I told her that I want her in my life and she wanted me to be in her life, but not in the same way. I texted her saying I couldn’t be just friends with her and that I’ll always have love for her because she was the first person I fell in love with in my life. 8 months ago I made a huge mistake and went over to her house back home unannounced and did it so no one would know I was there to drop off a handwritten letter after texting her; I went over to her house 3 times because the first two times I was afraid of what she would think if I did that when I hadn’t been over there before. This mistake backfired on me and she found out I had been stopping by her house a couple times before, and it creeped her out now she has blocked me on every social media accounts and I haven’t talked to her in 8 months. I’ve been thinking a lot about her like everyday morning, during, and at night before I go to sleep, and even dream about her. I know she isn’t my ex but in other peoples eyes she was definitely more than just a friend to me, and I want nothing more to have her back in my life, but I’m pretty sure she hates me and doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. What should I do? I moved across country for work, but found out some family stuff is going on that I might have to move back home to where she and I both live, and I know that once I do I’ll be reminded of the fact that I lost the only girl I cared about and it is killing me inside. Asking for advise on what to do, and if there is anything I can do to make her trust me again and hopefully someday have her back in my life
…category B here contains the exact opposite behaviors of Category A. In Category A, those behaviors are try hard (too hard). But here in B, these are the behaviors of a guy who hasn’t given enough, so the girl doesn’t consider this guy as having long-term potential either.
a. Learning from the affair: Peter wrote out the series of misteps that he had allowed himself to take down the road to sexual betrayal. He listed what had motivated each step — and also what would have been far better options for responding to his concerns at each point in the pathway. He identified the specific situational, thoughts and feeling cues that triggered each step, and the alternative action he would take in the future in response to each cue.
The good thing is, you can surely avoid this death trap in your relationship. When you walked with your boyfriend in beginning he keeps you way from other guys and ready to fight with them. But, when he finds you are always with him then he loses the motivation to fight for you.
If you’re 16, you’ve only been in high school for 2 years….4 girlfriends in 2 years with a “long period” between each relationship…. I know that when you’re young, a month seems like a long time, but trust me, that’s not love. Love is spending years with someone, seeing all their faults, pulling each other through difficult times, LIVING with them, not just seeing them at school, after school, or on the weekends…..that’s “puppy love” in that its new and it makes you have butterflies in your stomach and a funny feeling in your pants.
Is it a bad sign that he is acting really nice (in just a friendly manner) and wants me to pick up my items? Also what should I do now that he didnt reply? Should I wait for him to text first next time or should I try initiating a convo again tomorrow?
On the 16th December he wanted to break up and said let’s be friends i said oh.. i understand.. so we decided to be friends and then one day later we had a prom and he wanted me back out of nowhere.. So our relationship was on track again. And he said to me that he will forgive me for my bad behavior from the 3 months and that he will accept that i will do my best for him.
When I slow down for longer than a minute and think about why we broke up (several times) it was because we weren’t right for each other. She is my ex for a reason… just like yours is your ex for a reason. If it was meant to be then it would have been easier and you both would have fought to keep it going. But now it’s in the past and all that’s left to do is to let go of it.
He was never the type to take blame for anything. So no matter how many times I told him I was just fed up with getting hurt he just didn’t seem to care about that. He just kept complaining about me leaving him for someone else.
So write down his phone number and address on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere out of the way, then delete them out of your phone. Get rid of all the pictures on your computer and your phone that remind you of him. Delete his screen names from your lists and get rid of his emails and texts.
You should be able to provide the exact reason for wanting to get him back. Your break-up is never easy, even if you realized that your relationships was not exactly the perfect fit in the first place.
This doesn’t mean you need to completely shun him if you go to school together or have mutual friends, but avoid calling him or hanging out with him for a little while so that you both have the chance to heal and gather your thoughts.
Get rid of reminders. Take everything that reminds you of this person, such as pictures, gifts, his phone number, for example, and put it away in a box. Put it somewhere difficult to access, if you do not want to throw them away.
Now you know what you’ve lost, and you are about to get it back. Nobody can guarantee you that you’ll end up being together again – but, in at least 90% of the cases, it’s totally possible. You must believe in the possibility.
Give yourself some time, and be fair with your ex. You would feel terrible if he had a new girlfriend out of a sudden too. Have some respect for each other. Take it slow and let your heart heal. It also wouldn’t be fair towards that new guy; you’d just use him as a cheap substitute of your ex so you don’t feel like crap. That’s selfish.
My injury was a back injury which has gone. The main reasons I became depressed were because of my girlfriend bringing home the bread, living in her family home without working and of course being 23 with a back injury… I was terrified that was it for me, and that when telling people I had to leave because of my back… Sounds a bit like bs. I’ve heard of people using this as an excuse to claim disability because the back is difficult to tell whether there is or isn’t anything wrong. So of course I felt people were looking down on me for this. Very insecure I became.
Cut out the idea of trying to blame him for the end and think of what may have also been your involvement specifically that may have added to the demise of your relationship. If you discover that there is fault on both sides, take the time to understand why it occurred, make peace with it and allow yourself to mentally note not to allow it to happen again if you get back with him or in any other relationship that you may find yourself in in the future.
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
My ex and I broke up a month and a week ago. I have been doing the no contact rule for 38 days and still ongoing. I’m still doing it because I know he’s a stubborn person. I thought I was okay and already emotionally and mentally ready until my friends told me that they found him with someone else. It hurt me to the core. He was the one who broke up with me (had been cold for almost a month before that) and saying he wanted to be open and see other people. I asked him if there already was someone else and he denied. At first I tried saving the relationship but in the end, I gave him his freedom. I even gave him a closure message 2 days after the break up and he replied too. 1 week after the closure message, I texted him because I found out his grandpa died. When he replied so late still, that was when i realized and started the NC rule. And now, I’m so confused on what to do. I thought about still continuing the NC until 90 days just to make sure that I feel better emotionally and mentally again (and I’ve been working out on my physical too and had good results so far). If you have any idea on what I should do, please let me know.
Do not pursue your ex during this time. That means no calling, texting, or asking around about how he or she is doing. Most importantly, do not ask your ex questions about why the breakup happened or about whether he or she is seeing anyone. This comes across as desperate..
Note also that therapy is virtually always more potent if the couple goes together for some of the sessions. Paulette, after initial reluctance, decided to schedule sessions with Peter’s therapist as well. They sometimes saw the therapist separately, and sometimes together which helped them to recognize and rectify the problematic patterns in their prior interactions. When both partners participate in a process of growth, the odds zoom up that the outcome will be positive for both of them. [otp_overlay]