I know you said it is better to extend the NC period than to shorten it. It was the 37 of 45 yesterday and I suddenly I had a feeling I have to text him about one event he might like because I didn’t want him to hear about it from anywhere else. It was all of a sudden..like 5 mins I got the idea..I created a text “Hi, There will be [this and this event] next month. I thought you might like going there. Tell your colleagues about it too. Hope all is well with you”. (because the event is something to do with his job and something he likes).
Again, your instincts are screwing with you. Trust me, no one takes their ex back out of pity. No one is attracted to someone who is miserable. And even if your ex came back because of this, do you really want your ex to be with you just because of pity? Or do you want them to respect and love you?
It is possible you may want to know from where this panic comes from. In simple words, I can explain when you get immediate loss of control it triggers panic. When you are in relationship you smile, enjoy and argue with your ex boyfriend because you know you can control your relationship but when breakup occurs you lost control and enters into world of unknown feelings that trigger panic. This make you dunk dial to your ex and say everything that only make things worst.
“Any time a relationship ends, it’s hard on both sides. If a girl is really determined to win her man back, there are ways. I think the most attractive thing for a girl to do in that situation is keep herself busy. When she puts herself first, and fills her schedule, it makes a guy wonder why he isn’t being chased after. If the girl just runs to the guy daily, with phone calls, notes, and stalking, a guy won’t care to have a pest back in his life. Every situation is different. But I find it attractive when a girl has a life of her own.”
well i broke up with my ex month ago, actually we dated only for 2 months , but we’ve been friend since a long time ,i really liked him and he did too during that time we were so cute together and i knew that we’ll become a couple somehow! so when we did ,alot of things changed, i was doing my best to make this relationship works ,he was so freaking cold and also shy(actually thats his personnality ) he was not romantic at all we kept talking just like before! we were like a fcebook couple ,we didnt talk by phone or even met ! he said lets make things go slowly and not to hurry and give him the time to change, i said okay so many times cuz i really want to build a good relation with him (he’s my first bf and im 23btw) anyway last month i got really angry cuz he didnt even talk for day so we made an end to it ! the problem is , he said lets get back to the old us , we were cute back then ! i said i will try , anyway i really cant get over him actually he keeps talking to me and asking what i’m doing like once a week ..but everytime i open the facebook all i think about is him , i keep saying he’ll talk to me right now i just can get over the good talk we had ! as much as i hated staying in that relation with him but i cant just move on like that ,i liked him somehow! i dont want to loose him as a friend or block him like many couples do! hope i’ll get over him soon
That’s perfectly okay, by the way, just saying. Some things you could do is reevaluate your relationship with them, and try to see if breaking up with them was the right choice. Or you could talk to them again, just like a friend, and see if that helps.
Do not cut him out of your life completely. He might be your ex boyfriend now, but not so long ago you used to love each other – don’t be angry at him or yourself. Forgiving him, and yourself, is the first step to peace of mind after a break up. Accept that it’s over and that life goes on. You need to be strong and able to control your pain – how? Accept it. Acceptance is the first step. Don’t try to resist it. I’m not saying you should spend time with your ex, but don’t cut him out of your life either – it’s possible to stay friends with your ex, whatever you believe right now. Give each other a chance to continue communication, that’s what cool, emotionally healthy, open-minded people do.
SIDE NOTE: You may feel as if I am really grilling your approach to relationships here, but as I said, there’s a positive purpose to it. You need to see what went wrong so that when you apply my how to win your ex back steps, you won’t be sabotaging the effectiveness of those steps by behaving in ways that got you dumped to begin with.
I don’t know why we let people rob us of ourselves (or why someone would want to) and it totally escapes my mind why we would even miss people like that for even 1 second. But I am determined to find out why I do and fix it.
I’m 24 year old and i was dating him for 2 years..one day I saw messages in his phone..he was trying to make a relationship with another girl and he told me sorry and give him a chance..I gave him a chance and after 1year he began to neglect me and I was really sad and i asked why he said he need some space and it’s better to make some distance..I didn’t agree and in our third aniversary day he saw messages of me and one of my friend (boy) and i was confused when he told that I have a affair with that guy..he was really happy in that day and then he suddenly told me that he don’t need me anymore because I m a cheater..I try to explain him that that guy is just my friend but he didn’t need to hear..then he blocked me and I’m alone and i realy love him and i don’t need any other in my life..I didn’t cheat him but once he tried to cheat me
The best way to handle this situation is to stay calm and present yourself as you are happy in your life with him. If he meets you one-on-one then avoid getting into deep conversation with him. Just smile, say “Hello” and do your own business.