If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.
Treat yourself kindly, go out to the movies, order in. Allowing yourself to treat yourself kindly can really help getting over that sad, missing feeling. Instead of trying to snap yourself out of it, be softer with yourself than you might normally do. Do what’s best for you, not what you think will get you back together with your ex.
Me and my girl have two kids together she left me because I was too controlling. She left me 3 months ago. She lives with a friend that’s a girl about 100 miles away from me.Before she left I accused her of cheating a lot she was tired of it and left. For two months I bothered her trying to get her back. I’m her first love and her first boyfriend. When we last spoke she said she hates me and wished I was dead. If she didn’t care about me than why is she still responding when I talk to her? I know she still loves me and she knows I still love her. Everytime I’m positive with her she knocks me down yelling, cussing, or threatening to take my kids away forever. She thinks if we get back together I will an ass again. She cries sometimes when we talk over the phone. Do I have a chance of getting her back? And How? We been together for 6 years
Don’t overthink it. It’s important to avoid falling back into old habits, but don’t spend all of your time obsessing about making the same mistakes again, either. Find a balance between enjoying your new and (hopefully) improved relationship and being wary of repeating the same mistakes. If you spend all of your time worrying about all of the things that can go wrong, whether it’s in a new relationship or during your second go-around, you’ll quickly sabotage your chance at happiness.
I promise you that this page is going to blow you away with it’s insight and actionable steps. Take it from someone who has helped over 20,000 women with their exes (see my sister site Ex Boyfriend Recovery) that this desperation you are feeling is not helping you, it’s hurting you.
Hi the NC seems to be working. At work she told me she misses me and missed my kisses. She also hinted of wanting to get back together. What should I do? Should I continue the NC rule? or just go with the flow ?
Try answering these questions: Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier? Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement of being in love has worn off and you are stuck in the daily routines of life? If you are only missing the security of having someone and the excitement of a dramatic relationship, you can find those things with someone else in a healthier, more stable relationship.
Evolution and the desire to have the strongest possible offspring, dictate that your girl gets attracted to guys she sees as superior to herself. All women have this mechanism wired into their DNA in order to keep the human race strong.
You’ve told me a few times that you’re afraid that one day I’m going to wake up and realise I don’t love you anymore or don’t want to be with you anymore, when nothing could be further from the truth as in that will never happen, because I couldn’t not love you. I truly love you with every fibre of my being!!! I want to marry you and for you, and no one else, to be the mother of my kids!!! I love you so much!!! And I’d do anything and give anything to make you happy and to make our relationship work!!! I know I’m guilty of being in my own little world with my training and studying, and that’s just me trying to figure out the next step. Every part of my plan I have considered you and our future and future little family, and it’s what has driven me!!! You’ve always been a big part of the reason for my successes with my exams and my training, especially my CPL, with your support and love, even though I was stressed out with my exams and training because I didn’t want to repeat any, I felt like I could do anything with you by my side!!! I feel that together we are unstoppable of achieving our dreams!!! And I love that feeling and I love that it’s with you!!! You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life and you still are the best thing in my life!!! You always have been!!! Being able to achieve what I have, has just been a bonus, and it means nothing to me if I can’t share it with you!!! I was serious when I said this, and I am serious about it; I don’t want to be with anyone but you and only you!!! I’d rather be alone than NOT be with you!!!
My girlfriend and I were together for a year and 2 months and she kept repeating, daily, that this is the best thing in her life, and we’re meant together. We are very close. I’ve personally never known a person I want to be with more than her, and she expressed the same in visits, writing letters, and texts. Around Christmas, while she was staying with her family (she lives in the adjacent country but we travel constantly to see each other), and after a small discussion about where she might get a job and where we would live together, she turned completely and said (on new year’s eve) she can’t do a relationship anymore, she wants to be alone, that she’s a toxic person to me (she isn’t), and never wants a relationship again, ever, with anyone. She did not explain the details why making such a heavy decision, she said she feels inadequate, and that I shouldn’t contact her any more if I want her to stay. I am very confused. Now it’s been twenty days since we last had any contact and it’s killing me, I miss her and I wish we could talk. I have no idea what to do.
You can do this through building positive rapport with her through text messages or on the phone. While you are building that rapport you want to do your best to remind her what she loved about you in the first place without actively reminding her (if that makes any sense.)
Also, this is slightly different than I thought I should do it. Based on what I should text him after the 30 day + few more for divorce date to go by mark, (based on your article) I have actually composed a message. The flow of the message is as follows:
Whatever you do, don’t get sucked back in to your old relationship. First of all, don’t talk about your relationship. Not the good parts, not the bad parts, not even things you did together. For the love of G-d don’t talk about how your ex-girlfriend “always does this.” It is neither helpful towards starting over with someone nor moving on.
Read the signs. If your ex wants to get back with you, you’ll know. How did you know that he wanted you the first time? It’s likely that he’ll be sending similar signals your way. If he flirts with you, tells you that you look nice, lightly touches you, or just always asks what you’re up to or if you’re seeing anyone else, then yeah, he probably wants you back.
If you have maintained contact with your ex since the break up then it will seem weird/rude if one day you just stop contacting them. However, the month of no contact is still very necessary so I would recommend that you slowly, over the course of a week or maybe two, lessen the amount of contact until it seems appropriate to stop completely. Use your judgment remembering that above all, you don’t want to come off as rude as this will only spark a power struggle and completely defeat the purpose of the month of no contact.
If you’re out in a big group, let her see you talking to other girls — just enough to make her a little bit jealous. Just don’t overdo it! You don’t want her to think that you’ve completely moved on.
For one I feel like she still loves you. For example she had a hard time deleting your number, to me she still wanted to be in contact with you. Two, walking away with the arm to the hand thing is a sign she doesn’t want to let you go. Three, I think she was buzzing you when she said she had another boyfriend because if she did then she wont flip out about you not calling for two days because she’ll be busy with her side kick. Two she had a hard time deleting your number and didn’t want to let you go. I think she said that to hurt you. And I bet she is stalking your friends to find out what you have been up to and see if you miss her. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck.
Have you ever been outside and had a gnat fly around your head? Well, if you have then you know it can be extremely annoying because no matter where you go this stupid gnat will follow you around. No matter how many times you swat it away the gnat will come back.
Gottman’s studies were interesting, he would lock a couple in an apartment and videotape their every move. Every discussion, every interaction, every argument was caught on tape and carefully analyzed.
Now here’s where things get interesting… given my track record with women I thought I was the only guy “in the dark” when it came to maintaining a relationship… but I was dead wrong. After helping so many men get their ex-girlfriends back it became quite obvious that I wasn’t alone. It was then that I started toying with the idea of compiling their experiences (as well as my own) into something tangible and teaching them to others on a larger level.
I know no matter what I say here some men will read this and go right into no contact rule. Of course, the big mistake that they make is the fact that consider the no contact rule to be a vacation and they won’t do anything during it.
Work on yourself. Everyone can use some self-improvemnt, and what better time to do it than when you have to win your ex back? While you’re backing off from your ex and giving her some breathing room, you should spend some time focusing on becoming a more self-assured, confident, understanding, and mature person. This will help you make a better impression on your ex once you win her over again.
There’s no such thing as ‘being friends’ with your ex… especially if you still want her back. This is a myth, perpetuated by bad movies and people who are desperately trying to transition from being friends back to lovers again.
Don’t sound like you’re begging and pleading; instead, make it sound like barely a question at all. Let her know that you’re going to try again, and hopefully you’ll get the answer you were looking for.
This video is important because it teaches you REAL reason why your ex is not coming in your life again and show you how little text messages can erase all ‘Bad memories’ and create powerful relationship (even if your ex never picks your phone).
When you stop begging her to come back, give her some space, go to work on yourself, move slowly when contacting her, and show up as your best self, you’ll be giving yourself the best chance of getting back together.
Get in her friends’ good graces. Maybe one of the reasons that your relationship ended is that her friends didn’t think you made an effort to get to know them, or that they thought you didn’t care enough about your ex to make the relationship worth it. So, if you want your girl to want you again, winning her friends over can help you pave the path to her heart. Here’s what you can do:
I met a girl in my work place and we became good friends…she had a bf from college but she was not in good terms with him I mean he had a ex gf and he was nbreaking u. With her and she. Was not sure of him..I asked her to breakup rather than taking it this far..with no intention of us being committed.. Later we became close and got into a relationship known only to my friends and her ex.. After 8-9 months of things going peaceful it started to take a violent turn she still used to talk to her ex sometimes bt later it was on a regular basis now she brokeup with me and is back wit. Him… I am shattered what to do???? [otp_overlay]