In our therapy sessions Peter recalled that in his family expressions of anger were not allowed.  As a young boy with no one who would listen when he felt negative feelings, Peter often felt abandoned.  

My ex boyfriend keeps hanging around our hood,he has friends there. I have a baby boy with him and hes 6months. When he sees me he looks down and doesn’t talk yo us. I’ve practised no contact with him for two months and since I work I only meet with him accidentally once in a while. I still Love him. But I dont show emotions when I see him. What could be going on his mind? Is he over me? Still not talking. We datrd for a year.

Hi my name is Angela and my bipoler boy friend told me how much is luvs me and he can’t do with me and be for u no it we go in to a big arguement and the next morning u life with tell me good bye.he left me for his ex wife and his 21 year old son.so he left me and gone back to nj and sence that i nerver herd from him any more so what should i do now.I can’t get hold of him he change his phone number on me i don’t have his email address I Dont have anyway of contacting him.he tatoo my name on his nick.can some body please help me.

My ex and I split up about a week ago and I also moved out of the country we were living in together. It was a mutual split up, we had huge highs and a loving relationship but we just kept arguing a lot and couldn’t seem to fix this dynamic even thought we loved each otehr a lot. I now think we made a big mistake. Should I follow the NC zone rule or just get in touch now? ALso it is xmas coming up…

well, my friends and his friend always tell me to ask him out because he still likes me and ive been told 5 different reasons why he dumped me most of them say he liked me but he had to dump me for different reasons all the reasons are different. I literally dont know if i like him because like im really good friends with him and people complain that we trust each other too much because he always sticks up for me against my friends that are horrible my ex best friend she was really horrible at one point and i had to sit next to her in assembly and my ex was in front of her she made me go in front of her and she said well as you trust him not me you better sit next to him i did in the end but he went to her your not the boss of her she doesnt have to sit where you want her to and cant she trust a boy, and id stick up for him too like he did for me so…

If you have the patience and emotionally capacity, I would suggest waiting it out and staying with friends with him first and see if their relationship lasts. If not, it would be a better idea cutting him out completely since it’s only fair to yourself.

The quiz below measures how trusting you are. It is based on a “trust scale” developed by psychologists at the University of Waterloo in Canada. Think of someone with whom you have a close relationship, then answer as honestly as possible about how much you agree or disagree with each of the following statements.

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I love you deeply. I’d do honestly anything just to have you back in my arms. I see you in the hallway and I smile and can’t help myself but to stare are your handsome complexion…I want you to be mine again..I wanna start over.. 🙁

Take this short quiz now to determine your chances to make up with your ex lover ! You’ll find the answers to questions like : 1. Am I still deeply in love with my ex? 2. Does my ex still love me? 3. Can I get back together with my ex? Take the quiz now, and I’ll offer you the opportunity to win your ex back !

Hey 2 months ago I said my ex broke up with me because of long distance and I was moving back to her hometown because I wanted to move there for a job offer and you told me keep doing no contact until you arrive there. I just moved here 2 days ago and she keeps liking my posts on social media even the one where I took a pic of the back yard of my house and said a paragraph about that j moved here and I’m blessed. She saw that post but hasn’t messeged me or anything shes not dating anyone. What should I do I texted her 2 months ago but she seemed uninterested but she still sees my stuff??

Sorry because I am a bit tiring. I have doubts about “no contact rule” in my case. In my understanding your theory is based on the fact that there were happy moments in the relationship and after a while people tend to remember the good memories, the overall picture and forget about the problems (eg. clinginess, small debates), the small negative details. My relationship with this man though was about great sex and awful debates right afterwards (since I was fighting against my own feelings), therefore the overall picture is not good. There were no happy moments in this relationship with the exception of sex. Basically, I can say only the sexual attraction kept it alive at all for 3 months. And I am aware that sexual attraction can fade away fast so what remains is the overall negative picture. Am I not right?

Hey, Ryan. I was with my ex for almost three years. She broke it off five months ago. I was in a bad place at the time and was causing a lot of unnecessary discussions. I took care of my problems and I’ve been working on myself a lot since. I insisted on getting back together for the first two months, which didn’t work. We have kept in touch this time, but not in a flirty way. Plus she hasn’t agreed to go out with me. We saw each other twice on October, but she has declined to see me since. I tried no contact back in November and after 12 days she texted saying she missed her best friend (me). I started conversations and she said she was working on stuff of her own, but then started kind of ignoring me. For a while, I wished she would just shut the door on us so I could move on, and the fact that she refuses to do that makes me believe she still sees us together, though I don’t want to be seen like an option and that I’ll just run right back whenever she wants. I sent her flowers for Christmas, for which she thanked me and sent me a picture of them a week later out of the blue, but I didn’t make conversation. Early this year I asked if I could see her and she said no (actually says “not now”. Like I said, she always sort of evades being straightforward, and I don’t know what to make of that). I decided to get more serious with no contact. It’s been like 15 days and I’m getting the no contact “symptom” of thinking she doesn’t care/is trying to forget about me, etc. Is it too late to be doing no contact? What are your insights on her attitude of not giving clear answers? Thanks!

I absolutely connect with a lot of what you said in the article about working through your feelings and trying to actually make positive changes that will help you in the long run, no matter what happens.

Hi the NC seems to be working. At work she told me she misses me and missed my kisses. She also hinted of wanting to get back together. What should I do? Should I continue the NC rule? or just go with the flow ?

If begging worked after a breakup, no one will ever break up with anybody. They decided to leave you and they are prepared to go through your begging and pleading. Whatever the reason for breakup was, it’s not going to change with your begging. The only thing that begging will do is make you look like a weak and insecure person.

The most important thing for you to do while your ex is in a rebound relationship is be cool about it. Whatever happens, do not tell your ex to break up with their rebound partners. Let it be their idea. They have a huge hole in their life after breaking up with you which they are trying to fill with someone new. They will soon realize that a rebound relationship can not fill the emptiness and they will end the relationship. (Do you think his relationship is not just a rebound? Read How To Get Your Ex Back When He Has Moved On To a New Girlfriend. or Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back When She Has Moved On To a New Boyfriend)

It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact, given her space , never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me (we work together) and will barely reply to text messages. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her on Friday. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas! Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?

Peter arranged to meet his wife for coffee. He brought with him his list of all the old habits that he now understood had been problematic in the old relationship. He also listed the new habit patterns he was building to replace the old ones.  

My ex and I have been together for 6 months and he broke up with me last Saturday over the phone. We were each other’s first loves. We’ve had the ‘Honeymoon’ phase but from around 2 months into the relationship up until our recent breakup, we’ve been having arguments based on jealousy, mistrust and miscommunications. We would make up the day after the argument and be good then have another argument a few days later. Most of the arguments were started by me due to my overthinking, insecurities and accusations. We broke up once in September over some trust issues and an argument, but got back together after a week. He said he needed time off to forget the pain and it was him who apologised asked me back. Anyway, this time we’ve had constant arguments for a week straight before the breakup, he said the mistrust and me always starting shit was too much for him and that he’s lost the attraction for me. I haven’t been needy after the breakup and haven’t done any of the 5 things to avoid. I have took time to reflect on my behaviours and realised my mistakes. I really wish we could start again. I’ve only texted him 2 days after the breakup, saying “hey” and asking him how he is. He responded rather quick and said he’s “decent”. I haven’t texted him back ever since and neither did he. Should I start the NC period now? And for how long should it last? Is there anything else I can do to contribute towards getting back together?

What should I need to do ? I am on day 8 of no contact it’s really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We’ve been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due to long distance tho we’ve been seeing each other in webcam. We had some argument he keeps telling we are going to see each other in person but he never make plan. I find out Jan 1st this year he traveled to Dubai to spend vacation with Indonesian girl.(before that incident I caught him sexting with that girl, that Indonesian lady asking him to send her a porn he said they haven’t see each other yet and the girl was virgin he said it was nothing ugh I’m so stupid to believe)

i wish i could get a chance n express my feeling dat im having rite naw..i jst wanna scream as i can n tl u not to leave me coz im lost without u.. jst wanna push back at dat tyme of our 10th class result n change my result coz its al bkoz of dat..honey i sory i break my promise bt i didnt break my feeling 4 u..relly i mean every word i say..sob sob..sob…. [otp_overlay]