Keep at it, realise your mistakes, change everything (better appearance, be more kind, a better listener, etc.) she is still in love with you and still wants you very much you just have to prove to her that you are a better person than before.
Make sure that she is still interested – Prior to starting to exert an effort to win back her heart, determine if she still wants to be with you. Make sure that she still loves you or still cares about you before exerting an effort. Knowing that she still cares is an essential clue that will help you identify whether you can still mend your relationship.
Men and women want freedom, space and time to enjoy with their old friends. Women hate it when her man puts unnecessary restrictions. These restrictions put by men because of FEAR – the fear of losing her girl to someone better. Your girlfriend needs space and time to enjoy with her own friends and if you allow her space then it also makes your girlfriend to miss you.
Inspect your motives. Breakups are hard. It’s natural that after breaking up with someone, you’ll miss their company and the sense of security the relationship may have given you. More than that, being on your own after a breakup often means having to be alone with painful feelings that you would much rather avoid. As a result, your knee-jerk reaction can be to just want things to go back to the way they were, which is at least familiar and often somewhat comforting.
As he saw the impact of his new listening skills Peter all the more conscientiously dug into learning all he could from his relationship skills book, workbook and online program. He realized that prior to the relationship breakup he had had no idea of what a high-skilled activity sustaining a loving partnership was. Now that he understood the potency of collaborative dialogue, conflict resolution and emotional self-regulation skills he studied intensely every night as if he was preparing for exams.
a history of unfaithfulness. While some relationships can move on past infidelity, broken trust is extremely hard to repair and even if you can build it back, it is easily broken again. A relationship that has experienced infidelity is likely to need extra support in the form of ongoing counseling to repair broken trust.
Think twice if he’s already in another relationship. If your ex boyfriend has started dating someone else, consider him off-limits. Don’t become that person who won’t leave her ex alone after he has moved on. If he’s happy with someone else, you could end up hurting him, his new partner, and yourself by trying to interfere.
I have been with this special lady for 2 years and it has been wonderful..this a lady who admits she can never leave without me..we broke up for a reason and that was i was physically abusive twice during our 2 year glory moments..shes a very down to earth person..but before the physical encounter..i started seeing some changes of her txting her ex who really ruined her life she said..i was very upset and couldnt control mu anger n pain..so i wrongfully physically assulted her..after that she asked me to move out which i did the same day..also she had a friend call me to tell me to move out before she even said it her self..im really in love with this lady..i have never cheated on her..since then i have not applied the no contact rule yet..but she keep calling me to see whats up with me..sometimes u ignore her calls and txt and sometimes im forced to respond..we have talked on the phone about 10 times since the breakup and its been about 3weeks to a month now..is it too late to apply NC. Or just play ot slow and answer her when i feel like..she do tell me she care n love me but dont want to go thru wat we had before which i open up to admit..shes not dating anyone now but she is going out with male friends she claim are just friends…today she called me 3 times around 4am and asked if she was in my way by contacting..i told her she not in my way but im a very busy guy now trying to find myself for the right one…she knows my starting school soon. And i have 2 jobs..she said she dont advice me to take on 2 jobs because its a lot of work on me and she cares thats why she dont want me to burn myself out and even if i do take the 2 jobs i wont have time to see anyone and if it happens that we get back together i wont even have time to see her..i then respectfully n calmly told her i hear her and hanged up the fone..she then called right bacm m asked if i hanged up on her n i yes because we was done talking m she said we will talk later..i did make it clear to her i dont want to be her friend n that i can make friends easily as she knows..so i dont want to be in the friendshil zone which she agreed to but still call me..what do i do and what are my chances.
I have sustained a period of 30 days and now looking at trying again. I have identified several areas where i have needed to change and continued to develop. Some of these no doubt contributed to the split.
I promise you that this page is going to blow you away with it’s insight and actionable steps. Take it from someone who has helped over 20,000 women with their exes (see my sister site Ex Boyfriend Recovery) that this desperation you are feeling is not helping you, it’s hurting you.
In addition to working on recreating attraction you should examine your relationship and look for what other contributing factors led to the break up and how you can overcome/prevent/eliminate these things.
Show him you’ve changed. Take advantage of your time together as friends to show him how you’ve been working on improving yourself. For example, if it used to drive him crazy that you were always late, make a point of showing up for your outing a few minutes early.
You see, getting your ex-girlfriend back is clearly a matter of knowing what she wants… and giving it to her. Now here’s where things gets messy: most men don’t have a clue what that is. What’s worse is that most women don’t either… and the one’s that do — simply won’t tell you. They’d rather eat dirt than hand over the combination to their hearts.
If you are jealous type then you have to live with mindset that “no one in her life has higher value than you”. Don’t make your girlfriend your entire life instead make your own career along with her.
Now YOU need space. And she won’t give it to you. She doesn’t want you to heal, she doesn’t want you in another healthy relationship. So you have to set some hard lines for your own peace of mind and happiness. Tell her she can’t call anymore. She is dating someone else and it is bad for you. She doesn’t get to ask who you are seeing all the time. It’s none of her business. You need to cut this off so you can free yourself to love someone who WILL TRUST you, who WON’T have jealousy issues, and who WILL truly want you to be happy.
Remember that no contact is ultimately meant for you to pick yourself up and to create a version of yourself that would make your ex fall for you again. Whether she starts to move on or not shouldn’t matter, because she’s moving on from the image and impression she had of you before the change. As long as the relationship with her was meaningful, there’s always a strong possibility of her falling for you again if you seemed to have made significant positive changes to yourself, which captures her attention.
Afterwards we texted for almost three consecutive days, but we both agreed that it felt weird and decided to text each other every other day for the whole day. We both have every intention of finally meeting up on Christmas. She’s said she’s really wanting to focus on school right now, which I completely respect, but I do want to get her back. I want to prove to her that I can not be a clingy, jealous, insecure guy! Are the steps we are taking the appropriate ones?
I may do a review of the book you mention. If so I will reference your excellent comment. Thanks so much for writing in, and also for your encouraging feedback about my perspective of hope and attempts to change before writing off an abusive person.
Now, I don’t want you to engage her in any long and meaningful conversations yet. Wait until your 30 days are up for that. Instead, keep any conversations you have with her very short but pleasant. The idea is that when you leave the room she has to think to herself: